The Joy Within

Here I am standing in front of my grandparents’ house. Thinking about all the fond memories I have shared with my brother here. This is a place I consider a home away from home. My grandparents are always willing to listen to whatever it is that I have to discuss with them. They are such loving and caring people. I miss them so much whenever we have to return home.

They are the reason I have so much joy within my heart and soul. The love they share with my brother and I is too enormous to describe. I will never forget the fun and joy I would get being here during those summer months. We couldn’t hardly wait until school was out, anticipating on being on the farm with our grandparents. These are the happiest days of my life. The things I experience just being here with my grandparents will never be forgotten. They taught my brother and I things that we will always cherish.

The smell of the fresh air always make me feel so alive and vibrant.
It is as if I have so much energy to burn. I love running up and down the green wooded path and smelling the fresh roses.It is so fascinating to be in this place and to enjoy all the beautiful things nature have to offer. Living here taught us a lots about nature and God.

We learned a whole new way of life. My brother and I learned how to grow our vegetables and it was fascinating to us both. This is something we will never have the opportunity to experience in the city. Mom brought us here today and I am amazed at all the beauty that is surrounding me. That is why my mind is thinking of only good thoughts. Things that bring the joy within me causing me to have a smile on my face And joy in my heart.

I feel good whenever I think about all these precious memories. They mean so much to me. These are memories I will live with the rest of my life. They will never be forgotten. This is something valuable to me and I cherish every wonderful, joyous moment that I have been able to experience. My grandparents keep the inside of their house just as spotless as the outside.

That is why I am standing here now admiring how the lawn is so green and beautiful, trees everywhere. I always climb them whenever I come. This is my place of solace. Getting away from anything that is troubling me at the time. Climbing up in the tree, looking up at the beautiful clouds in the sky.

Staring at the clouds takes my mind off of what have transpired at home between us. Erasing all the fussing and screaming out of my mind. It is so peaceful sitting in the tree looking up here. The birds singing their lovely songs. One of the sweetest melodies. Putting me in a daze whenever they sing. My mind is captivated.

I feel relaxed and at ease. Sitting here in the tree. Counting all the chickens running around in the yard. I feel like I am in a different world. This world is not crowded, with people hustling and bustling walking back and forth. Waving for taxi drivers to stop and pick them up. I am never alone in New York,

Staying here in the country with my grandparents is different. Everything is so quite and serene. At night time, all I hear is crickets and that sound is pure bliss to me. love hearing it. Staring at the peach trees in their yard was sheer delight. I love to eat them too. I recall eating too many. and got sick.

My grandmother warned me not to eat that many again. She would always say “Eat in moderation”. “Don’t eat like a hog”. “”Eat maybe one or two and that is enough for a young girl to digest” “Don’t be so greedy”. “Then you want have to worry about getting sick”. Of course, I would bow my head and say, I am sorry, I want eat that many again.

She would remind me that I had to save my appetite for dinner. The food she cook is always delicious. My brother and I would gain at least an extra ten pounds during our stay.
Mom would get so upset with grandmother. She would suggest she not feed us so much fattening food.

That is why she was so chubby when she was a little girl growing up. It took her time and years to get the weight off. She don’t want us to have to go through all of that. Grandmother would only shake her head and tell her to shut up. She didn’t know what she is talking about.

“That mom was meant to be fat anyhow”. “She was not an active child”. She would just stay inside and read a lots. Which is nothing wrong with that. “I prefer you to have been like your daughter Kathy. She is very active and so is James. They run, play and have fun whenever they come to see me. Sometimes, I have to call them in for supper.

Mom face got pale and she gave grandmother a strange look. She uttered slowly out of her mouth. Mom you don’t let them just roam and go anywhere they please do you?

Grandma gave her a stern look and said, “Listen Becky, if you don’t want us attending to our grandchildren and do not trust me, I suggest you find someone else to keep them”.

“We raised you and you are still here. We didn’t let anything happen to you, did we”?

Mom hesitated, held her breathe, then slowly uttered out of her mouth, “Why of course mom, the reason being is that I stayed inside most of the time. You and dad didn’t have to worry about where I was. I did not sway out of sight. You don’t know where Kathy and James could be roaming to”.

Grandmother, stomped her foot and made a sharp remark.

“Now you listen to me Becky, enough of your smart talk. My grandchildren are in good hands with us and they both know how far to wander off. We have warned them. If they give us any trouble or if we can’t find them come supper time, back home to you they are going”.

I gave mom a smile and hugged her. “oh mom, how could I doubt someone as sweet as you”? “I know how well you and dad took care of me”. “I don’t doubt for one minute, you or dad don’t love and will take care of my children”. “Please forgive me for doubting you mom”. “I apologize”. I can recall this moment as if it just happen.

James and I would butt in and say “Hey, our grandparents always take care of us”. “Mom, you have nothing to worry about”. I am just remembering all these precious moments as I stand here in the yard. It is a magical time for me. All I can think of is the good times and the love grandparents have for us. Oh they loves mom too. But I love this special place to come to during the summer.

It is joy within my soul. There is no better feeling than being here on my grandmother and grandpa farm. “Grandpa loves us too”. He just don’t have that much to say these days. He has gotten older and his tolerance level is really low. He is tied majority of the time. I understand because when he was younger, he would take James and I all over town and show us around. He is unable now because he has arthritis and his knees bother and hurt him a lots.

Every summer my brother James and I would have to come here.
This is our home away from home. It bestows nothing but pleasant moments and fun upon my mind. I love being here and enjoy it each summer when we do come. We have no other choice but to stay with them because mom have no one else available in the city to keep us. I always loved coming to stay with grandma and grandpa.

But somehow James had a problem with coming here. He was strictly a city boy. He loved the big city lights. We live in New York city where something is always going on. A city that rarely sleeps. My brother is the reason why we are having to spend the summer with them. He was always getting into some kind of trouble with his friends. He was caught trying to steal some candy and other stuff out of the store and mom had to pay for it and she was very upset.

She immediately called her parents and asked her would it be okay for us to come stay the summer with them because James was getting out of control and she had to work and had no one else who could attend to either of us. James is the oldest, he is nine and I am eight years old. She is her only reliable source that she know of. Of course, grandmother. Being the nice, kind person she is, the answer was yes.

Mom would always make comparison between the two of us. She would put me on a pedestal which I didn’t deserve. For if only mom knew some of the sneaky little things my friends and I would do. We were rebellious also. Would bet with the boys that we could out-run them. We would be running so fast up and down the streets, pushing and shoving people out of the way. This was impolite but we didn’t care.

Just as long as we won the race but it never did work that way. The boys would always out-run us and win. This would make us so angry. They would just make fun of us and laugh at us. We always found something else better to do and just left them by themselves getting into who know what. The more we came to visit our grandparents, the
more James became settled into liking this place.

He learned how to milk the cows, feed the hogs, and even plant some seeds. He would help pick the vegetables out of the garden with grandpa. So James had found him a place of solitude here also but didn’t want me to know it. Deep down inside, I knew it, whether he confessed it to me or not.

He is a stubborn as a mule sometimes. Hate to let me know I am right.
He always want to be the winner. It was as if we stayed in competition with each other. Always trying to prove who could do something better. Which of course, it would be him. He had a big ego and used it all the times against my will. It didn’t bother me.

I had grown accustomed to his behavior and just ignored his egotism and kept on going. He would get so angry with me if I didn’t cry or get upset whenever he did something to piss me off. I would just look at him and laugh.
He couldn’t stand it when I behaved in this manner.

But there was nothing he could do about it but accept it. If he hit me, he knew my mom or grandparents would always come to my defense and he would be the one getting into trouble. He would have to be on punishment for days and he didn’t like that.

But eventually James came to the conclusion that this is the way it was going to be for the summertime. And he joined right on in with the fun and began to like coming here also. I believe James found some type of peace and joy within also the same way I did. It was the most happiest time of the season for me. We both couldn’t wait until the summertime came around. We were headed to the country to live with our grandparents.

Oh the joy we both had within just being in the presence of two loving people. Being on the farm and having a good time. Those are days to remember.

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