Family Short Story – Mother You Don’t Think Of Me
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I am Kadambari, lived in a very small town and spend my childhood with many languages speaking kids and family. I had very simple lifestyle in those days, going to school and coming back to home to look at my mother who was my idle and in my eyes she was most beautiful.
I came into teenage that time we moved to bigger city where everything was huge and so many people and their shrewdness I could not understand at time as I was lived in small town where whatever the people said was real and no hiding words or actions.
I slowly started to grow with these people and learnt my life first lesson never to believe in what you see. I became friend with one of college girl who was shyer than me and still I had her with me and she whenever we need to go out both went out together and our families were fine with this.
One fine day I was being fallen with love and everywhere I could see Rahul and liked the way he spoke to me or sang songs to me and asking in between his mother how am I singing?Rahul’s mother was in smile and said Yes dear you sang so beautifully no one will sing like this. I stared thinking of how it will be nice to have Rahul for the rest of my life as companion. As they say what we think it never comes true and it did happen with me also. I was married to someone else even though I never liked that man but due to my lover Rahul saying he needed more time to settle down in his life and wanted me to do what my parent decided. I walked out of Rahul’s life with heavy heart and one thing was sure I will never be able to forget him or will stop loving him.
The day I got married I was hoping Rahul will come and stop the marriage and take me with him but this was only my dream which was never came true.
I had to live with Krishna whom my parent thought best for my life and went to his home and lived. In my heart I was always in thoughts of Rahul and even though I know I will be never able to meet him or talk to him.
Some how I controlled my feelings and started to live the life which was written in my destiny. In due course of time I started leading the life as everybody does once they get married. My first child was born when I was only 22 years old and that was most best thing happened to me. I was happy to see the baby smile at me and growing made me Mother the word itself has so much meaning to it. I gave my every second every minute and day and night to bring him up. Sometimes I had thoughts of Rahul but I kept it in my heart as i know he has chosen the life to live without me, but who can tell the heart to stop thinking about him. I shifted to some other town with my baby and Krishna. Where we met new friends and life moved on. In this period I got sweet baby girl who was so adorable with curly hair and choppy cheeks and pink in color. I was again blessed to have beauty of motherhood.
Like this years went by I had some problem with Krishna as he was very bad in finance managing and always found a way to keep things which he thought would be luxury. He was not very good position to handle such a life still wanted that made us go into deep trouble. I was always explaining to him he has to stop and save it for the rainy days and he never adhered to my saying. He did what was best interesting for him. I was once again made to work to meet the expenses. I did it even though leaving children alone at home without anyone taking care was the more painful feeling for me I could not explain to anyone in the family. In everyone’s eyes Krishna was the best man who took care of family so well. In real he was very bad person and always treated me badly in front of children he said things which no mother will like it.
One day I thought its enough by that time my both children were in teens. They were going to college and I thought they will understand the mental trauma I am going through and will support me of the decision which I took to be separated from Krishna. I was wrong my boy did not like it and he said I should wait for my daughter to get married and settle down. I said no it is my final decision to close this relation once for all. I came to know during this period through one of my close friend that Rahul got married and had one child and he was very much happy in his life and when I went to meet him he said that whatever life we have chosen we should be content in it and move on with our respective life. My daughter met him and asked him when you loved him so much why you got married to a person whom you never loved.
I filed divorce and waited for the courts to do the proceedings. In the meantime I met one person, Sahil who was very young of age to me. Still something was in his talking and behaving which made me go for him. I told this to my daughter who was in teen age going to college and supported me in dealing with life. She also started working and we both lived together. I thought she knows that I talk to Sahil on and off and at times she liked but sometime she was very possessive of me and did not wanted me to go near any person.
I also kept it that way, one day while I was online talking with Sahil and current went off and she read the text messages which I sent to him.
She shouted at me; how can you do this to me? Don’t you think of me or brother what you are trying to do with this Sahil? Do you want to have sex with him? This is the reason are taking divorce? I will never want you to talk to Sahil anymore form today. She kept on shouting and saying all sort of things. I wanted to tell her think in a cool manner but she was on rage did not listen to what I was saying. She pulled the phone and called Sahil and Shouted at him saying ‘don’t you have any girl of your age group? Why you are behind my Mom I know you want only Sex with her and you want to use her? I will make police complaint about you that you are the one who is behind my Mom and spoiling her mind? I wanted to shout back to her but I could not as she was in other room and in full rage and said to Sahil Never in future call my Mom or come near to her?
When she came out of room I wanted to tell her that me and Sahil will never do anything which will spoil her image in front of society. Sahil knows his limitations and he knows about my feelings for you as mother which is more important to him. I know I can’t make her understand that my relationship with Sahil was not mere physical one it’s beyond anyone to understand, he was there with me when I needed mental support crucial moments of my life. He stood by me in those moments and I knew it very well he loved me and he knew I will never be living with him under one roof not because of difference in the age of me and him, but because of my daughter and son. Sahil knew it very well what my feelings was I will put their happiness first in my life nothing more will affect me. I just do not get this straight is this how come she don’t understand or see my eyes what I feel for Sahil. Or is it that she is insecure of something. One thing is very clear that as per her mind only man and women has physical relation nothing else as he is younger to me that was her main problem. How could I even get this Love feeling for Sahil. She knew it very well at the time of crisis in our life Sahil stood always there for us not even my parent or my siblings even cared to ask me if I was in need of anything, more over it is not that they were not well off but they were never thought I will be need any help. I am not the person who goes and asks for help on my own. I inculcated this character of mine into my both kids that given any point of time never take any help financial with relatives as they only laugh at our condition and never feel the pains or sufferings.
The days passed into years and my son got married of his choice and I was very happy for him as he got settled in his marriage and in the meantime I was shuttling between court and my office the case was going on.
My daughter who has got the best and more desired job of her choice and she was happy that she did what she wanted in her life. Later some years still she will ask in-between to me do you meet Sahil I said no as you don’t want me to. I told her the day you feel I should I will and she said look Mom I am afraid you will leave me and go to Sahil and never come back. I said No, this will not happen even though I want to live with him but you happiness counts a lot to me and Sahil will not do which you don’t want us to do. I always wish you settle down in your life with a lovable man who will make your life more content and fill it with happiness. She said lets and she kept on working on her career. One fine day she came and said Mom I like a man who is working with me and I feel he is older than me and I am sure he will understand me better and he will be mature. I said, sure lets meet him,
We both went and saw Kabir he was very good looking man and he liked my daughter very much he said so and made me comfortable by saying you don’t worry aunty I will take care of her as you did till this date. I will love her and give her all the happiness which she deserves.
My daughter was very happy in her eyes I could feel it she really found a man of her choice who will surely be her side in every time. She got married last year and now happily living with Kabir. I go and see them now and then. Many times she said Mom do not leave me and go. I knew the deep meaning of her words and I just smile off and say I know. She is only thinks that as she do not have father figure to support her or be her side as daughters are more close to father. But I am there for her whenever she needs me I have lived her dream and made her to come to this point in her life where I can proudly say she is well settled.
I am the same living in my own dreams and believe in destiny if me and Sahil are meant to be together it will be done if not then it will continue next life… I pray to god that at least my wish come true in next life as I found Sahil whom I was looking all these years of my life but when my half life is gone now. I also understand that he has his family and he has to go with them. As they say if LOVE is yours it will come back, if it does not come back.
I hope one day my daughter will understand my love for Sahil was pure and true.
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28-11-2013
Kalyani
