Redemption :For my mother who passed 7-11-14
Family Short Story – Redemption :For my mother
© Anand Vishnu Prakash, YourStoryClub.com
As I sit and think about all the emotional roller coasters you put me through growing up, it’s hard for me to forgive you. I start to think it is possible and than the memories flood my mind of all the anger you bestowed apon us. You took your anger and all of your hurt out by making us feel as though we were’nt worthy of your love. You asked me at one point in my life , what did I want from you, I told you all I have ever wanted was a mother, and I so clearly remember your response to me , it was I can’t be that for you.
To this day I replay that in my mind and always will wonder why. As now you can’t answer my questions because you are no longer with me. You adopted me when I was 2 but if you could not love me what was the point. Everyone thinks so highly of you and said how wonderful and loving you were. I painfully say I never saw that nobody knows what you did to us, they all think what a saint adopting 3 girls thats a blessing in disguise.
But what they do not know is how you would lock us in our rooms, or how you would take me by the hair and swing me around . What they don’t know is how verbally abusive you were saying we have never done anything you can be proud of or telling me I was going to hell because I got pregnant. What they don’t know is all the painfull years I have spent with this working through my mind of why did I deserve any of it. I was just a child you belittled me and made me feel like I would never amount to anything . You had me believe that I was not worth the effort my heart still aches even though you are not with me now.
How do I heal, how do I forgive you when you constantly put me through this. You were supposed to be my mother and love us unconditionally with no strings attached how come you could not do that , how come you did not love us, you never said it you didnt show us. You acted fake when friends and family was around you were so pleasant to be around when they went home the real you came back. I know my questions are left unanswered and maybe one day I will be able to forgive you.
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