Short Story- I committed suicide: She wanted me to live
© Anand Vishnu Prakash, YourStoryClub.com
One day tired of life the silent guy decided that he does not want this pain anymore. He wanted it all to end. The option he saw was taking the road of death. He had years to live and time to fight harder. The young man just needed help but the question was who would help him. Who would pull him out of this endless pit? The boy who stick mean note would help this broken boy? The girl who would call him names? The friends who he needed most, but left him because they were all busy dating?
He was tired of being bugged, bullied, getting deserted, made fun of, just because he was not able to say a word and open his heart. No one understood that the black eyes held secrets. The sealed lips wanted to cry out loud. The tousled hairs were a reminder to him of a dark memory. He had a past which he could not move on from. The past which transformed the charming smile to a straight line, a numb expressionless face but he too had feelings.
He had seen his mother die painfully. She got hit by a car few days after she and the baby girl came back from the hospital. No one was there to here the painful cries and help her. He saw her die a slow and painful death. Her face haunted her at night; he could not erase her face from the day of that atrocious accident. That day a bit of him too died with her. He could see the resemblance every time he looked in the mirror. Now he wanted to end it for once and for all. He looked at the wall clock. There was still time for his father to come back. The boy’s dad was sitting clueless in his office and the boy sitting in his room. Knife at ready, he took a long breathe, just a slit away from getting free from all the agony. He thought the time was right. No one would know and come to save him. Knife on the wrist he gave a deep cut to himself.
Lying down on his bed eyes closed and blood flowing freely, he felt no pain other than the one in his heart. But the heaviness was increasing as if he was leaving something important behind. Just then his five year old sister entered the room rubbing her eyes asking for food. Seeing blood she panicked and started crying. She demanded him to stop the joke saying it was not funny. He took in her appearance; round face, big blue eyes glassy from tears, rosy lips quivering from crying and blond hair coming in her eyes. She kissed the cut tenderly, trying hard to fix it.
Memories flooded his mind and flashes in front of his eyes. He remembered giving her baby sister bath for the first time, her first step, her first word, her beautiful smile, the cute little pout she made when she was angry, the puppy dog eyes when she wanted something, the kiss on his cheek when he would come back home, the way she would sleep holding his arm while listening to bed time stories. But the one that made him realize his mistake was when she got her knee scrapped. He remembered kissing the wound and promising that this would fix it. She learnt it from there. She needed him.
And the realization dawned on him that his baby girl does not remember a figure that she could call mother, their father was too busy trying to make the ends meet. He was the only one she had. He did a blunder, he was leaving her alone. He wished to take his action back; he desperately wanted to take it back. She wanted him to live. He wanted to live for her. But it was too late. He tried to keep his eyes open and stay alive till their father came back and save him. But the sobs were fading, he could not hear them anymore, he could not look at his sister anymore. He tried to say he was sorry but not even a word came out and he died. He committed suicide when she wanted him to live. The irony was when at last he figured out that there was a ray of hope, he was standing in dark for forever and could not see the ray again.
May be time may get hard and you may feel defeated but your ray of hope is somewhere around you. You just have to close your eyes and open your heart. There would be people to whom you are the only support but realization will hit you when you have taken a wrong turn to the one way road. Suicide is never a way out. Next time when you pick those pills up or put a knife on your wrist, take a deep breath and think about the one to whom you are a ray of light. Their only sunshine. There are people who love you. If you feel that they are all dead then think once would they want you to die? Do not fail them.
When you decide to take the easy way out, you push someone who loves you in your situation. After all if Harry would have lost hope seeing his loved ones die one by one and given up on life. If he would have committed suicide then it would have been an era of Lord Voldemort all over again. These were his last thought.
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