“Seema, get up. Past is always past. How long you will remember past incidents and give pain to yourself ? Have you ever thought when we see you in this condition, it gives us how much pain ? Why can’t you be normal now?”
My mother said this with gloomy voice when she entered into my room and saw me sitting alone.
Then she rushed out and turned to my dad who was stuck with his computer and said, “Aji,you tell something,how long she will be like this?Neither she eats properly nor does she do anything else.It’s been more than 15 days but ………My heart melts to see her”.
“Life is not the name of resting but moving. Problems and challenges always hold the life’s hand but have you ever seen any corpse to struggle with problems ? We human beings are supposed to move on in all situations”.
My dad now uttered these philosophical words and entered into my room.
“Daughter, please, don’t punish yourself in this way. It will spoil everything.You must forget everything happened to you. Everyday is a new day of one’s life”.
Before I could say anything , he added,
‘Start a new life and forget everything, for the sake of yourself, for your parents. Even if possible visit somewhere, you will feel better in new place, enjoy new ambiance and then focus in your study.’
Can I do this ? I thought in my mind.
Is it possible for me to do study whose one intimate friend is in custody,the other one is in hospital and third one is with broken leg in an unknown city? The group on which we would proud a lot has become the subject of mocking.
The group which would compel others to be envious to us,now became the center of mocking and arrow of taunts. But……………..with which way it can be explained to my family ?
How can I tell my anxious mother that now it is quite difficult for me to be the part of my college again in which we had all fun together. Every moment of college life in canteen, classroom will remind me those great days.
All of a sudden my mom yelled at me, ‘oh my God,what you are thinking again?’
This is enough .now listen to us. We both have decided.Tomorrow we are sending you to your Nitin uncle, go and have some great time over there and come back with a lively spirit.
‘I told you several time; I won’t go anywhere. I am happy with everything, please leave me alone.’I shouted.
‘Everyone commits mistake,you also did. We fall with stroke but they also teach us to stand up again and move ahead. Life gives you several chance to get your subsequently destination.’
‘I am not in the mood to listen lecture.’ I yelled again.
‘Hey Bhagwan, my love is lecture for you,my life is really messed up.I can’t believe , my daughter is saying this. Why am I leading such a waste life in which my love is considered as lecture? It would be much better to die rather to live such a crap life.’
And she started sobbing.
‘Now what’s the matter to cry.’ I hate this emotional drama.I muttered and said,’I am saying , leave me alone for some day.’
‘We are not denying for it.You can stay alone, but just visit your uncle once, spend some good time over there then we won’t meddle anymore, you are free whatever you want to do. I just talked with your uncle already. You have been always comfortable with him. He is of your age, so have a lot of fun with him. Is that OK ?’
‘Fun’ this word appalled me once again. Do my parents consider my life revolving around this world only? Therefore they always focus on it.(To an extent they were right on their stance. I did nothing except it till date.)
‘Is your silence saying yes? Do you agree with it ? Alright, I will call your uncle today.’
‘Even you must go tomorrow morning.He will pick you up at station.’ My mother answered her own question which was an order too.
‘Finally I made up my mind to change the air for a while.
The next day I have the train on 10 am from Jaipur to Mumbai. It is not a long journey but I don’t know why does every expedition intimidate me now?
I was restless whole night and thinking – I am going with now desire. Can I forget everything? Can all past incidents be faded away from my mind? Will I have a good time over there? Will I bother my uncle too as I did my family?
With all these unanswered questions I got asleep.
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