I stood there, petrified with shock. I could not believe my eyes; my heart was pounding and breathing heavily.For a second I thought I was watching an action movie. The car just blew apart, fragmented into pieces with a loud roar, the human bodies thrown out like spring balls. Blood on the road. Fire. Everything scattered. The bodies were red with blood and their colour turned to black, ashen. Roasted. I was wet in sweat, my clothes sticking to my body and dizziness overwhelming me. I felt a surge of emotional trauma controlling my body; I fell down on knees, unable to control my body, unable to think about anything else but what has just happened. Words died on their path and failed to come out. Only tears came. A shiver ran down my body.
I was standing just across that ice-cream parlor, on the other side of the road. I saw their car flying in air, bouncing and having a crash landing. My world stopped. The watch on my wrist was ticking but for me time stopped. The traffic, the crowd, and the people everything came to a standstill. I kept telling myself, ‘this can’t happen to me.’ But it happened. Fate played its role. The car tossed and rolled on its back and then bang, boom, a great explosive sound, the car caught fire. The sound broke the walls of my heart. Why was I alive? My heart was blazing with indignation.
I felt a force, mechanical, my reflexes told me; hands on me trying to pull me away. I was vehemently opposing it. I wanted to run towards the corpse. The stretcher carried them. The force pulled me back, took me away. A strong wild breeze blew the sand on the dusky road. It was screeching in sorrow with me. I felt my heart was pumping fear. I was terrorized. My whole body had frozen. I could feel the droplets of water on my face; gods above were crying with me.
I only wished to wake up all of a sudden, gusting heavily, and thank the almighty that it was just a nightmare. I prayed that my mom and dad would be there when I wake up, but how false my desires were. This was actually happening. My mom and dad, they were dead. The violent fire had engulfed them.
“Go away. You people just don’t understand me. I hate you. Just go away from my life” my last words to them. My own voice now echoing in my head, playing a recap, I felt disgusted. And now I hated myself. They left me. They did what I told them.
Tears ran down my cheeks. I just could not face the reality. Somehow, I just could not hold onto the fact that now on there would be no mom to wake me up, to cook my favorite food for me, to worry for me, to shout at me when I won’t keep my things on their respective place. There would be no dad to buy world’s things for me, to take me for rides, to hold my hand and guide me, to protect me. There would be no parents to care for me and love me endlessly and expect nothing in return. My angel and my hero were gone.
I hated myself. The doctors, they would just not let me see them. The accident had damaged their faces. I did not have the strength either to see them, to face them.
There was a time when my world revolved around them. My dad would bring chocolates for me. And my mom would always be there to take my sides. They taught me, fed me, loved me and I grew up as an unfaithful, rude and thankless monster. I argued with them, avoided them, hurt them and told them to get out of my life.
Now, I want them back; my dearests wish. I wanted them right there with me. I wanted to tell them that how much I love them and I am proud to be their son. How much I am thankful to them. The single thought that I am alone now, an orphan, doesn’t hurts as much as how suddenly my parents walked out of my life, that too, for forever, never to return; it gives me a pain; a pain that I would have to live with throughout my life. I am ashamed of myself. My house seems to be an unknown place without them. I have become an outsider in my own house. I miss them. I will miss them. I will miss them forever.
I did not respect them and love them when they were around me. I took them for granted. But now, when they have given me what I wanted, my privacy, my own space, I realize that they were the most important people in my life, they were my air and now there is just vacuum and every second I am dying from the burden of my own guilt.
Only for once, if my parents above there would hear my voice, I would shout aloud from the highest tower, “Mom and Dad I LOVE YOU!”.