I Lived Wrong

A girl once asked me sweet,

To kiss life straight in the lips,
She retold me an adage to heed,
That, adventure was risky, but routine lethal.

 

A friend of hers cornered me,
And demanded from my lips,

To keep mind from heart if I were,
To embrace chubby fun and not steel logic.

 

Today I stare into the dark of times,
My life sprawled before mine eyes.

I cry, tears unstopped I wail,
Missed lovely joy have I, for ugly, ruthless fact.

 

“Curse you!”, I cry to the me in the past,
Yet I know, It was already done,

For looking back, I see a battlefield,
Triumphant facts, shattered joy.

 

I think its over, my time for joy,
The malady had spread deep into my heart.

I cover in fear, at joy, at love,
Like the blind who wince when he sees the light.

 

I went by Frost, in choosing paths,
The lesser walked one did I wander,

It did make a lot of difference,
Loneliness alone kept me company.

 

Had I loved Love and not truth,
I know not where, I might now lay,

Maybe at a peak, or at a trench,
But humans in both would drink with me.

 

I cry, knowing full well its futility,
Helpless, minus love I cry.

A voice does say, it is never too late,
I fear to pay heed, the last scar hurts.

 

I beg the silence to scream with me

Silence replies with deeper quiet.
I look back; I see wrongs;

Rules, religions, boundaries the biggest.

 

I still have fire in me; I shall arise
To only erase the biggest wrongs.

I’ve fallen hard. But the pits will I for all clear
who choose to walk the path of solitude..

 

To those two girls, my family for life,
I thank, for breaking the still and quiet.
Past rules, past religions, past boundaries for all,

I wander; with fear, yes, but enough hope to change.

***