Hey! I’m sarah . Now I’m going to share my life story. I was the second child in my family. First one being my brother.My first cry was on 5 dec,1992. My parents had lived twentieth century but still they just don’t know how to brought up a second child,especially my mom. I mean like second child mean second hand. Their first priority was my brother. Ever since childhood I have faced these. Sometimes I wish I’d run away, but I can’t. Society doesn’t give me a shit if I do so.My mom just goes around me.What I does is wrong.
Basically I’m an introvert. I can’t mingle so easily with everyone. This society doesn’t give you a chance to prove them. Everyone would ask me why won’t you speak???and blah blah blah……As the society my mom won’t leave a chance to prove her. She would use those reasons to scold me. Do you ever feel like you wanna cry out loud but you have to stop it. The pain you get when you try to stop your cry is unbearable.
The only reason I was brought up is just because I was born. There is one more reason behind this is that I study far better than my brother. So they think that I could do my job after my study and take the responsibility of my family,OH sorry,of the family. Whenever I raise my voice.my mom would say that because of her sin in her previous life i became her daughter. She is treating me as her punishment.
I was skinny since childhood.Though I take healthier food I can’t gain my weight. As told you already this society doesn’t leave any chance to prove them. Whenever I get into any ceremony,my relatives ask that why can’t I gain my weight and why doesn’t I eat food.Not only me they would even ask my mother that why weren’t you not giving healthier food.And at that time my mom have a stomach full of anger on me. After going to home she would give me food by saying that relatives are asking her why doesn’t she give me healthier food. She just giving me food because she is facing the questions of relatives not just because she loves me. On the other side my brother. No one should get this kind of brother.
As I was slightly darker than him he used to call me darker. Please don’t laugh. Is it really my fault??Always he irritates me. If he does some mistake he throws on me. I can’t object that because I don’t have that right. Seriously this is a thug life. The only one who understands me was my father. He does really hard work to strive our hunger and make us educate. But my mom she really doesn’t care my father. I wanna tell all the problems I was facing with my mom but I can’t.I don’t wanna break relationship between them.
When I was fourth standard I have observed that my mom was talking to someone on phone for hours and hours.I can’t guess who that was.I don’t know who he was.We live in a rented house of three rooms.Me and my brother was watching television in the living room.An uncle came to our house.My mom and the uncle spent many hours in talking in other room.I just curse on my mother.My father would go to work at 10 in morning and return at 10:30 at night and at afternoon comes to home to have lunch.We would go to school.
My mom just spends in talking on phone all the time.I have realized and want to talk to my brother one day.I knew that he won’t listen.I dropped.If I give a complaint about this my mom won’t get punished according to the rules of the Indian constitution and law.I have googled it.In India where I live every woman are treated like goddess,but the same India never realized that ghost can be a woman.
There is no single day that I have slept a full night.Second sunday of may is celebrated as mother’s day.You know what I never ever wished my mom.She would ask why won’t I wish her???You don’t deserve to be a mother-I wanna say bit I can’t.When I perceived my tenth standard ,I joined in hostel and completed my +2 standards.I really had spent those days so happily far to my mom and relatives.I think friends have become my family.After that I have chosen engineering course and I lived in hostel.But whenever I come to home for holidays the same atmosphere where everyone makes their day by bullying me doesn’t change.I was like I have grown up but these people are still there itself.
I have decided to QUIT.Yes!!! to quit my life by suicide.But I just thought that why I have stepped into this world.I want to prove myself.I want to return their money that was spent on me since my childhood from the day I dropped from my mom’s belly (operation) to the day I got my first salary with interest.
Once I went to home with whole money to return which was shocking for everyone.That day I wanted to speak all the pain I had suffered but I can’t. Because there is nothing use of it.I think they have understood the pain when I brought money.I just gave them without saying a single word and return to my hostel. Then I bought a new house and a car.Now,there is only me in my world.I am living very happily. I had a dream of going world tour.I wanted to see each and every corner of the world.
Now I could fulfill my dream.I’ll be single forever and ever till the last breath of my life because I realized what happens when I have family and relatives.You all in the world would think that what in the world has made me think like that about my mom.But once if you are in my position you would have done the same too.The mother who keeps us for 9 months in her womb must be treated as goddess.It wasn’t wrong but the same mother treated her second child like she is nothing to her is absolutely wrong.And because of that culture I am still saying MY MOM not THE MOM.I just curse her ,curse her.This is ME and I won’t change for a CAUSE.