INNOCENT LOVE

“Dearest mummy,

I am sorry. I should have told you earlier but I was afraid. I did not want to lose you or him. I love you both so much. But this guilt was burdening my soul. I have to tell you about it. I am writing this letter to you because I do not know how you will react. I do not want to face your anger and hate. Mummy, I only know that he is special and I trust him. He is the second person after you who added meaning to my life, whose genuine and simple ways explained love to me. Mummy, please meet him. I am sure you will like him too.”

***

For a child, parents mean the whole world. A world that has both, mummy and daddy and when one of them is missing, the circle is incomplete. The void is hard to ignore.

Katherine was just 3 years old when she lost her dad. She was too small to recollect any fair memory about him. She missed her daddy. She had seen her mother shed tears silently and how she would smile like sunshine before her. She wanted a daddy for her and a loving husband for her mother.

She had seen that man in the coffee shop, where her mother worked as a manager. She had heard them talking. Her eavesdropping benefited her and she came to know that the man had a strong obsession for her mother. The man unremittingly brought flowers for her and she would mercilessly through them out. Poor fragmented flowers would lie all over the street, and so would the arrhythmic aching heart of doctor in its chamber.

The cupid must be happy on him. In her mind she had declared that very day this man as her to be father and her mother’s to be husband. She was resolute to turn this into reality. She decided to meet him.

“Are you Mr. Jason Andrew, the physiologist?” asked the 13 year old girl in her innocent voice with hopeful eyes. She had blue eyes.

“Yes I am beautiful lady. Who are you and what do you want?” he asked.

Kath was dumbfounded by the striking handsomeness of Jason. She quickly pictured her mother and him in her mind. He is the best match for her, she thought.

“I am Kath…..er…Katherine. You probably don’t know me” she replied

“Hello Kath, tell me how can I help you?” he asked.

“Are you single?” she asked.

“Of course I am. But I think I am too old for you” he replied and gave that half smile. “By the way, feel comfortable and grab a seat”.

By now the girl was seated comfortably on the chair.

“Not for me silly but for my mother. You bring her flowers. I know that. Jessica, my beautiful mother” she answered “Will you marry her?” this time her eyes getting more wide and more hopeful.

The doctor’s expressions went from shock to surprise and then finally to an expression which left a dimple on his cheek.

She put her hands on the table with a firm grip. The table cloth crisped and screeched on the same note as the girl.

“I will. Sure. I love her. She doesn’t like me. But don’t worry little girl, I’ll convince her.” he replied sounding determined.

“Promise me you won’t give up”

And the physiologist promised.

It took him almost a month, innumerable slaps and recordless public humiliations to convince Jessica for the marriage.

On the day of the celebration of their wedding he announced.

“I feel the luckiest man on this planet. I am marrying my love, Jessica. I feel equally privileged to have a daughter like Katherine. I promise I’ll be a good husband, always at your service madam” to this he raised his glass towards his wife. The audience chuckled. “And I’ll be the best father, your best man” raising his glass for her dear daughter and the guests clapped. The circle was complete.

The happiness was brimming and the glass was about to fall. Nobody had the slightest idea about what was going to happen.

Katherine turned sweet sixteen. No friends, no best friends, no boyfriends. She envied the girls who would flaunt their boyfriends, talking about the gifts they received, the admiration, the love.
She knew what love is. She needed one. She felt alone.

***

She finally met someone, someone very close to her heart. She knew him.

She knew this would be wrong. But the feelings that started developing inside her were so rapidly increasing that it was hard, almost impossible to stop.

She felt trickled.

“Good morning, my morning glory. Young lady open up your blue eyes and embrace this new day” he would say.

She would always be flattered by his beautifully carved words.

“Good morning” she would reply back.

He would half smile. That half smile would take her back to some old memory.

He would kiss her gently on her forehead and say I love you.

She would smile back.

She knew this was wrong but she couldn’t stop.

When Jessica had to go out of the town, she felt alone but a part of her was happy. She felt a celebration tinged with sadness.

“Don’t feel sad. She would be back soon” he would assure her.

He would cook for her. He would wake her up. Walk with her, holding her hands. Buy her gifts.
She knew this was wrong. But she could not stop.
She knew this was it. This was love. She felt it.

She was watching Tom-and-Jerry with the butter popcorns that he had just made for her but then suddenly love took a strange turn. She felt her body was on fire.

“Am I beautiful?” she asked looking at him. He was busy with his files.

“Of course you are, my young lady” he would reply without even looking at her.

“Am I more beautiful than Jessica?” she asked
The doorbell rang.

Her question clashed with the sound of the bell and lost in the superposition of the sound waves.

He opened up the door. Jessica was standing at the door.

Kath clung to herself. She did not want Jessica right now to interrupt her fantasy.

“Hello sweetheart, me and Kath missed you so much. I love you” and he kissed her taking her in his arms.

Kath scorched in the green inferno. Her heart turned lugubrious.

Jessica came running to Kath.

“Oh my darling, I missed you so much.” She said and hugged her.

She jerked her off and went straight to her room, crying, broken. Jessica and Jason were baffled.

***

At night when Kath was in her bed, digging herself under the blanket, clinging to her heart to save it from going away, trying hard not to cry, the door opened.

“You still awake? Sleep away lady.” He said. He would come closer and would switch off the table lamp and would kiss her on her forehead and say I love you.

“I love you too” she said with a lump “daddy”

When he was gone, she could not stop her tears. She knew this was wrong from the beginning. But she was innocently just following the path of her emotions and feelings. She made a mistake. She felt guilty.

She was about to snatch away her mother’s happiness. She kept turning and tossing sides.
Sleep was nowhere around her and she felt a strong turmoil inside her. She closed her eyes and there was darkness all over.

***

Within few months Kath totally got over her obsession and guilt. She understood that it was a mere vague infatuation of a tender age. She was lucky enough to have a mother like Jessica. She confessed everything and her mummy guided her.

Jessica told her, “My sweet little angel, at your age, all the colours of deeds are same. It’s tough to distinguish between white and black, between green and red. It takes time and understanding. But this is what makes experience. You don’t have to feel guilty for it. You loved your daddy as your father but you wished someone like him in your life. My dear, love is all about your heart. Trust me; your heart is innocent and pure just like you. Don’t blame yourself ever and have faith in God who will surely send someone like your daddy for you. This is the most important phase of your age. Live it wisely.”

She was surely the luckiest daughter. She had treated every word of her mummy’s wise sayings with great importance.

She made a vow to herself that day. She promised to carry the same sort of understanding for her kids when she would become a mother.

***

”Dearest mummy,
I am sorry. I should have told you earlier but I was afraid. I did not want to lose you or him. I love you both so much. But this guilt was burdening my soul. I have to tell you about it. I am writing this letter to you because I do not know how you will react. I do not want to face your anger and hate. Mummy, I only know that he is special and I trust him. He is the second person after you who added meaning to my life, whose genuine and simple ways explained love to me. Mummy, please meet him. I am sure you will like him too.”

She turned the letter.

“P.S. Mummy I have already arranged a date for you both at your favorite restaurant at 7 pm sharp. Your dress is ready and don’t worry about me. I’ll be staying with grandpa and grandma. Love you.
Yours sweet little daughter,
Jane “

Reading the letter, Kath felt nostalgic. She shared her mother’s fate and lost her husband in an accident when Jane was just 5 years old. She is a single mother now and seeing her daughter’s caring attitude the pages of her past turned open, the reel rolled back. A tear of experience found a way down.

Doorbell rang. She got up to open the door.

Jane was standing with Jason and Jessica.

“Mummy, what do you think?” her daughter asked.

“You are such a sweet daughter Jane. Alright, I’ll meet him” she replied and hugged her.

“Mummy I love you. You are the best mummy in this world. I am sure, when you will meet him, you will fall in love with him. He will be my daddy and we would be a family.” She was happy.

The child was happy.

***