The Horoscope

I want the truth

But not this one,

That’ll make my life

Barren for ever.

 

I want the truth

That brings hope

And life in me

And in my family.

 

I hate the truth

That takes your life,

And I believe a lie

That bring you back.

 

‘I’m sorry child, as I see in his horoscope he isn’t going to make it this time. A ruby on the ring finger might help, but not for too long. This winter probably will be his last. The Mercury and Saturn are positioned in such a manner…’

Romu stares at the astrologer’s mouth blabbering something which is not only esoteric to her seven year old mind but also hardly audible. Only one sentence is reverberating in her ear—her brother isn’t going to survive. Ronu, her twelve year old brother suffers from a congenital heart disease and ever since his little sister’s young mind is exposed to awareness of this cruel reality, she knows that her brother isn’t going to give her company for long.

Ronu’s frail body, his frequent visits to hospitals are representative of this harsh reality which parents of these two very close siblings have somehow accepted with the ineffaceable pain and agony creating a permanent lump in their throat. They have lived their twelve years with a constant apprehension of facing a severe storm that would appear any time and take their child away. Their lives of gloom and bitterness had just once been interrupted by a pleasant shower when they were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. The birth of their daughter has reduced their grief to some extent. They’ve found a new meaning in their lives.

The arrival of a little sister has given the elder brother a new lease on life too. Incapable of performing regular brotherly duties like playing with her or taking her to the market or going to a fare together, Ronu who is often confined to bed entertains his sister by reading from story books. Her brother’s incapacity to go for any outdoor adventure has been well accepted by this affable child and she enjoys cuddling up with her brother on his sick bed listening to stories, stories from a world she knows or stories from a world she doesn’t have any idea of. Looking at these blissfully happy children, their parents too feel some momentary consolation and these precious few moments are carefully engraved in their memory.

In spite of Ronu’s weakness, his parents have put him in a local school, though a little late hoping to render him some company and scattered moments of happiness accrued thereafter. The school authorities aware of Ronu’s illness have been kind enough to ignore his poor attendance and the boy is lucky to have a set of well-meaning friends. When Romu is old enough to go to school, she travels a few miles more than her brother to study in a school which is probably the best in their small town. Her mental and physical capacity to handle tougher situations have prompted her parents to enroll her in this school—a difficult decision for this lower middle class family burdened with heavy medical expenses.

With a lot of will-power as well as support from his teachers’ kindness, Ronu has been able to reach the fifth standard. Punctuated by intermittent bouts of illness, Ronu’s student life has been one hell of a journey that makes his parents both proud and sad. Romu’s short career as a student, on the other hand, has been a story of success only. Sadly, because of her brother’s poor health, she can never be ecstatically happy with her result and her proud parents too find it difficult to celebrate it; apparently the doting brother is the happiest one who is always there to give her a hug when she brings her radiant report card. Romu doesn’t want any gift; she is blessed to have a brother like him. God has been kind to her.

Ronu’s visits to the hospital have recently been more frequent and Romu has seen her mother shedding silent tears in front of her shrine. From her father’s talk with a few of his friends and discussions with her mother, Romu has at least guessed that her brother’s condition has worsened. She has overheard that Ronu might have to go through an operation which might cost them a fortune. She has also observed both her parents staring at a long yellow piece of paper blankly or even heard them discuss to take this paper to somebody whom they call an astrologer.

One day when her father is away and her mother is busy in the kitchen, Romu tiptoes to her parent’s room in search of that yellow paper. She finds it in front of the idols her mother daily worships. The paper looks like a hidden treasure puzzle game and it’s so illegible that she leaves it there not realizing what to do with it. Later, that day she sheepishly asks her mother about the paper, although she is almost sure of not getting any suitable response from her. Surprisingly, her mother explains and tells her that it’s called a horoscope and only an astrologer can read it and predict one’s future. Perhaps her mother is too tired of this long journey of agony and wants to share with her own flesh and blood, howsoever little she is, the grief regarding the imminent tragedy that is going to befall the family.

Despite her young age Romu wants to do something for her brother, a brother who has been the nucleus of her short life, a brother without whom her life is empty. She vaguely knows who to approach with his horoscope. While going to school every day, she sees a man sitting under a banyan tree surrounded by a lot of people and from what she hears from her friends and seniors from school she guesses that this man can foretell one’s future. In fact, some of her seniors have gone to him just before the school result and are happy to find out that their results have turned out exactly the way he has predicted. He must be an astrologer, Romu ponders.

Without wasting time, Romu rushes to her mother and describes the astrologer and suggests that they should go to him immediately so that he can read Ronu’s horoscope accurately and find a positive solution for her ailing brother. Romu is almost sure that this astrologer will help her brother regain his health. With a wry smile her mother explains how this profession of astrology teems with con artists who dupe innocent and vulnerable people. It’s always better to go to an experienced and reputed astrologer instead of just going to anyone on the road.

Romu is a little disheartened. Unlike her mother, she doesn’t believe that this astrologer is no good. If that is so, why are so many people crowding around him every day? All of them cannot be fools. Despite her mother’s adverse comments she plans for a secret meeting with him. Meanwhile, she is trying to save as much as she can from her modest pocket money. She has to pay the astrologer. Besides, she knows that her brother might have to go through an expensive surgery.

Romu’s prize distribution ceremony is coming up. She has to go alone because her parents aren’t in a mood to accompany her. But she has to go. She’ll get more books. She has always bagged good position in the class and has been rewarded for academic excellence. And being a methodical child she has been storing all her books neatly in a box so that they go through no wear and tear. By now she has about ten almost new books and with this year’s prize, it will probably increase to fourteen or fifteen. She is getting prizes for general proficiency and also for getting highest marks in three subjects.

As decided, she goes to her school on the scheduled day. She is greeted not only by her friends, but also by her teachers. She is a popular girl in her school, both for her brain and for her lovely nature. She is carrying her old books as well and keeps them with a friend of hers once her name is called. Yes, right she is. This year too, she is getting a number of books. She is in a hurry to accept them from the chief guest. Once the rituals are done, she collects all her books, including the old ones and rushes to an old book store. She has got everything ready, all her homework done accurately. She has information that this bookstore gives good price for old books if they are in good condition. Romu needs money, a lot of money, but for the time being she needs the astrologer’s fees. She has managed to steal her brother’s horoscope from her mother’s wardrobe.

When she arrives at the store, she gasps for breath. She has to reach home quickly before her mother suspects anything. Like a grown-up she haggles with the shopkeeper for more money for the fifteen books she sells. She can’t afford to be cheated just because she is a kid. Ultimately, she manages to get about three hundred rupees and happily she rushes to the astrologer. She has absolute faith in him. He will definitely find a way for her brother to get cured. Romu has always prayed to God for her brother’s well being. Not a single day goes by when she doesn’t sit in front of her mother’s shrine for her brother. She doesn’t ask for anything for herself. But lately she has been a little disillusioned with God, not getting any response from His side. For a seven year old kid talking to a non-existent being, however benevolent He is, is very difficult. And she has, therefore, pinned all her hopes on this astrologer who is as tangible as her parents. She now believes that if anybody in this world can do anything for her brother it will be this astrologer and not those stupid doctors under whose care her brother suffers so much.

Surprisingly, Romu doesn’t see any crowd today surrounding the astrologer. May be because it’s already past one in the afternoon and the summer is quite intense. She first hands him a twenty rupee note and then shows him his brother’s horoscope. The astrologer, a little taken aback by the presence of a kid, first requests her to bring her parents. Romu can’t disclose her parent’s scepticism regarding this astrologer. She has grown overnight. She now knows what to say in front of whom. She finds some excuse for her parent’s absence and pesters him to read it and predict her brother’s future. Moved by so much entreaty coming from a child close in age to his own daughter, he gives in. He reads the horoscope very carefully.

‘You’ve to tell me the truth and nothing but the truth.’ Awakened by the cry of the child, the astrologer looks at the kid; he sees no hope for her brother. Once again he asks for her parents. Once again his request is denied. The astrologer now concocts a lie. Mysteriously, this lie doesn’t sound convincing; even a little girl like Romu knows that he is telling a lie. The astrologer is lost for words, words that help him survive in this profession; lies that enable him to flourish in his line of work are all lost shortly. Only the truth and nothing but the truth comes out from him. And he reveals the terrible truth.

On her way home, Romu ponders over the prediction. All her faith in the astrologer is gone within a second. She now agrees with her mother that most people in this profession are con artists and aren’t experienced enough. But why should he con her with a bad news? Even a girl of Romu’s age finds it suspicious. She now vaguely remembers that the astrologer was talking about a stone that her brother should wear; it’s now clear to her that he must have tried to extract money from her family. Now she is convinced that she has been duped. Her brother will be alive, he can’t die.

Romu is now close to her house. From a distance she can see a crowd in front of her house.

Apprehensively, she starts running. She drops the horoscope on the road, but she doesn’t pay any heed to it. She reaches home and pushing the crowd enters the house. She hears her mother’s cry. She rushes to her brother to give him a warm hug and finds him lying on his bed his eyes closed. If he is asleep, why is her mother crying? Romu reaches her brother and tries to wake him up; she has so much to tell him, how she has sold all her books for his operation, how she has been duped by the astrologer and so on and so forth. Her brother doesn’t respond. Romu nudges him again initiating nothing but wail and cry from the friends and relatives standing there. Somebody in the room forces her out. But she insists on staying there with her brother. When after much persuasion Ronu doesn’t get up, Romu screams at her mother,

‘Ma, why did you say that the astrologer is phony? He has just told me that dada isn’t going to survive long. But I believed you and hoped that…’

The little girl can’t finish her sentence. She breaks down.

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