I am Jagdeep Singh Dhillon( Jaggu) and I m not a religious person. My mother is very religious though. Born in a Indian house in London. Makes things very different than people think. My parents being away from their homeland were closer to the Indian culture religiously. My mother ,I call her “Maati”
My Maati is one genuine Punjabi mother. A lot of love, hugs and stuffing me with food every chance she gets. Every Punjabi out there knows how that is. So, being a typical Punjabi Puttar(punjabi child). I grew up learning alot of Indian metaphor and was fluent in Punjabi. My mother even sent me to take Punjabi writing lesson at Stanford Gurudawara. It was hassle for me to make time between my school and football practice. But, I attended every single class.
One day I failed a test about “Punjabi akhutan”. (Punjabi metaphor). When the Baba ji at Gurudawar . my teacher there told me “Putar koi gaal ni galtiyan sab kardey ney tey raab changey bandiya nu duja moka jarur dinda ya”( Son don’t you worry everyone make mistakes at one point or another God gives chance to people)
My mother use to say this same line alot. I knew what it meant. But I never actually believed it. Would you believe that God gave second chances, me neither. Until ,I got to experience it firsthand. It still feels like a dream. And, I never told anyone about it. What happened to me. Why ,I changed so much and threw away all those thing and got rid of once favorite people in my life. But, everyone could feel. I was more at peace now. More energetic nothing is holding me back now.
But may be its time I finally tell someone. What happened to me at that day
14 Feb, 2012
Time:- 6:00 am
After tossing and turning in my bed. Finally got up looking at the ring at table beside my bed. I had been living in my new apartment. Ever since, I got the job at the Bank. I remember the day when I left home. My mother cried her eyes out. She didn’t want me to leave. But, it was getting lame telling all my friends that I still live with my parents. That’s not done; you know. When, you live in west. You got to act west too. My case was no different I was even born in west. So, It was kind of obvious for me to live on my own. Too bad my mother never understood why that is.
My lack of sleep was not because of I had left my home. It was because I was planning to purpose to the love of my life Nav(Navdeep Kaur). Nav and me been together for past 5 years now and i loved every moment of it. I didn’t choose Nav Because, she was the only Punjabi Girl at my course. May be it was her attitude she “doesn’t give a damn about anything” that made me drawn to her. She is really hot and have big black eyes and raven black hairs. Which was just bonus if ask me. I remember first time I met her. Bumped in her on my way to Faculty room.
When, She called me “Kanjar” in Punjabi. Which sounded adorable from her lips. By the way that’s an insulting word. She thought of me as a desperate Desi boy who was hitting on her. My mouth just dropped at her reaction at first and the hotness I witnessed.
After those 5 long years she was finally my girl friend and I was going to ask her to marry me. I even bought a new ring with help of my best friend Harry Who was just happy as I was.
I went to bed looking at the ring. Got up looking at the ring. I just couldn’t wait to purpose her. So, finally I can change our status from girlfriend boyfriend to Fiance.
Time: – 7:00 am
I got up after a while couldn’t handle the frustration. So, i thought some running would help me. I put on my trackers and started running. When I was running, a beggar was just sitting there. At the alley point. It was weird cause You hardly see those beggars on residential area. Anyway, I ran pass the beggar. When, I turn my head to look at him. He was making a peace sign at me. I finally stopped. Smiled at him gave him one quid and started running again. After half hour running. I was busy getting ready. I wanted to look best for her. I called Nav to meet me for breakfast on the same place. Where, we went on our first date as freshmen in college.
Time: – 8:30 am
My father gave me his old beat up car as a parting gift. Which was a “Vintage Red Bentley”. I loved that car growing up. And Nav loved it too. I bought some flowers on my way to the dinner. we went to on our first date. It was just two blocks away.
I was getting nervous When, I saw that same beggar again. I smiled at him when he showed me peace sign with two fingers poking through his torn gloves. I waved at him.
I was looking for a place to park my car. There was not much place left. I had to go to the next block to park my car. i walked all the way back.
Time:- 8:45 am
Saw Nav standing at other side of the road. She saw me. She waved and was texting someone. I was crossing the road. And suddenly a car came rushing towards me. Next thing I remember I was laying on the road. Motionless bleeding all over. My eyes were still on Nav. she saw me get hit by a car. I could clearly see horror in her eyes. She was crying. But, didn’t came close and she ran to other way. I knew I was not going to survive this. My lower body was not moving. Too much blood on the road. I was laying in puddle of my own blood. of course she will run away.
Even though I was dying, Last thing ran through my mind was, I didn’t get the chance to purpose to her. Tell her how much she means to me. Thinking that, I closed my eyes.
(what is happening. its all dark in here. Am I dead now? Or did I survive that accident. How could that be. If I did survive. How come I don’t feel anything. Just nothingness. I can hear someone is crying. I started to look around who is crying. It’s a girl. I know her
Yes, I know her that’s the girl. I love her very much. The moment , I touched that girl.
Everything shined bright. Where was i. then my eyes fell upon a red scarf. ohhh, that red scarf. I remember that scarf. I gave that to Nav as Christmas present. I am at Nav’s apartment. How can I forget. She was smiling whole time we were standing in park looking at the giant Christmas tree. She looked like a baby then. My baby.
I sort of felt like a bubble now. Bobbing about in the air. I see Nav is curling up in her couch. Harry is holding her. I extended my hand to touch her. It just went through. And seem like they can’t see me either. but, I was really lucky. I had a Friend like Harry. I can be relieved now that Harry was taking care of her in absence of me and thought was consoling her. I felt proud of my choice of friend. Which didn’t last long.
The illusion broke right when Harry started kissing her. I was stunned to see that i really wanted to punch harry at that very moment. but what could I do. I had no body I was just a bubble in the air a spirit or a ghost. I saw them making love. I was sad and furious. Mix emotion, when after words when they were cuddling up.
Harry said I feel guilty. Jaggu died this morning and here I am canoodling with his girlfriend. Finally that ba**ard is talking some sense. Nav was looking at Harry with strange eyes. Then she said something. Which, I could not believe in million years.
Nav said you didn’t felt guilty when you slept me with for the first time 2 years ago. After that, I was numb. Could not make sense of anything. After a little while when stay with them the whole story unfolded before my eyes. Nav have been cheating on me from past two years and with my best friend.
I was very sad and furious with them. How could they do this to me? My two favorite people in the whole world had betrayed me. May be I had to die. To know all that. It was my punishment for being too ignorant. That I could not saw what was happening.
And to think I was going to marry that girl. I spend days watching them getting closer. Both of them attended my funeral together. I saw my mother crying her eyes out. The sad eyes of my Father. I felt the love of the entire friend circle I had which came to attend my funeral. I was torn deeply.
There I spotted the same beggar who was standing there smiling. Showing that same peace sign at me. Can that beggar see me. Thinking that, I moved towards him.
When he smiled at me and started to move again. I followed him to the church. He bought a hot dog from the street vendor. And sat on the church steps. I looked closely at him. He didn’t stop eating. May be it was just imagination.
Then suddenly, he said what is your problem. You might be a ghost. but keep your face away from me. I was surprised. he can see me.
He was done with hot dog. Then, he looked at me with squinty eyes and said.
“What do you want now?”
“Shu shu……..people already think I m crazy. If they saw me talking to a ghost. It might lend in a asylum.”
I felt like a stray dog. But I needed his help.
After a lot of asking He finally decided to help me out. He told me I was not a ghost. When I told him about how I came to see people.
He told me I was in mid world. Nav being my medium I became a spirit. That’s why I appeared in her apartment. And I will stay that way until my final wish is not completed. Which was to tell her how I Love her.
When I was dying I loved Nav. But feelings were replaced with anger and frustration. He asked me if I wanted to take revenge on my best friend and girlfriend. I had told him everything.
I said yes without a second thought. He said, he would teach me. How to posses human bodies. But, I have to give him money after I posses the body. We were at bank. He told me to touch the person I want to posses. And think of memory in which both me and harry was together. I don’t know why but I thought of the first trip in college. When me and Harry actually became friends.
And , it worked. I came out of the bank. And gave everything which was in Harry’s wallet to the beggar. Then, I called Nav to meet me at my house. I knew where was the spare keys of the car. Took my own car to pick her up.
She noticed there was something odd with me. When she asked how I get the car. I said I just knew Jaggu damn too well. After mention of my name Nav started to look away. I realize may be now she was feeling guilty. After our date I came back.
Beggar was still there. I talked to him in Harry’s body. What should I do now? He said you can’t stay in this body forever after 12 hours. I have to leave the body. He suggested I should commit suicide with my girlfriend. So they will be together with you. And then you can take your revenge. Idea sounded great. I was set to commit suicide with Nav.
I went back at Harry’s house. Wanted to trash the place at first. Then I looked at the walls there were pictures of me and harry together. He was still keeping them. Which made me more furious. He made complete fool out of me and my friendship.
I called Nav right away. She came home. I sat her down. Went to kitchen to find a knife.
When I came back. I noticed something I didn’t noticed when I opened the door for her. She was wearing same scarf.
Suddenly, besides being angry my mind wanders off to the memories of Christmas night we spent together. Then again I was standing in Harry’s kitchen with a knife in hand.
Nav saw me. Asked what was I doing
My red eyes and my aggressive way of holding knife made it clear to her. What I was going to do.
She said what you are doing Harry. Are you okay?
I moved my neck side ways
She asked if I was going to kill her
Then with teary eyes she said, but why “I love You”
Suddenly my eyes were wet too. It seem like Harry loved her too.
Then I started to think. Was I the villain of this story? Did I come between them? May be I was the reason of their unhappiness. They didn’t tell the truth to me because they both loved me.
No matter what I was thinking of doing to them. I loved them too.
I moved to picture of me and Harry together. And started jabbing on my face in the picture. I was so angry. Maybe, I should just leave. No matter what they did I can’t do that to them. They were alive had a future ahead of them.
I left the Harry’s body. I was again roaming London streets. Saw that beggar. He was smiling at me. Moved passed him. Then turn back to look at him. He flashed the same two fingers at me.
And everything went blank.)
14 Feb 2012
Time:- 8:30 am
I was back in the car. Looking at the beggar flashing peace sign at me. This time I didn’t smile back. Was I dreaming. I checked my watch and date. I was the day I died. Parked the car at same place. Took flowers and ring put them in my pocket.
Time:- 8:45 am
Nav was standing on the other side of road. When she waved I gave her a confused smile. Everything was abjectly the same as the day I died. When, I was crossing the road. I remembered how I did. And a car came rushing. But this time I knew. I stepped back and accident didn’t happen.
I came close to her. She was still texting. I was just staring at her face. She gave me a kiss on the cheek. Asked me what up baby ready for breakfast. Are those flowers for me?
With corner of my eye. I looked at her phone. She was texting Harry. All came back rushing to me.
I said no. the flowers are not for you
And I took out the ring
Showed it to her………….she was surprised to see the ring
I said that ring is not for you either
Then I dumped both flowers and ring in a dustbin nearby right in front of her. Showed her middle finger. Which said everything that I didn’t.
While going back to my car. I said you both loser belongs together.
And I am sure she knew what I meant by that
We were done…….i didn’t even look back to see her reaction.
Time:- 9:00 am
I am at bank. Harry spotted me coming in the bank. He was coming to me with smile. When, I grabbed a key board from the cubical.
And smashed the keyboard right in Harry’s face. His nose was bleeding. Then a kick to the balls. Harry was wailing on floor.
I told him
I know about you and Nav …….you a**hole
Stay away from me……..and you can have her. She is all yours.
I went back to the car. Find my way back home. Rang the bell on Dhillon residence.
Maati came to the door. Her smile got bigger after seeing me. I hugged my Maati for a minute. She knew I was troubled emotionally. I asked my Maati. If she wants to go to the Gurudawara with me
She was looking at me strangely.
Are you okay Puttar(Son)?
Yeah yeah Maati. Lets just go.
I was in Gurudawara took blessings. And thanked God for this Mysterious encounter.
After the encounter.
Both Harry and Nav admitted what they been doing behind my back.
we don’t talk to each other any more.