I suddenly got up from my bed, I felt really tensed and I was gasping for my breath. I can’t remember how many times in the past week this has happened to me. Everyone else seemed to be perfectly normal about the big event that’s going to happen in a few days. I was not able to take my mind off it. At my office, while reading the paper, going out in traffic I can’t stop thinking and I definitely can’t stop worrying about it.
“Can you please get back to bed and stop overreacting?” My thoughts were interrupted and I suddenly realized its five in the morning and my husband, who knows everything about me, better than anybody else, is doing nothing to help me this time and he is not even bothered about what I am going through.
“Can you please get up and at least try to figure out what I am going through, murali?” I hit him hard with a pillow.
“Shh, stop it you are going to wake her up.” Brushing her hair away from her eyes, kissing our little three year old princess on her forehead, murali yanked the pillow from my hands. He got up, sat in a comfortable position, pulled me close and said “Okay, for the one last time in this week I am going to listen to you, but there is a condition.” He stopped as if waiting for me to respond in a curious tone, Okay, I am listening I said. “You are not going to stress yourself with the same thing over and over again and you are not going to get up in the middle of the night every day, am I clear?” he replied.
I thought to my self for while, well, that’s not going to happen, but for now he was ready to listen to me and I have been really desperate to have someone hear me out. so, I said that’s a deal. He smiled as if he read my mind and said go on.
I started pouring my thoughts out. “I don’t know know where to start murali, the other day I was going through the newspaper and my world really shattered reading the headlines saying that a young girl was kidnapped In broad daylight In the middle of this big city.”
I was wiping my nose, eyes and started crying and I didn’t even care anymore what anybody would think. He was listening that’s all i cared. I was cuddling up in his arms and he was just wiping my tears and kissing my forehead and laughing. I continued to cry, speak and cry again. The other day at my office People where saying that there were a batch of people who always abduct young girls and sell them off. Please murali we are not doing it please and this time I was crying real hard that my baby almost woke up.
“Calm down maya calm down,” murali was not yelling at me this time, like always, instead he tried to assure me that everything is going to be fine just like it has been with all of us. He continued, I understand your love, your emotions and I really respect all of it. I was still crying but paying attention and trying to accept that the day is almost there.
Murali continued, Don’t you want our girl to grow up, speak up for herself, see the world, learn things, make friends, learn to push the world and move ahead, go to college, dress beautifully, be a sweet heart for some people, all those desperate love letters, have some crushes, sometimes heartbroken, sleepless nights before exams, tension before the results are out, late night movies with her friends, parties all night? don’t you want her to tell you about all the latest gadgets and fashions as we grow old? Don’t you want to go shopping with her? See the world? Go on long drives? Don’t you want to teach her some martial arts and see her kicking the hell out of the jackass people we keep seeing these days?
“Most importantly don’t you want her to be happy? She is three years, maya, just a little girl who just wants to be happy as of now and even before she starts dreaming , you want to clip her wings and stop her from making us proud?” With an outburst of laughter, he continued I dint even think that we would be having such a weird conversation Maya.
I was embarrassed, blushing and thought how stupid I was.
I was happy that I had this talk with murali. I looked at my phone and it was already eight, my princess was also wide awake by then. I took her in my arms, kissed her and turned back to my husband who was trying to fall back to sleep again. “Don’t worry about me murali” i said and this time i was more confident about what i was speaking. I have been overreacting like you said. I will do everything to keep her happy and like someone said, “I may not be able to make the world child proof but I will make my child world proof”. I finally agree with your decision of putting my little princess in school.