After separation with my younger sister, I was diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Post traumatic stress Disorder. I was very out of control. I felt rejected/ abandoned. I didn’t know what to do next in life except put my self down. I Felt so alone. I kept putting my self in the hospital. The doctor recommended me to the North Carolina State hospital. I was staying there for about 3 weeks or so and then i was sent home.
Then i put my self again in the state hospital and after that i was taken to another facility where i could not go home at all. My parents planed on giving up on me. But i got out from the facility because i was beaten by other girls. Two girls attacked me for no reason and put me in the hospital. That is when my parents forced the system to let me come home. My whole back was bruised. After facility and being at the hospital. My parents found a program in Missouri. The program was called and still exist today is “Change Academy Lake of Ozarks”.
I personally didn’t want to go. But i had no choice. Once i came to CALO, I was giving the rules of the program. I didn’t like how the program staff would tell me to undress and squat. The reason they did this process is to make sure you have no dangerous objects and illegal drugs. You dont know what people hide this days. I didn’t understand why they would do it on teens.
The program had a rule where you could not wear your own clothes. I had to wear a uniform. Every morning Everyone would get up early and start of with chores. Everyone including me had to pick one area to dust, vacuum, and take the dogs for a walk. Yes! The program also had and still has today K-9 Program. Most teens in the program are adopted. I didn’t like cleaning, therapy, school. I was trying to do dangerous stuff to get kicked out from the program.
After being there about 11 months, i finally was sent home. I was so re-leaved. I didn’t like how when you curse, get an argument, fight, talk back to the staff most of the time people would get re- group meaning you had to clean for 1 hour and sometimes you can get more then 1 hour of re-group. The treatment was horrible for me. Once my parents took me home I was happy. CALO tried to send me to another treatment but my parents decided to bring me home.
But looking back I wish I didn’t do all the crazy stuff. Wishing I should of stayed and should of thought positive instead of negative the whole time. Today I am staying away from hospitals. I am trying to do better and stay alive. Life is not all that bad.