Letter to a Father

Radhika felt better once she entered the school gates. She walked through the corridors acknowledging all the passing students’ morning wishes. Her day had started pretty rough. She fought with Raj all night. Which continued till today morning when he walked out on her. She knew he wasn’t gone. He’ll come back from office tonight, when they’ll sit down and decide about their future relationship.

“Good morning Radhika” Vinita wished her as she entered the staff’s room.

“Good morning” she replied halfheartedly.

“Is something wrong?” she enquired, edging closer to her once Radhika was seated.

“The usual” she replied with a sigh. “I think it’s over. Finally.”

Vinita didn’t seem to share her relief, on the contrary, she was worried for her friend. “What about Sakshi?”

“She’ll get adjusted. Anyways she’s just five, I don’t think it will affect her much. Yes, he will be gone most of the time, but he’ll of course spend time with her.”

Vinita wanted to tell her how wrong she was. “But he’ll be moving right? Won’t she need her father?”

“If he doesn’t care, I’ll raise her like she didn’t have one.” Radhika replied, her voice trembling with anger.

Vinita very well knew that that was her cue to stop pressing on. She has known Radhika long enough to understand her anger. She sighed and quickly changed the subject.

Radhika was happily married for 7 long years, with a beautiful five year old daughter. She was very well satisfied with her job as a high school English teacher. Everything was perfect until Raj came up with moving to another city, where he thought there’ll be better opportunities for him. Radhika refused to give up her comfortable job. They have been arguing for months and neither of them was willing to bow a little for the other. That morning Raj declared his decision. He was moving, whether she wanted to come with him or not.

After the bell rang for the first period she walked to her class. The only time she gets to let go of her worries is when she is teaching, where most of the stories seems to have a happy ending. It felt like a perfect world to be in.

She entered the class and was greeted with a warm good morning. After taking the attendance she remembered they were given an assignment. She was telling them about the book ‘Letters from a Father to His Daughter’, which were a collection of letters written by Jawaharlal Nehru to his daughter. She had asked them to write a letter to their father as an exercise for the creative writing class.

She walked through the class peeping at each note books to see if everyone had attempted it. She came across one that piqued her interest.

“That’s good writing Avantika” she said as she picked up her notebook. “Why don’t you read it in class?”

Avantika hesitantly walked to the front of the class carrying her notebook. Radhika retreated to the back to watch her. One of the things she encouraged her class was public speaking.

Avantika took a deep breath and started.

Dear Dad,

How are you? I guess I don’t really need to point out how much I miss you. You used to be always busy. Always away, it gets boring when it’s just me and ma. It used to be so much fun when you were around. Remember that vacation we had in Manali? You were so worried that I’ll catch a cold that you covered me with sweater after sweater, and how we used to play catch inside the house and that time that we broke ma’s favorite vase? Catch was banned from the house after that. How you tease ma with her cooking, telling her it needs more salt more that and this even when it’s perfect. I miss those days. We used to hang out a lot. There was not a thing that I didn’t tell you.

I still remember the day I brought my first medal home. You were so proud but, was trying so hard not to show it. You never did. Thinking that that would make me over confident. You were my greatest critic, when everyone else says it’s perfect, you would point out its most minute mistakes, maybe that’s what made me such a perfectionist.

I remember the day I came home crying after a fight with my best friend of five years. I remember telling you, ‘Dad it’s over. It will never be the same anymore’ for the first time in my life, I had felt alone. But I was wrong. You took me for a movie that day. Just you and me, and we talked in the dark. You told me to never lose hope on people. However hard they hurt you, don’t let them go. Because it might be hurting them more than it’s hurting you. You told me to let go, to smile at her tomorrow like nothing ever happened, and if she still cared, she’ll come around. And that’s just what happened.

Today, when I’m feeling alone, I remember all the things you told me. How I should never let people go.  But still there are days that I cry alone. When ma’s too busy, when I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to, I think of all the fun things we used to do together. The occasional movies, walks in the morning, discussions over dinner, how you would sneak in a novel during exams when ma has strictly prohibited it.

I miss all the laughter we used to have, when we used to be a family. Now I feel lonely even in a room filled with people, because you were the only person who could read me like a book. I always wondered why daughters were more attached to their fathers, well… now I know why.

Yours

Avantika

 

The class was in a dead silence. Radhika waited for someone to start an applause. Surely everybody would agree how touching it was. But no one uttered a word as Avantika walked back to her seat and sat down.

“That was really good, I’m sure your father will like it as well, please show it to him will you?” Radhika told her as she walked near her. By then the bell rang. She reminded the class about their next assignment and walked towards the staff room.

She couldn’t stop thinking about the letter. How true it was. In everybody’s busy life, we tend to forget our children, always busy with work, conferences and meetings. We never wondered how it would affect our kids. Wouldn’t they want someone to talk to every day about school? About who they met? About the new friends they made? Whether they had a fight? Wont they want someone to tell them what to do when suddenly they feel all alone? Radhika couldn’t even remember the name of Sakshi’s best friend. Was it Pooja or Priya? She really needs to have a talk with her today.

Radhika hoped with her heart that Avantika would show that letter to her father. The PTA meeting is coming next month. Maybe she could meet with her father and ask him herself.

Radhika sat at her desk, Vinita came after a few minutes. She noticed a smile on her face that she hadn’t seen that morning. “What happened” Vinita asked her friend as she sat on her chair. Radhika explained what happened in class, about Avantika’s letter and how she felt about it.

“Avantika?” Vinita asked suddenly surprised at the mention of the name.”The Avantika in your class?”  Radhika nodded, “I really want Raj to read it, he is a father too, and he should know what a daughter-” she continued, but suddenly stopped when she looked at Vinita, who still didn’t seem to have believed her. “Why? What is it?”

“It’s just that” Vinita said, “Avantika’s father died when she was very young, about five or six”

Radhika stared at her friend speechless. “What? But what about all the things she wrote?  The time she spent with her father? It seemed like he was just busy or moved away!”

“I know” Vinita sighed “I don’t think she even remembers him correctly. I think she made most of those situations on her own, may be they were things she wanted to do with her father, the things she wanted him to tell her. That’s so sad” Vinita said and then looked to her friend who was staring blankly at her desk, not having the heart to believe the truth.  She recalled the letter, and realised how the whole letter was in a past tense and the look on everyone’s face when she had finished reading it.

“I think you should have Raj read it” Vinita said at last.

“Yes, I should” Radhika replied, and then she placed both her palms over her face and cried.

__END__