I am writing this letter out of care and affection for you. I just want you to know all these which were running in my mind.
I was: As a girl with probably no idea of what falling in love with a guy means I was actually scared of not getting into the trap until I was 25. I thought love would be rather painful than pleasurable, if our expectations are not met. Looking at people who are suffering out of that pain caused by love, I decided to stay away from it. Though I had a lot of male friends I never had feelings for anyone. I considered being on the safer side and a feeling of insecurity developed within myself day by day.
You were: But then you caught my attention as an artist with your beautiful piece of glass painting. A person with whom I can discuss my areas of interest – which were similar for us both. A caring and helping friend. A simple guy who never exaggerated anything and taught me how to stay calm. Someone who admired my talents and nature. A person who I loved to argue with, without getting agitated. A pillar who stood beside me at my hard times which I thought I could never overcome, made me feel highly comfortable and independent.
We became: As the wheels of time rolled on we began to travel together, connected online. I shared everything that happened to me and showed interest in knowing the same from you. I saw a complete practical man that could make my life awesome and colorful. You became the only man whom I had feelings for. I expressed it you in a bold way. But then I realized that you weren’t sharing everything to me as I was. You haven’t made me aware that you were already in a relationship which completely broke me.
But still I managed to pull me out of my emotional disappointments. I managed to recover and be the same old friend of yours, only for you to recover from your feeling of guilt. I recovered only for you my dear. And by recover I mean – I never stopped loving you, I just accepted the fact that we can’t be together.
I am: The maturity that developed inside me after all these is priceless. I realized that my notion of love over all these years was completely wrong. Though I was a good singer, artist and writer for so long, the impact that this love has created inside me is so incredible. The one thing that my drawings, songs or stories lacked all these days is now completely present in all of them. The one thing I couldn’t find in them all these days and I found out now what it is. You want to know what? They’ve all got LIFE. All these works of mine has got life now. The feelings inside me became so huge and started pouring out in all my creations. Thank you my love!! For bringing out the best of me. For making me realize the joy of pain caused by love.
I want you to be: From your text messages to me, the way you speak to me, the way you look at me now, I can clearly feel your pain of guilt. This in turn causes a pain in me again. I don’t want you to feel sad at any point in your life. With you going to get married to a really nice girl now, I want to see happiness in your face forever. I once read a quote by Buddha
The Difference between like and love: When you like a flower, you pluck it. But when you love a flower you water it everyday!!
I Love You forever as a friend!! So I want you to be happy and live a complete life. Show interest in your future and reach great heights. I will never consider this as love failure. Because my love is not lost, it has become even stronger and made me stronger.