When He Came Back

Three of the so called modern women of urban India were sitting at the lawns of Royal society when Sandhya’s driver entered the premises. He took out Sandhya’s car from the parking area and waited for her near the lawns, overhearing the familiar conversation. Unaware of his presence one of them took the lead saying:

You know I saw her driver dropping her at 2 AM last night. She was sitting at the front seat!

Second one added to the gossip by saying: what can you expect from a lady, who is unmarried at 38?

Suddenly third lady appeared alert and warned other two of approaching Sandhya. Being a surgeon could not save Sandhya from the social stigma associated with an unmarried woman in our Society. She often overheard people addressing her as – ‘Unmarried at 38’ in their discussions. They seemed to be most interested in her life and yet considered her a failure.

But Sandhya has taken things in her own stride. She knew that most of them, envious of her success cannot stand her achievements. She believed that they have meticulously shifted their attention to find faults in her because it gave them some kind of solace, even if a temporary one. But Sandhya was least bothered about both the things – their unending debates and her status of a single woman. Her job has taught her ways to keep patience, perseverance and focus on her task. In fact she lived an independent and awesome life, which annoyed her neighbours even more, especially females.

However, it wasn’t so from the beginning; more than a decade ago she did want to get married and had her own set of parameters for choosing a guy. She had similar feelings like every other girl of that age and did fall in and out of love. After the first and probably the last serious relationship ended, without any choice Sandhya tried to accept the life’s course as it is. Nonetheless deep in her heart she knew that she has not come out of it even after months have gone by. She often contemplated about the possibilities that can compel somebody as honest as Tapan to act so insane. Eventually it started affecting her focus and being an aspiring surgeon she knew she had to let it go. The only respite or option whatever one can say for her was work and she immersed herself into it as much as she could. Initially it felt as if she is running away from the truth but soon her mind was trained enough that her work became her life. She started to believe in her acceptance of life when she began to meet with the boys her parents often suggested for her but every time such meetings have led to an unusual discomfort to Sandhya. Somewhere deep down Sandhya, knew the true reasons behind rejecting every guy she met but was unwilling to come face to face with the full picture.

Ultimately after a year of exhausting evaluation sessions full of uneasiness and embarrassment she strictly told her parents not to search a groom for her anymore. She sounded adamant when she said to her mom: the whole idea of validating a person on my parameters in few meetings is weird and an injustice to the person as well.  I don’t think it’s such a good idea to assess compatibility with someone in just few hours. If ever marriage has to happen it will happen but it can’t happen like this.

Her mother appeared worried and said timidly: but you are a woman and……

AND WHAT? Sandhya interrupted her in between. Please stop worrying about me maa. I can always take care of myself. Her mother was habitual of such reactions from Sandhya and always accepted her but marriage was one thing for which she pestered Sandhya often. Still that day she did not say anything further as she could sense Sandhya’s determination and annoyance. Whereas Sandhya with somewhat unknown and somewhat known facts did not notice her mother’s silence and left the room.

One can reasonably assume that any educated person like Sandhya will be a fool to hold on to some events of past and let the present life hurt even then a fight between mind and heart continued in her as she remained insistent on her decisions. With time life became routine and smooth. Her rising social status as a good surgeon kept questioning from people at bay, which helped her in focusing better. With time she was left alone with the surgeon in her while the woman in her was lost completely. She became more and more silent and only her work spoke. Her patients admired her for her honesty and sincerity. She attended to them with full dedication and listened to them as if she had all the time in the world for them.

That afternoon also she was doing her usual job when all of a sudden she heard the announcement in her OPD consultation room: Dr. Sandhya please go to operation theatre No. 3 as early as possible.

Following the announcement a nurse with a junior doctor entered the room. Mam it’s an emergency.  A man in early 40’s is having intestinal obstruction and was brought to the hospital in critical condition. Senior Dr. Batra had suggested immediate surgery and advised to contact you.

Saying so, the nurse had handed her patient’s file. Dr. Sandhya stood up from her chair and very politely asked for an excuse from the patients sitting in OPD, waiting for their turn. Humility was another quality she possessed.

As she walked towards the OT with the junior doctor she tried to go through few reports in the file, which nurse had given to her. There was a scan report showing obstruction in the intestine as if some foreign object has completely lodged it. Sandhya immediately understood the gravity of the situation as any delay could have led to gangrene or could even be fatal. But as she reached the OT in surgeon’s clothes with mask on her face, she was struck hard by the reality. It was Tapan, her special acquaintance. She again took the file from the nurse and read patient’s name, it read – “ TAPAN DESHPANDE, Marital Status: Single”. She was lost for a moment but the very next, she knew she had no choice but to do her job and pass the test of destiny.

Without any delay she wore the gloves discussed a few things with the gastroenterologist present in the OT and requested anaesthetist to take the lead. Tapan due to his pain did not focus on Sandhya. Moreover only her eyes were visible, which now with pair of glasses on them had made it more difficult for Tapan to identify her. Once anaesthetist completed his job he gave the charge to Sandhya.

Nurse and the junior doctor sensed the silence in the room. Usually Sandhya chatted with the patients before surgery and always at least introduced herself to them but today she had chosen to ditch the ritual. She did not speak much with the other doctors also and channelized all her energy on staying composed and doing her job. As she moved closer to the operation table memories of the past flashed back. For one second she felt blind to the distended abdomen and was only seeing the clear and bright reminiscence of her relationship with him, which could never reach a logical end. She could feel her own heartbeat fuelling an unexpected emotional upheaval.

Suddenly the nurse asked: Madam Dr. Batra is on line he wants to speak to you.

Sandhya came out of her blindness and exercised full control on her senses. The call gave her a chance to compose herself and as she finished the call she extended her arm towards nurse asking: Scissors.

With the first incision she forgot everything and was consumed by the demand of saving human life. The identity of the patient on the operation table was immaterial. The switch in Sandhya’s state was fast and seamless to others.

It took almost 2 hours to remove the blocked part and restitch the intestine. She had also scanned the whole intestine to avoid any possibility of any other blockage. Once again she looked at his face and with some personal feelings she thanked God that he is safe. Sandhya was not sure if she is so much happy for seeing his marital status. She was exceptionally good today but it was others who noticed it. Finally she took leave from the anaesthetist after giving some instructions to the junior doctor and the nurse to attend to the patients waiting in the OPD. Immersed in memories she reached her consultation room and said: Next…

During her rounds she always found Tapan sleeping. Unlike other patients she did not wake him up but took the details from the junior doctors and prescribed medicines and other schedules to them. With every round she faced her reasons for staying unmarried; she faced the dilemma she was avoiding for all these years. She faced the lie she lived when she met other guys with the prospect of marriage and also felt guilty of rejecting them by giving some or the other reason. But today she could no further run away. Still she did not want to confront Tapan though she was impatient to know as much as secretly possible about him and his life.

Finally the day for discharge came and she could not escape a meeting with Tapan. Since he was walking on his foot now, hospital nurse has brought him into the OPD room and left to get the list of other patients in OPD. Tapan was surprised to see Sandhya and when he spoke he sounded normal yet confused.

He asked: Doctor, I did not know that it is you even when I have read the name of the doctor on my file. I thought you wanted to be a cardiologist.

Sandhya’s reply in harsh tone: Stop it, Stop it Tapan…. stop calling me a doctor…. showed how much she still carried from her past.

Suddenly she realized that he hasn’t asked anything which deserves impoliteness and she controlled herself to further answer him: yes I wanted to be a cardiologist but I could not get admission so chose surgery instead.

She knew that she was a little rude but was able to control herself as she instantly got back into the doctor’s suit and said: Let’s do the final check-up.

In complete privacy as she moved her hands on his stomach her body shivered, it trembled even more because Tapan was now aware of her identity. Tapan pretended to be ignorant and closed his eyes. But the eyes shut from the outside world, took him back through the memory lane and images of Sandhya’s reactions to their first kiss, first hug, and first touch started flashing in his mind. Both of them were still in the hold of past and destiny was playing its role to prove it to them. After the check-up when Sandhya was prescribing medicines to Tapan, he could not resist asking: Will you mind coming home once?

This agitated Sandhya and she wanted to question him – why? Why shall she visit his place when he has left her without any communication? But her position as a doctor and hospital’s set up did not allow her to unload her mind. To avoid being seen by nurses and juniors as anything other than a doctor she asked for the address and evaded further personal conversation.

Next Sunday she had given leave to the driver and drove herself to Baramati, a small village near Pune. Throughout the way she kept on thinking what must an ambitious engineer be doing in a place like Baramati? She remembered his zeal when he was in Pune working as a senior engineer in one of the reputed firm and dreamt of studying further and going abroad to make it big. Her retrospection brought back memories of their courtship days, which sent the same shiver down her spine even today. She felt the same sensation, the same intensity but also some frustration.

When she reached the address Tapan had given, she was confused as there was no house till the point her vision went. But there she saw Tapan. He was standing waiting for her. Dressed in white shirt and a casual pant, he still looked dashing. He came to the car and asked can I get in? My house is after these farms and someone has to escort every first time visitor. Sandhya unlocked the car door as Tapan seated beside her. For the first time, it was Sandhya driving and Tapan sitting beside her.

On reaching the house, Sandhya was surprised to see such a fine construction. There were two SUVs parked in the entryway. On entering she saw three girls in the veranda. They all appeared to be in 10 to 16 years of age.  Sandhya did not expect this and honestly didn’t like that scene. Somewhere in her heart she had come with some hopes and the last thing she would have wanted is Tapan to be married. Then immediately she recollected all the details about Tapan that she has gathered during the week and convinced herself that they can’t be his. His medical file stated marital status to be single and moreover they look too older to be his daughters. While Sandhya’s mind was busy in discussions Tapan invited her inside the house and introduced her as Dr. Sandhya to his mother. His mother was old and needed help to move.

Now Sandhya understood that all these days why no one visited from family to the hospital to attend to Tapan. The girls from the village were innocent and Mother was too weak. It was always a servant, who would come to check on his health. The day he was discharged also, only a driver Sandhya has noticed in his SUV. Though Sandhya appeared professional and very normal but her eyes followed Tapan as much as they could during his stay in hospital. By the time he was discharged she knew that he is a rich man and has made big in life.

With an unstoppable flow of thoughts in her mind she sat down on the large sofa while Tapan took the chair in front of her. Though the girls added to kiosk in her mind but they gave her a clue to start the conversation. She asked Tapan: Yours?

And Tapan said yes, now they are mine.

Sandhya could not understand the use of word ‘Now’. Before she could ask anything further Tapan said: Do you remember the day when you left for Singapore to present your first conference publication?

Sandhya said: Yes how can I forget it, it was the last time when we had seen each other.

Tapan could sense the heaviness in her voice but he didn’t try to console her and continued, soon after I reached back to office after dropping you at the airport, I found a message from my neighbour saying my sister has expired while delivering her third daughter. She was already a widow then and was living with my mother since her husband died. The news had made me rush to the town and on reaching there; I found that no one from her in-laws family had come for the funeral. After her husband’s death they did not want to anymore take the burden of two daughters and kind of disowned her.  For last 6 months she lived with the hope that if a son is born they will probably accept her.

You remember I used to visit Baramati more often in those days, just to support her morally. After the cremation and other ritual, I knew that there is an inevitable situation I have to attend to. My mother being too old and attached to the place was not ready to leave it and I could not leave her with two kids and one new born alone here. I had to give in to the need of the time. Since then I am living in Baramati. Initially it was tough but slowly I found out ways to continue with my passion for a good career. I started with revamping the way we did agriculture here. I took the charge of my land, worked hard and with my mother’s blessings I succeeded. So that is life now for me and I have no complains but please forgive me that I did not contact you as I thought that you may get emotional and leave your career, which later you may regret.  Today an age old burden has gone Sandhya. I can’t ask more from life.

Sandhya sat still, motionless, head bent low, tears rolling down her face, nose red and a feeling to sink herself in Tapan’s arms. Sensing her state Tapan continued: Today my decision of going away without communicating to you may sound trivial and emotional but it has taken over my mind then. Since the time I realized that I must talk to you, I am living with a huge burden. Please forgive me Sandhya! Please!

By then the eldest girl entered the room to inform that Kaka has served the lunch and waiting. Sandhya was like a rock as tears rolled down her face. Hearing the young girl she composed herself and smiled at her. That day Tapan’s Mother did not join the guest for lunch, which was quite strange for the two young girls but the elder one was old enough to sense that there is something special about this guest.

During the lunch, Sandhya hardly spoke to Tapan. Moved by his honesty at one end she was content that her faith in him is intact while on the other she did not know how to handle the emotional surge spilling through her eyes. Her burden, her complains, her reasons all were coming out and flowing away with her tears. As the lunch got over and she decided to take leave Tapan came out to see her off. When she was about to enter the car she asked Tapan: if I think about marriage now, will you marry me?

Tapan had not expected this, all he wanted to do is to talk to her and lessen his burden. He stared at Sandhya with blank eyes. She took his hands in hers and said: I understand your limitation and your worry about my career but I believe all of it can still exist.  We have come long way together. Tell me Tapan, are you not single till today because you still love me?

Tapan did not say anything, but his eyes full with tears of joy conveyed the message to Sandhya. There Sandhya saw the elder girl staring at them from the Window. Sandhya called her out and pushed a piece of paper with her address into the girl’s palms and said: come home next Sunday with your mama and bring your sisters along.

Standing with the maid at the roof top Tapan’s mother continued to gaze at the leaving car till it remained in her vision, Thanking God for everything, including the intestinal obstruction.

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