Thanks For Nothing, Mom And Dad!

Excerpt: Editor's Choice: There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me. Their fighting is so loud. It makes me unable to concentrate on finding any sunshine (Reads: 591)

 

Editor’s ChoiceA Short Story – Thanks For Nothing, Mom And Dad!

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Thanks For Nothing, Mom And Dad!- A Short Story
Photo credit: anitapeppers from morguefile.com

Dad picks on Mom! Mom gets sarcastic with Dad! They poke and shove each other! They rage at each other! They call each other names! Dad gets sarcastic with Mom when she starts crying! Together, they create a thunderstorm!

There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me. Their fighting is so loud. It makes me unable to concentrate on finding any sunshine breaking through the clouds. There have never been any blue skies in my life. I have never once seen my parents holding hands, kissing, or smiling at each other. I have never even heard them telling each other, “I love you.”

Neither one of them hear me crying for them to stop! Neither one of them see my heart breaking! They don’t even see the horror in my eyes! How can my parents be so thoughtless and selfish? The only time it stops is when Dad walks away from Mom and I without giving either one of us a moment’s thought! Mom’s shouting, yelling, and pleas for him not to leave fall on deaf ears! Mom starts sobbing, hyperventilating, and holding her head in her hands!

Why couldn’t you ever stop to think about what I was going through? Instead of trying to comfort her own daughter, who is sobbing even more hysterically, she looks at me with an expression of both rage and resentment! I feel like she sees me as nothing more than a burdensome and responsibility. If only she would cherish and adore me like other mothers cherish their kids.

My own sob’s fall on Mom’s deaf ears, too! She leaves me behind and goes downstairs to sleep on the couch for the night! Thanks for nothing, Mom! A real mother would try to comfort her sobbing child the best she could!

“I lose my way, and it’s not too long before you point it out.”

Mom is always giving me lectures about what is not allowed! Instead of forgiving me when I do something that is wrong according to her, all she does is shout and raise her voice! I can’t take it! Mom seems to enjoy wearing the pants in the house since Dad walked out on us. I guess she learned how to be a tyrant from Dad! Why couldn’t you ever try learning how be forgiving like other parents are?

“I cannot cry because I know that’s weakness in your eyes.”

Mom sees me sobbing. But does she hug me? No! Do I get any words of comfort from her? No! All she does is tell me,

“Wipe those tears and show your mother what a big girl you can be.”

Thinking of all the times that I wanted and needed a hug or a comforting word from her, but never got one, makes ache physically. Gee, Mom! Thanks for nothing!

“I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life.”

Between the two of us it seems like I am always the adult, and Mom is always the child. She is always talking about both her loneliness and her troubles at work. She is always telling me to cheer her up by saying,

“Wear that grin, and show your mother what a pretty little lady you are.”

That is the only time she is ever good to me. I wish she knew how much energy this is draining from me, both mentally and physically. She expects me to bear the weight of her troubles on my shoulders. Who am I supposed to be, her therapist? It should be the other way around, and it’s not fair! I was the one in need of a therapist! I was the one in need of somebody who would ease my troubles and loneliness! Did you ever try to do that! No! Thanks for nothing, Mom!

I can never recall either Mom or Dad giving me a grin when I was troubled or lonely. Neither one of them had ever tried to cheer me up. Mom has no right to expect to give her anything that she has never given me! This isn’t fair, either!

“Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.”

I am always walking alone. It never matters where I am. I have no courage. I have no ambitions. I have no sense of adventure. Who do I have to thank for that? My so- called parents should both be given the “Worst Parent Ever” award for every tantrum they threw toward each other in front of me!   I have heard that parents are supposed to be a source of strength for their kids! Both Mom and Dad have been successful in disappointing me in this department! This is another reason why they both deserve the “Worst Parent Ever” award!

“Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt.”

I don’t even have the courage to talk to the guy sitting next to me on the bench. All I know how to do is walk away. Whose fault is that? Mom was always better at being a drama queen than she was at taking care of me. Thanks for nothing, Mom! You are nothing but an immature brat! Thanks for nothing, Dad! You have set a lousy example for me by treating Mom like trash and getting in her face! You did not help things by disappearing out of our lives forever, either. You are the one who is a piece of trash! I am ashamed of you!

“Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me.”

I can’t even stand to have a guy touch me! The physical abuse between my parents is the reason for it! I hope they are proud of themselves! Real parents would try to protect their kids from that! Thanks for nothing, Mom and Dad! You both the most immature people I have ever known! I am ashamed to be your kid! I don’t even know if any guy is a saint or a sinner! The only male role model in my life was Dad!

What kind of “father” criticizes his wife, loses his temper with her, gets in her face, calls her a crybaby, and wanders off into the night without thinking of anybody but himself? Thanks for nothing, Dad! Am I going to end up like you, Mom? Even before you met Dad, you had been drawn to losers! You have told me yourself!

“Because of you, I am afraid.”

I have rejected every guy who has ever approached me! I have always ended up alone and sad in the world. Dad was never a soft place to fall for either Mom or me. Why should I expect to find anybody different from him?

“I watched you die. I heard you cry every night in your sleep.”

It was like I was listening to a little kid screaming in a nightmare! I could never rest peacefully! Mom was always screaming and sobbing! I never remember Mom ever comforting me whenever I had a bad dream. To me, you are nothing but a selfish, overgrown kid!

“I was so young. You should have known better than to lean on me.”

You never grew up, Mom! You never will grow up, will you? All of your worthless pity parties made me sick! Then you had the nerve to cuddle me like I was some kind of teddy bear! I never recall you cuddling me like you should have done when I needed a shoulder to cry on!

“You never thought of anyone else. You just saw your pain.”

All my life, I have never seen you express compassion for a single person in the world but yourself! What about me? You were not the only person that Dad set a bad example for!

“And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.”

I wake up feeling cold both inside and outside! There is no one to hug me! There is no one to sing me lullabies. I always wanted and needed those things from you! But I never got them, and I never will! I will forever remember you as person who did not ever give me a single thing but birth!

“Because of you, I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty.”

I live my life alone. I am not a wife. I am not a mother. I am not even a lover or a friend. My depression has led to cancer. I will soon die the same way that I lived- heartbroken, fearful, abandoned, neglected, passionless, and distrustful, with no self- assurance.

Thanks for nothing, Mom and Dad!

Epilogue: The angels started sobbing when they knew that I was scared. I feared that I would fall in love, and find that no one cared. I lived a life so lonely. But the angels, they did see. They would not let me die alone. They gave my wings to me.

__END__

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