Family Short Story – MY GIRLFRIEND
Photo credit: cohdra from morguefile.com
My head lay in her lap, as her soft hands caressed my head. She sang softly to me, a song I didn’t know, but her voice, like the sweet winter sunshine kept me enchanted. Suddenly somewhere a sharp noise, a furious beeping began. She kept singing and I kept on trying to drown the beeps beneath her voice till my eyes opened.
The dream that seemed so real, so magical, had been incinerated by my morning alarm. How I wished to throw it across the room, but I didn’t want to move, lest the dream should end. I tried closing my eyes but alas it was lost. I pressed the stop button and lay back savoring the last fragments of bliss.
After what seemed a decade, I pulled myself up from the bed. As I sat up, the oddly placed night lamp, brushed against my forehead. At the very same place, where she would kiss me on my forehead, to wake me up. The touch felt icy cold yet intense like a fire. Two months had passed since the last time she had woke me up in the morning. For as long as I could remember, she always made it a point to wake up early enough to make my tea and softly wake me up from those million dreams I saw. But now I only dreamt of her. I tried to concentrate on my forehead, savoring the touch, as memories flooded my mind, but soon it faded into nothingness. Just like her, just like her………..
Each action initiated in me, a storm of emotions and memories. How I missed her, I wish I could tell. Pushing myself up, I went to the kitchen. I had barely anything left to live for, since the time she had gone, but today was what had pushed me on.
It was my birthday. The last day at the hospital when we were together, she had beckoned me near. She could barely move, as a multitude of tubes surrounded every square inch of her body. Speaking was a herculean task. As I drew nearer, she whispered, her voice having lost all its vitality, “this…..letter……open on…..birthday…….no sooner…….”
No longer being able to see her pain, I place my hand on her mouth, shushing her away. I wanted her to sing, to kiss me, to speak to me, but I could not see her suffer.
As I walked towards the dining table I saw the letter. I took it, my hands shivering, but I could not the muster the courage to open. This would be our last conversation. As usual we had fought, cursed each other at times. But today even a scold would do. I stared at the letter, hoping it would speak, but silence prevailed. I walked towards the stove to make some tea, I saw the cup that had our photo on it. She seemed so full of life, so alive, so happy….. As I pulled the lighter from its stand, my hand hit the cup. It fell and shattered.
I bent down, frantically pulling the pieces towards me, as I fought back tears. But alas it was beyond help. As I picked up the last piece I saw a wide crack separating us. I took the piece with her photo and placed it in my pocket. I got up, a lump tight in my throat, as I started the gas. As I turned around, my eyes caught the calendar. As if frozen in time, it showed the last month. Marked on it, in colorful pens, were the dates and time of her chemotherapy. So meticulously managed, till she was admitted for the last time. She had a knack for perfection, the markings on the calendar a proof of that. As I drew closer, I saw the a little heart marked on the 3rd.
It had been our last date. We would go out for dinners, just me and her. I could see the pink floral dress she had worn that, I could smell her perfume just like I had that day. We had to help her to the table, but it had been worth it. She would look at me as I talked on, at times for ages, but never complain. It was not until latter that she told me, how she loved our dates. How I wish I could take her out one more time……. As the calendar came back in focus one more time, I saw the 23rd. The fated day, when she breathed no more. Emotions whipped me like leash and in one swift movement I threw the calendar down. Tears welled up my eyes and I sobbed unabashedly, letting the turmoil out. I let the tears roll down my cheek as I hoped for her soft hands to wipe them away, but they fell away…………
I decided I could wait no more. I tore open the letter and placed it in front of me. As the tears made blots on the paper, I read……..
Dear Son,
I know I would be long gone when you read this. I wish we had more time together. I really loved you, son. I know you loved me too. For you called me your dearest and your best girlfriend.
I smiled in spite of the tears. I remember how she blushed when I call her my girlfriend, she would blush. She would say that people would call me a psycho. But since childhood she had been my world. I knew placing her above all made her happy, and that was what I cared. I read further…..
Word pale away when I describe how much you meant to me, cared for me. U were my biggest victory. The day you were born, a tiny bundle of joy, I saw the cord that connected us. I felt your little heart beat, when they placed you in my arms. I knew a part of me was born, a part of me held in my arms. I just want to tell you, that physically I may no longer be with you, but a part of me lives in you. My memories live in you, the closest I could be to being alive. I live through you, my son. Please don’t saddened yourself over my departure. I will always be around. Whenever you miss me, just close your eyes. I will be there. Please don’t miss me….
I could read no further. How would I not miss her? A ball of fury rose in my chest as I realized that she had left me in spite of her promise of being around always. She had left me stranded with a piece of paper that said, be brave?!!
Suddenly anger overcame me, and I threw the letter in the stove. But no sooner had it caught flames, I rushed to saw her last memories. But by then the damage had been done, for only a piece remained.
As I turned it round, I saw, three words I her sloppy handwriting…….
LOTS OF LOVE,
MOM
I looked up and silently thanked her. Yes mom, this was what I needed. Only love. I folded it and kept it my breast pocket, where it would remain close to my heart. I had lost my mom, but I got up, for deep in me she lived on forever…………
