Family Short Story – Happiness is- Having my Mom around Me
Photo credit: hotblack from morguefile.com
I don’t think anyone is ever old enough to lose a parent……
My mother left me when i was 36 years old.
The first few moments of seeing someone leave you are the most unbelievable. To acknowledge the fact that someone so dear to you is leaving you….you will never hear them or touch them ever again….so many questions come to our minds why now, why this way , and then many of us start blaming God. We humans are selfish we just keep thinking of how our life will be minus that person.
But this is something none of us have any say, as to which day or time we leave our loved ones. Its difficult But we all Have to Accept it and We will.We just cannot seem to see it right away.
It was very sudden i was not prepared but how can someone ever be prepared for such a trauma.
For the next few days after my mothers death, i couldn’t sleep much. The two days that she was in the ICU just kept flashing in front of my eyes.
What could i have done to save her….Was the Doctor wrong…..
Did we make all the wrong decisions for her, when in life she had always made the right decisions for us. After all the education and qualifications we could not save her. By we i mean my two older sisters and me. They were with me through the toughest ordeal of my life.
Her last words were hard to understand as she was gasping for breath and the doctor told us that she would have to be supported by a ventilator as she was getting quite restless, her kidneys were failing…the balloon pump attached to her heart was quite painful for her.
She just left…..without saying goodbye….no wise words…..nothing….Too many questions arised in my mind…..No answers.Why didn’t she fight this time…she was always a fighter…..
I was certain she would recover and start being her usual talkative and independent self. Days after her leaving us i kept remembering all the times that i had hurt her or upset her.There were few but i hope that she knew i didnt mean to and i had my reasons to.
All the good she did for me and what did i ever give her in return…..thats all i keep asking myself. So i say it was sudden, she or rather God should have given me more time to love her and tell her that i didnt want to hurt her.
For me my Mom was my Home. (though i have a beautiful home n loving husband).
Since my father died she and me had a stronger bond as we lived alone in our house until i got married. And after marriage, whenever i entered her house i forgot all my problems as she would often say
“Sab theek Ho jayega”And i really thought i would be healed from no matter what i was going through in my life.
She was always just a phone call away….my solace….my space whenever i wanted to run away from my current life. My life is now filled with a lot of silence …. but just not having her around has made my life empty….in many ways.
They say when people die they don’t go away, they visit us just that we cannot see them, we can feel them and they watch over us, i wish she is here because i would need her help making so many decisions of my life, Until we meet again in a field far away, where there is no good or bad, just Love.
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