His relationship status had so many likes. It was like the most talked about thing. Obviously,he was a heartthrob but perhaps i wasn’t so lucky to throb his heart and steal it away.
“In a relationship with Riddhima Shukla”
outcome : 103 likes,49 comments.
Comments of heariest congratulations,comments of celebration and demands of treat and here I was, aloof and abandoned with a sharp knife of this status which had chopped my heart into pieces. If i can really describe how i felt..i dont know which word fits more- devastated, torn, broken, shattered, ruined or perhaps all of these agglomerated into one massive word which i could never quote. No only that, he forgot my birthday for a newbie. Torn. Cold. Yea this was I.
For the first time and the first heartbreak. I knew i couldn’t blame him or call him bad. Intact i was unlucky not being his ladylove. Not being a yes to his proposal i dreamed of. Not being the most lucky girl to be in his arms. The night appeared bathing in gloom. Bathing in grievances. Bathing in the rain which had flooded my dear day with remorse. I never felt this lonely. Never felt this scratched. There were only those tear drops which were with me which began in my eyes which wanted his reflection badly and ended falling on my soaked pillow cover. The ceiling of my room witnessed my weeps silently. I felt less oxygenated and started sobbing and soon morning splashed upon me revealing my swelled eyes and a devastated expression.
I got myself ready for school. And i was the usual ragga muffin again. My mother noticed my ‘something is wrong’ kinda expression and asked me about the thing. I tried and succeeded in excusing it for a bad headache. She wasnt convinced by it because it was my birthday morning and i didn’t appear happy at all. I joked and pretended to laugh to make mum dad jocund disguising the fact that i was dying inside.
I reached school and saw his bike well parked in the parking lot. As i stepped in the corridor,i heard so many birthday wishes. Anyone would feel happy but it wasn’t sounding melodious to my ears because i was occupied. Occupied in thoughts of this guy who had turned my world upside down. I was still expecting to meet him for no matter what,he was priceless to me. Entering the class,i saw something ecstatic. He was standing right there with a cake with all my ex classmates and new classmates.
A street of narrow smile showed itself up on my desolated mouth thinking atleast, i was still in existence in his life.
“Thought i forgot your birthday?” he said with the cake knife pointing at me..
“Hmmm thought you are too busy to notice it..Congratulations for the new relationship thing which you din’t bother to tell your bff about”,I retorted halting my tears.
“Ayiyee i was going to tell you first but Riddhima wanted a facebook announcement..And i had not forgotten your birthday, i was talking to her about it and she gave this idea of surprising you..!!”
“okie..but you do owe a handful of explanations since now we have started having these secrets and hiding thing!”,i tried to pretend laughing..
I cut the cake. Made him eat the best slice smiling. I was smiling. Yes. Because he appeared so happy and i liked seeing him happy. Sadness was still over the fact that this new girl was now going to take away perhaps the spot i had occupied in his life. She had started advising him. I felt jealous. Felt devoured thinking he kept her hidden from me. From me! From whom there was nothing he could think of hiding.
And it was actually time for me to accept my soon to be diminishing importance. To accept i was not his impeccable imperial lady. And it was so damn tough to accept.
He came to me in the lunch with those apologetic sentences and then he told me about how Riddhima and he met at his coaching and in a month got into liking each other.It was so queer na,there was me who was with him since years and then there was her and in a clap, he was hers now. He told she had proposed him and all the story which deep inside kept me burning and decaying.
Days passed. Our talks became consistently less and lesser. This chick had made him her puppet. He was always busy handling her mood swings, tolerating her tantrums and pampering her every now and then. I had accepted my resignation from his life. I was a savage sculpture who was lying somewhere in the backbenches of the school during lunch periods. He used to be busy calling her and texting her. Still everytime he used to smile talking on the phone with that girl, i felt a bit consoled that atleast my love was happy.
Our talks were slowly limited to a “GM:)”and “GN:)”.Sometimes there flashed only a “seen ” or a blue tick but there was no response. I used to feel lonely but seeing him happy had made me embrace my solitude. No matter what, his smile was all which mattered to me.
Days passed like that. Hearing him go for movies with her, uploading those cheek to cheek pics. Then, a day came which shocked everyone. There was a breakup announcement on facebook. His breakup with Riddhima. I rushed to talk to him. I was worried about his happiness but then i got to know breakup was from his side. When i interrogated him , he said,”It wasn’t love Sagz. It was just an infatuation. She wasnt the one for me. I realised that. Love is something different and it wasn’t that”
I somewhere felt happy i dont know why. She wasnt his love. So? Was I? Na,not yet.
Days passed again.I was detected of a low haemoglobin. My existence in his life was sound again. He also apologised for not paying attention to me and perhaps thats why i had fallen ill.
Then one day, doing the duty as the school captain in the sun, I fainted in the backfield. My nose bled and last thing i remembered was his footsteps towards me.
I opened my eyes half an hour later in the infirmary and saw him right beside. He was worried. He was restless. He was sweating in tension.
“You scared me to death!! Why? What was the need to stand in the sun there. Had anything happened to you? How would i be girl?!!”He yelled in worriness.
I tried to get up with my eyes half opened.I wasnt able to speak. I raised my arms and hugged him tight. Good teachers were not there . It was just him and his friends who had come for the visit. He hugged me tight.
“I could have lost you today..!! What if i had?”he asked me with falling tears
“Nothing’s gonna to me.Shh.You cant and you wont lose me. I’m yours”
His friends ahemed and coughed.we separated quickly
“You guys carry,we are outside”..they giggled and went out.He looked at me and said noticing the thing.”Did you?”
I knew what he meant “Yes..since forever and for always”
He smiled and held my face..And i didnt know when his lips were planted on mine.We were kissing with tears kissing our cheeks.
“I am sorry babe. Love was just there. Just this. Just you.And i couldn’t see it. Fear of losing you made me know it”
he quoted pausing the kiss.
I couldnt speak anything in bliss. I returned the best kiss after his sentence which i could.
Since then.We are together.And We will be.
Love doesnt happen in a day,
Love isnt always the with girl you think you like,
Love is best when love is your best friend
and your best friend is your love.
I was his painting,He was my picasso
I was his book,he was my chapters
I was always his love,it just needed a recognition and a definition..
My patience and dedication brought him back and i m currently living as the luckiest girl in town.