This short story is participating in Write Story from Picture India 2012 – Short Story Writing Competition.
Anu sets the camera and checks for the shot. She can’t find a good location today. She is feeling quite low and nervous at the same time.
“I won’t be the same. I will change. Everything will change. ” Anu was very worried today. She has just been proposed by Raghav. She couldn’t say no. She had to say yes. She loves him so much.
It has been an eventful week since he has proposed. So many friends came to congratulate them both. So many relatives called.
“As if everybody was waiting for this to happen” she was amazed by the response they got from their close ones.
“I hate this facebook affair nowadays. Now everybody knows, its official now.” Anu was going through all the events that happened after she accepted the proposal.
So, she is struggling with her mixed emotions right now. She is making herself believe that now Raghav is the only one for him.
“It seems every word coming to my mind is originating a new emotion in my heart. Or is it in my belly? No, it is starting in the belly and travelling through my spine to my mind. No, its vice verse…. hell I don’t know.”
She stands up and decides to take a stroll on the terrace. She wants to relax a bit.
“May be the wind would give a soothing effect and calm my perturbed mind.”
She walks from the camera to the other end of the terrace and comes back.
“O hell no, I am better sitting only”
She again sits down and stares at the camera.
“I am not wrong. He has to understand I am not wrong. I love him and I am not wrong. I have seen my mother that way. I have seen her all dressed up for dad and waiting for him to come and appreciate her. He comes late,all drunk because it was a rough day at office.”
She stands up once again and turns away from the camera. She feels like crying.
“I have to ask her. I want to know was it worth it? Her life was limited in the family. She lived the life in the number of holi, diwali and karvachauth. Thirty years of married life and not even three hundred days to count? How much has she lived?Nothing beyond breakfast, lunch and dinner? I hate Raghav and I will kill him if he does anything like this to me. What about my education and my job?”
She can’t control anymore. She looks at the camera once more. She takes out a cigarette and lights it. She thinks it might cool her nerves.
“What if he stops loving me? I will change for sure. I might become fat. O hell! I even hate to think of that. My skin will loose the shine. He loves my hands. What will he say when he will see wrinkles on my hands?”
Anu is getting nervous more and more.
“They say these days there are laws which gives the women half of the property of her husband upon divorce. Would half be sufficient after ten or say fifteen years?Shut up Anu, you stupid girl what are you thinking? Divorce ? Divorce you silly girl,you are thinking divorce? No way, even if I get the wealth of whole world I will not leave Raghav. No, I don’t need money, I need Raghav.”
Anu is now on the verge of a panic attack. The cigarette is not helping either. She goes and checks again whether the camera is recording or not. It was still off.
She comes back and sit in front of the camera. She takes the hair band out of her hair and let them lose. She caress them with her fingers.
She takes out her mobile and calls her mother.
“Na…ya… na. I am not fine.”
“What do you mean I am thinking too much?” her voice has suddenly raised.
“I know I love him. You also loved dad but what were the special moments you lived together? Hardly ninety days of Holi, diwali and Karva chauth.”
“Don’t laugh ma!”
“What do you mean whole life?”
“Ok. Ya, my birth, Jennies birth.” she was repeating after her mom.
“Hmm. first day at school, graduation ,our birthday parties ….”
“Yes, you lived a royal life together ma. I love you both!”
She was silent for a long second after the call. She was actually very relieved by talking to her mother.
“She is right. I am thinking as a girl. I will be a wife and a mother too! There will be celebration at every step of life.Yes Raghav you are worth the pain!”
She moves towards the camera and clicks a photo of her own. She examines her photo and smiles at herself.
“Bbye little girl!”