Family Short Story – The light has gone out of my life
Photo credit: chilombiano from morguefile.com
(Note: Image does not illustrate or has any resemblance with characters depicted in the story)
“Oh dadi ,I won’t be coming home this vacation,I have planned to do training here in Bhubaneswar”,said I.
The lady on the other side of the phone was my grandmother. Her voice saddened on hearing this,but she collected her strength and said,”Its ohk!! I wish you could come to attend the marriage ceremony.”
I put down the phone with the thought in my mind that the next time when I would go home,I would make her narrate all details about the marriage. I thought, ”Every time she makes me narrate incidents, this time since I couldn’t attend the marriage I will make her narrate each and every detail”,I smiled and started preparation for my semester exams. My cousin brother was to get married on 6th december,2013 and since I had my semester exams till 7th December I couldn’t attend the marriage ceremony.
On 6th December ,at about 10:15 pm, I called my mother, she informed me that dadi was not well and if her condition didn’t get any better she had to be admitted to hospital the next day. I said ,”I want to talk to her”, but mother said she was fast asleep now so I could talk to her only in the morning. Next morning, I went to give my exam and after that called at home.
Bhaiya received my call and asked,”Have you given your exam? How was your exam?”
I became apprehensive. I repeatedly asked him if dadi was well now and in return he repeatedly asked me if my exam was over. When I told him that my exam was over, his voice changed at once and sobbing continuously he said ,”Puja, your dadi left us for her heavenly abode.”
I couldn’t believe his words. I was completely shattered, broken down. I thought,”How could this happen? Was it for real or a dream? I couldn’t believe my ears.”
I was completely broken down.I couldn’t believe that I could not see dadi for the last time. It was just for my best friends that I was able to recollect my strength and accept the fact. Somehow, I arranged tickets for Patna.
I left for Patna on 9th December. While I was in train, scores of thought flashed across my mind. I never thought my dadi was mortal. I believed she would be there for many more years to come . But I also had dozens of repentance. I repented for not loving her more.I repented for not telling her how much I loved her. I repented for the times when I was more interested in facebook than listening to her talks. I repented for the times when I could have slept a little less and talked with her a little more. I repented for the times when I could have spent the evening helping her with gardening rather than spending my time leisurely. I repented because now I could only repent and regret as she was no more with me.I remembered few lines said by a Sir W. Scott-
“Like the dew on the mountain
Like the foam on the river
Like the bubble on the fountain
Thou art gone and gone forever”
My grandmother showed me the way of life. She was stubborn but not impolite, sometimes orthodox in her views but not thoughts ,one wouldn’t fear her but would be in awe of her,one couldn’t discuss with her laws in physics,the atoms in chemistry,the calculus in maths but except these want to discuss politics or any current affair in india or any general topic you were welcome to discuss so though she was not educated enough but not less informed, old but not less enthusiastic, confident but not proud, gentle but not feeble.
She lived up the quote ,”Knowledge is proud that it knows so much, Wisdom is humble that it knows no more”
She shared with me our family history, how difficult it was for my grandfather to bring up his four children successfully and marry off her three daughters and how proud he was of his children. I feel it is very important that children know the struggles of their parents and grandparents because it gives one a reason to live, to succeed and make them proud. I still remember her waiting at my bus stoppage for me, teaching me how to cook, telling me to be bold, careful and cheerful. I know she missed my grandfather very much who had left us 20 years ago in his eternal sleep, but she never let the sorrow overshadow her responsibilities and used to prepare food packets with her own hand to be distributed among the poor on the death anniversary of my grandfather. She knew all the rituals of marriage and other ceremonies but had the ideas of the rules in cricket too.
Apart from these my dadi was a full on comedian, her sense of humor still fills our memories with lot of smiles and laugh. The first expression of her that comes in my mind when I think of her is her giggling face and how she used to make fun of me. Ironically, she was the third child of my mother. She needed care and attention and it return she showered all her love on her family. She was a shield for the family.
Like a child she was excited for every little thing. She sang “Jingle Bells” with us on Christmas, waited eagerly if mother was to prepare some new dish, would be awake till 12 to wish each one of us “Happy New Year”, wished to eat delicacies on week days especially, teased me and my younger brother, played pranks ,equally tensed as we in the times of our result and then she was more happy than we were when the results were good.
She had cried on hearing my 10th result because she was afraid of my marks in mathematics but I managed to make her happy by scoring 100 in it. She was a happy go lucky person who wanted to live each moment of her life cheerfully and fully.She loved the old hindi songs but appreciated the new ones too.
She had told me the she received proper school education only till class eight and after that she was taught by a teacher at home but she surprised me with her words one day. It was a cold winter night and my whole family was watching a cricket match between India and Pakistan. Before starting off the match, Prsident Gilani of Pakistan had come to meet the players.We all were silently watching when my dadi said,”Musharraf jab President tha to kuch lagta tha par iske body language me gravity nae hai”, and the whole family had their mouth wide open. The ease with which she said these lines,the more difficult was for us to believe she had said it.
Then I realized it was all because of her effort. She was an avid newspaper reader and so had build up her vocabulary. She was an inspiration. Not that she was perfect and without fault but it’s also true that she was seldom wrong.
With the advent of new year 2014 I know a void has been created in my life but I know I have to bear the pain of separation. I wish her soul may rest in peace. But the main aim of writing this piece was to tell all that if your grandparents are with you, do give them lots of love, they are invaluable, the more you understand them the more blessed you shall feel, do include this in your new year resolution.
Khushwant Singh has described his relation with his grandmother beautifully in one of his works.It’s an inspiration. It’s heartbreaking to think that I would have to spend the rest of my life without my dadi but I know I have to. Somehow I feel she is still with me, watching over me and ready to scold for my faults. I miss in every small thing I do. Her smiling face always lingers in my mind.I wish somehow this was a dream and the spell would break soon.But I have one wish and I hope and wish that God would fulfill this wish of mine that I want my grandmother back ,I need her,I don’t ask God to break his rules of mortality but just wish if there’s any rebirth I want my grandmother to be born as my daughter. It’s all I ask of you.I hope you shall fulfill this.
Amen.
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