Somewhere between then and now life took many turns and bends. I was not aware where it would lead me to then, as much as I am not today. Of one thing I am sure, the path I chose today will lead me to yet another and another until I reach the destination, the destination from where this journey of mine began!
The paths were not the right one either, I have seen a few cross by me at the cross roads wondering if I should follow them. I followed the wrong ones and making the same mistakes again and again at many cross roads and envied the ones who I thought chose the right one.
Standing not at a cross road but a fork where my followers insist that I chose the path “oft treaded”. My beloved traveler who had joined me half way through my journey too wants to walk the treaded path, I am tempted to desert my followers but I know without me they would be like Jews looking for the Promised Land, without Moses.
Fear gripped me as I walked this path at the fork, I saw the path widen and move away from each other. I knew there was no turning back once I moved deeper into this path. My heart grew heavier, for on the other path I saw everything I wanted in my life walk away, leaving only memories of journey taken many miles before we reached here.
Memories; of laughter that brings tears of sorrow, pain that re-kindles the joy and pleasure of journey that was made miles before reaching this far. An enjoyable walk together, a togetherness that made everything from the hot sun to the horny bushes things of beauty. There was smell of romance in everything around. There was love in every look, every word… But as we walked she decided to part and take a path, a path she believed had everything she wanted. Deserting me leaving me to tread alone. Lonely and lost I sort company, I even I though I found one only to be disillusioned.
I continued my walk alone down the path mentally battered and hurt, wondering if in my present condition I would ever complete the journey. I even tried to end the journey. There were time when our paths crossed and every time I saw her the more I wanted to end my journey for I did not want to continue this journey without her.
Many miles into the journey our paths crossed again. I saw her battered and thought she was crying for help. I tried to help her and pulled her away from her path hoping to protect her and the new life that had joined her along the journey. But my joy was short lived, my journey with her was again cut short I found my self pushed in the darkest of alleys from where I never wanted to come out. I could not. I was hoping someday, somewhere else I will hear the familiar voice call me and rush into my arms. But she found a new path, a path she chose for the life that she had bought into this world. I waited and was joined by who helped me bring into this world two lovely lives to ensure that this journey to eternity continues even after my journey is broken.
The further I walk the wider the distance between the fork, I look back at where the fork begins, wanting to rush back and take the path she chose and continue the rest of the journey with her. Every step I take is heavier and I wish I could end this journey here but I must continue for the sake of the life I brought forth need me to guide them through their journey, at least until they can chose their own paths. But what I fear the most is the rejection. A rejection that could end my journey early…
I know every step is leading me away from her so far away even erasing the memory as my journey ends…