No Sacrifice too large

The caretaker of the primary school was checking the doors to the classrooms when he heard the sound of footsteps behind. He turned, the movement slow and painful courtesy of a bad hip resulting from an injury several years ago. It was the PT teacher, Meena. She was approaching him in a hurry, a grim look on her face.

Stopping before him, she took a deep breath before speaking. “Your mother called me a few minutes ago. She wants to speak with you. She says it’s urgent.”

The man looked away without a word. He was young, in his early thirties. Though he had gone through college he had never aspired for a more fulfilling role in life, and of all the staff in the school only Meena, an old college-mate from the same town, knew the real reason.

She put a hand on his arm, afraid he might walk away before she could convince him. “It’s urgent.” She said again. “I don’t know what has happened but I do know she wouldn’t have tried to contact you otherwise.”

It had been close to fifteen years since he had spoken to either parent. Without a phone number to contact him, his mother had tried several times over the past few years to get in touch with him through Meena. Though he had made the PT teacher promise never to reveal where he worked or lived to his parents, Meena had never stopped trying to persuade him to receive his mother’s calls. He had never once agreed. For the past year or so, his mother suddenly stopped calling Meena, and now out of the blue, she was trying to reach out again.

Her grip on his arm tightened. “She was crying, and she said it was a matter of life-and-death. I told her you would call her back. I promised.” She held out her phone. “Listen to what she has to say and then- ” She shrugged. “ – do what you think is best…” She saw him frown and knew he was going to refuse, so she cut him off. “It’s the only way I’m going to get off your back. Call her – and then I’ll leave you alone.”

He took the phone after she dialed the number and stood with one hand on the railing. His eyes were focused in the distance as he listened to the phone ring.

It was answered on the third ring, and he heard his mother’s voice for the first time in nearly fifteen years. She sounded tired, weary, and yet the first thing she said was: “Son – how are you?”

He let out his breath slowly and then said: “After fifteen years, you call me to ask me how I am?”

There was a ruffling sound on the phone, as if she were moving the phone about. “It’s your father: he’s dying.”

He maintained his silence.

“My God, can’t you say something!” There was despair in her tone.

“What do you want from me – money? I don’t have any to spare.” His voice was lifeless. “You came to the wrong place…”

“It’s not money. He’s too far gone for that. The doctors say it’s kidney failure. He’s comatose now, almost…”

“None of this interests me in the slightest. You should know that. I’m actually quite surprised you called.”

There was silence. “Don’t you want to see him before – before he dies? You should at least make your peace with your father after all these years, after all that has happened.”

“Let me think about that.” He said and then he hung up.

Taking her phone back, Meena tried to say something but he put a hand up to stop her. “I made the call, Meena. Now leave me alone.” He swiveled around and shuffled off to check the next door.

###

A day later, on the way home from the school he stopped at the government hospital. The hospital had been their lifeline for as long as he could remember. Never well-to-do, unable to afford private medical care, it was all his family had ever had in this town. Inquiring at the entrance, he found which wing his father was admitted in and he went to the elevator.

On the first level, he got out of the elevator and stopped in his tracks when he spotted his mother. She was standing at the nurse station, listening to a young lady in a white coat with a stethoscope round her neck. Her hair had gone grey and her shoulders drooped, and she was wearing the brown dress from all those years ago.

He walked up to them. They both turned to him. “Well – where is he?” he said gruffly.

His mother’s red-rimmed eyes lifted to meet his. “He passed away this morning.” When he said nothing, she gestured to the physician. “This is the doctor who was looking after your father…”

Turning to face him, the doctor offered her hand. “I’m so very sorry for your loss.”

He waved her hand away. “No need to be sorry, doctor, it was not a loss of any sort for me.” He noticed the hurt look on his mother’s face. “Let’s not make any effort at pretense, please. We severed all ties 15 years ago.”

“It was so very long ago.” She faltered. Even through the pain on her face, it seemed a fresh wave of agony coursed through it. “I thought maybe you had had a chance to reconsider…”

“Well, you thought wrong!” He said with a sneer. “I didn’t actually want to come, you know. My initial reaction was to stay the hell away, to punish him with the same silence he offered me all those years back when I needed his support. Later, I decided I would come here, so that I could stand next to him as he lay in his bed, to see the pain he was going through, maybe the pleading in his eyes – and then turn my back and walk away.” He shrugged lightly. “I guess I was too late…”

Tears ran down the woman’s cheeks. “Fifteen years back you ran away from our home and never returned…”

“I had to leave!” He snapped. “He left me no choice. All because of some money…”

She made no move to wipe away her tears. “He had kept that money in the bank; it was for your degree course. He was so proud of you when you finished your college. He took out the money from the bank. I still remember his words that night: it’s a lot of money, but he’s our son. Nothing is too good for him, no sacrifice too large for his sake. And what did you do: you squandered it… you finished it all in a week of reckless partying.” Her grief finally overwhelmed her and she left them, sobbing.

“You’re not being fair, you know.”

He turned to the doctor who had been standing there with them, listening.

He sized her up, as if seeing her for the first time then said: “What do you know? You’re just some doctor fresh out of medical school. I wasn’t even 18 when he kicked me out!”

“You walked out.” She said quietly. “And actually – I do know. The time that I had to spend with your father these last few days, I got to know a lot about him. He had a lot of say, and well – maybe he knew his days were numbered. It was not my intention to pry but he seemed to want to talk. I listened.” She sighed. “It was the way you blew that money away. It killed something inside him that day when he found out.”

He stared at her face but when he spoke his voice was controlled. “I was only 17 years old. I made a mistake. Teenagers make mistakes all over the world, every day. And parents are supposed to understand, accept and forgive their children. And then be there for them. But my old man wasn’t. When I returned to the house and he found out, he never said a word, and from that day on he never even showed me his face. I had to leave. He left me no choice.” He repeated.

“What did you expect him to do?”

“He should have tried to understand.” He said bitterly. “It was only money, after all, and you can always earn money.”

The doctor was staring at him, and there was a startled expression on her face. “Do you know how your father raised that money?” And when the young man shrugged, face conveying the same uncaring manner, she let out her breath, staggered. She looked aside, shaking her head slowly. “My God, your father truly loved you…”

His head jerked toward the doctor at her words, and there was a trace of a frown on his features.

“The price a parent pays…” She murmured, and finally raised her eyes. “Your parents were not well-off, as you know, and with his lack of education, your father was never able to get a steady job. It must have been the only thing he could do to get you the money…”

The young man saw tears in the doctor’s eyes, and he was suddenly very afraid.

“His left kidney.” The doctor told him softly. “For the son he loved, he allowed his kidney to be removed – and then sold it…”

__END__