There was restlessness in everything around I looked upon. May be not, maybe it was the incessant war within me. My heart was groaning aloud with every vicious stab of it. But there was something, something that was wiping the blood oozing out of my heart, yelling at me to just keep pushing. Rewinding relentlessly down the memory lane was nothing but leaving me more parched. What was it? When did it take the wrong turn? I was entangled in a web of paradox.
I terribly wanted to stand past a strong blowing wind that could grab me away from its clutch.
“Please don’t go away…Baby please…You can’t leave me alone…I am sorry…..” This is what he screams out.
Are you serious Reenu?
I only nodded my head to hold myself from breaking down. Nidhi bumped into the chair beside me to reconcile the situation.
Oh dear! How long it has been?
A couple of weeks I guess…
You people are married for more than a year now and you are just into a job. I mean how??
I could not but tightly hold her arms and buried my wailing face on her shoulder.
It’s okay. Did you speak to him about that? She uttered softly holding me more close to her.
No I am afraid.
I think you should Reenu.
He loves me a lot…I mean I always come first in his priority list, no matter what……I don’t know Nidhi…but if something goes wrong….I can’t forgive myself. I said with tears still rolling down my eyes.
She wiped my sultry cheeks and tried to reunite me again.
I think he should be at the receiving end not you! May be he is doing all this so that you don’t get any hint of it or may be completely otherwise. Look! Don’t rush but have a talk with him. Open it up before it’s too late.
Rohan was sitting over the bed slightly leaning towards me while his laptop still breathing. I dint know how to start it over. How will he react? Am I doing the right thing? Is everything going to be over? I could hear my heart thumping hard.
I went off the bed slowly to open the door of the closet. I left it full open pretending to put the clothing in order. I thought it would help me from falling apart.
How was the curry? I uttered softly. Rohan was nutty over my brinjal curry.
It was superb dear.
It wasn’t. I know….. I think you are hiding something from me now days…….
What? He retorted.
I mean you take care of every little thing that even I can do with ease. Always try to keep me in high spirits. It is compelling me to think other way sometimes.
He was mum.
And the horrible part is that you often scream in sleep saying “Please don’t go away…Baby please…You can’t leave me alone… I am sorry…”I mean we are married for more than a year now and I agree that we are not gliding in air just like another newly married couple….Don’t make love often like before…but still!!
Rohan I don’t know but I need to ask…Is there anybody else?
I held my nerves and slowly turned off one half of the closet’s door. With blurry eyes I looked at him. His eyes were brimming with tears with a little grin on his face.
Come here…. He stretched his hand towards me.
I resisted. He bent forward and pulled me to sit beside him. He held my clammy palms, gently lay over his lap and heaved a sigh.
Reenu…Something happened in our life which was very awful. Really bad… And you forgot it very easily. I think it was my fault that’s why I was not forgiven. I still remember.
What is it Rohan?
Feeling my palm quivering, he cuddled me close like a new born.
It was just six months. We were at your house celebrating your parent’s anniversary. Everything was so apt. Being the newly married duo we were the cynosure of the gathering. We were on cloud nine dear. Believe me that night we were so engrossed in madness….laughing…tickling each other…. I lost my control. Our car banged onto a bus. I was bleeding profusely when we were rushed to a hospital, but you were still oblivion of what was happening around. Seeing your motionless body drenched in blood I cried my life out “Please don’t go away…Baby please…You can’t leave me alone…I am sorry”
I am sorry…I am sorry Reenu…. He throttled down laying his head over my lap.
I dint know how to react. I could not trust. Probably myself for what I did just few minutes before. I was fuming. Fuming on god for not letting me remember that moment. The moment my Rohan uttered those beautiful words for me, expressed his deep love for me.
I embraced him with his face literally buried over my chest believing it might heal the wounds in his heart that I made unknowingly.
We went mum for some time. Maybe we just found back those days of love. That compulsive sting of love….
When are you inviting your friend to our home?
No..Just to tell that I am not so bad….
:):)Rohaaan:)you just can’t stop making me smile for a moment.