Escape

Buzzzzzzz and the engine started again. After 20 minutes of waiting at the Hapur station. Not many people came in I suppose. Well it doesn’t matter though.

What  have I done correct? Running away from the house, what will abbu be feeling? Would ammi have had dinner? What bhai jaan would be doing? Will they be searching for me..or …

 Thousand thoughts were coming in my mind when suddenly a young girl entered in my couch. A year or two younger than me , perhaps . Fair complexion, rosy cheeks, big round eyes full of life and the biggest smile!

“ Hi ! I am samhara “,  she said  in the most friendly manner.

“ Hi ” I replied back and quickly turned my face towards the window, didn’t even wait to see her expression. I was again lost in my own world which has few minutes back ripped apart.

I clearly remember everything.

***

It was Sunday evening. Quiet day, beautiful breeze flowing, one could hear the faint voice of the traffic of the nearby road, birds chirping and everything else was so calm and divine.  I was watering the beautiful white roses which has were the most beautiful flowers that have ever bloomed in my small but beautiful garden. Suddenly I heard some footsteps, I turned back and saw Atiq bhai jaan!

I was so happy! Means ammi was right, he was coming today! Only to visit me! In all my cousins, it was him who was my favourite. He was my maternal uncle’s son and the most responsible child of the house. Four years older than me, but still we were very close. His intelligence, simple and understanding nature, calm expression even at the most difficult situations, all commanded respect.

But today he was looking little upset. His eyes, which were always cheerful, were now looking quiet and dull. I was confused, but he quickly read my face’s expression and greeted me in loudest pitch . I quickly forgot everything and greeted him back, held him by his hand and led him to the round table at the centre of the garden. We sat down on the bench. In my happiness, I even forgot to ask him about tea and bombarded my questions on him!

How are you ? where have you been? Why are you so late? How’s the school going and blah blah blah! I was so excited, and speaking even without giving him chance to speak. At the end, he had to interrupt  me in between .

” Hey, naz, cool, at least hold down your breathe. Give me also chance to speak.”

I was blushing now, terribly! And just nodded .  But  then I noticed, that sadness, again came in his eyes….he didn’t speak for next couple of minutes. Finally, I asked him, in a very polite yet inquisitive manner, that what was so wrong, why was he so silent today…

Never thought, his one reply would change my entire life.

He said “ Our nikah is fixed on Monday of the coming week. “

What a thunderclap were those words to me! What was he saying! He was my brother! How could I marry him! No, perhaps he was joking or something. I thought.

“ What.” I said, shaken with the thought of getting married to my cousin brother and best friend.

“  Sorry, I should have told you earlier, our marriage was fixed, when we were kids. Elders  decided it. “

Tears started falling from my eyes, I have never asked for anything in my whole life. Always did whatever pleased my family. I tried my best to become a good daughter. But this..  was unacceptable. Obviously, elders have all the rights to decide my husband but why didn’t they tell me earlier that the guy, whom I loved , respected like an elder brother, was soon going to be my  husband.. I was never the owner of my own life, but…….

***

“Oops! Sorry.”, said Samhara. She dropped her suitcase . And I was again back to the real world.

“It’s ok” I said.

Maybe she could see the grief in eyes, so she tried to enquire what was the matter. I didn’t say anything, gave a brief smile and pretended like everything was fine. She took out her cell phone from her luggage and started texting.

But now, I was trying to figure out what to do next! I belong to a small city, Meerut and going to the capital of the country, Delhi. What will I do, where would I live. I just had five thousand rupees, which was all I could collect.

***

“ Get ready soon, we  are getting late for shopping” , said Humera, my younger sister, today morning .The whole house was excited for the marriage. Time was less, and so all the family members were working up to their maximum speed to get all the preparations done.

We sat in the car, drove to the market. All my cousins decided to do shopping while I decide to go to the parlour first. On my way to the parlour, a quick thought came in my mind, that I was not ready , for the marriage. And at that moment, I forgot everything, my family, my groom, and took the biggest decision of my life. Took a cab, and ended up at the railway station and bought Delhi ticket.

And now I am here.

***

I was thinking all the day’s even , when a tear rolled off my eye and samahara noticed it. This time she came closer, sat beside me , took my hand in hers and said “ what happened, you can tell me, I am a friend”

I couldn’t hold back any longer now, I just blew! All my rage, resentment, sadness, grief, pain, disgust , fear. I was crying uncontrollably, my voice was becoming louder and louder. She was startled at first, but soon became normal, and hugged me. That was all I needed at that time.

After few minutes, I stopped crying, , thanked her and composed myself. 

    ***

It has been two years now, to that train incidence, and now when I look back, I know, I haven’t lost anything. Whether I did wrong or right, no one knows but certainly this was in my destiny. I am living with the wonderful stranger that I met in my train journey. I am self stand now. Teach little children Arabic language and living a life, which is actually MINE.

Yes, I do miss my family but there are some decisions in life, which you have to take for the person you see in the mirror.

“ C’mon , it’s time for your evening college, get ready”, Samhara called from outside.

COMING….

END