Poem – The Love that was Never Mine
Photo credit: ecerroni from morguefile.com
An idiot was I, days were with problems rife
When on a warm sunny day,
A maiden fair, walked suddenly into my life.
I tried to avoid her, live life as I always did
Go through my daily chores, ignore her best I could
But was I successful? Oh I wish!!
Least prepared was I, too scared to hope life would give me a miracle
When one day in class, she decided to sit right next to me!
Suddenly conscious, I got goose bumps, would she see?
She chatted on, with her oh-so-many friends
To be one of them, I could make any amends!
But for her, I was just another face in the crowd
Lost amidst the shouts and cheers of others so loud.
Days passed by, my flame so secret burned into a fire
And her thoughts were all over my mind like the scent of myrrh.
For some strange, happy coincidence, her gang of girls
Suddenly turned on me, and now we were made a pair!!
Happy was I, but I hid my smile beneath a mask of confusion
But so thankful for her friends’ contribution!!
Then one day, all of a sudden, a text I received
It was from her, with excitement my chest heaved!!
And thus began our endless chat sessions
I poured myself into these, all deep thoughts and confessions.
Those were the days, nothing ever seemed to go wrong
When the two of us developed a friendship so strong.
And from a crush, she became the most special thing in my life
Dreams and reality mingled, her thoughts filled both alike.
We started going out together, although it was her who proposed all the dates
I played along, blissfully unaware of the future that awaits.
I discovered a strange and new person that inside of me dwelt
And feelings I never knew existed, suddenly made their presence felt.
I was actually living my life for her, I later realized
‘Cause it was for her, that so many things dear to me, I happily sacrificed.
Talking to her now became the best part of my day
But still I could never express to her where my feelings lay.
Sometimes I felt as if she too loved me the way I did love her
But a nagging doubt kept me from making my feelings clear.
What if all I was to her, was just a friend?
What if my sweet dream had such a nightmarish end?
And thus unexpressed, my love continued to grow
But never could I muster enough courage to let her know.
I would be the happiest with her, my heart already knew
But truly happy people in the world are very few.
The day came too soon, when we had to say goodbye
The four years of college, in the blink of an eye, did fly!
On the very last day, I went to see her
Not knowing on the morrow, whether I would be near or far.
She had tears in her eyes when she bade me to go
And even in that moment, I just couldn’t let her know.
Cursed myself, so many times I did
But my courage faltered, and behind my ego, it hid.
On the next day, regret overcame me
For all my happiness would become a faint shadow of what it used to be.
For truly, she went away, leaving me to pine
For the love that was never mine.
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