Santa’s Little Werewolves – Poems about Santa Claus
[Poetry of Santa Claus with Video]
In the dead of darkest winter,
Just when Santa checks his lists,
The full moon shone on Lapland,
Howling echoed through the mists.
Down in the Christmas workshops
Happy Elves ran to and fro,
But Freki Elf’s clockwatching
Gerry Elf’s on a go-slow.
It’s two months yet till Christmas,
The most busy time of year,
But our Elves can’t be bothered,
So they sneaked out for a beer.
The village was a few miles walk
All across the moors and snow.
Gerry’s plan was “grab a curry”
Freki fancied the disco.
Down at the pub, they had a few
They laughed and danced and sang
They won first prize in the pub-quiz
The whole “big night out” shebang.
But time dragged on, the moon grew full
It was time to head back home.
The Barman shook his head and said
“Be careful where you roam…”
“There’s monsters roundabout these parts
Wolves and trolls on nights like this
And they’re out there feeling hungry
Hiding in the trees and mist.”
“Santa cannot stand these creatures
So he’s offered up a prize
To anyone who meets a monster
And then causes its demise.”
The two Elves walked into the night,
Elf shoes crunching through the frost,
And they wobbled off the pathway
Then got well and truly lost.
Forests dark and unfamiliar,
Shadows shifting through the black,
A growl and then a howl and then
The two Elves were attacked!
They got nipped on their Elf bottoms!
Wolf eyes flashed an angry red.
The Elves screamed right home through the snow
And they hid under their beds…
The next full moon, a new snow fell,
Our two Elves were feeling rough.
Gerry’s ears kept getting itchy,
Freki’s voice was far too gruff.
As the moon rose over Lapland,
Beamed on workshops down beneath,
Gerry’s tummy got all furry,
Freki grew some big sharp teeth.
“You’re a werewolf!” growled Gerry.
“So are yoohooo!” Freki howled.
“We’re scary hairy monsters.
We’re in proper trouble now!”
“How can we tell the other Elves?”
“They’ll want Santa’s wolf reward.”
But as they sat there worrying,
Santa burst in with a sword!
“It’s werewolves then.” boomed Santa
“I’ve met your type before.
This sword is purest silver,
Werewolves find it rather sore.”
“It’s us!” howled Gerry and Freki.
“We got bitten on the bum
By a naughty, hungry werewolf
And that’s now what we’ve become!”
“Let me guess.” said Father Christmas
“You jumped out early for a beer.
Got drunk, got lost and met the wolf
That’s munched all my reindeer.”
“We could help you!” growled the Werewolves,
“We could try and pull the sleds.
Oh Santa please don’t chop us up!”
Santa laughed and shook his head.
“I’ve fought trolls in mountain caverns,
Serpents deep beneath the sea.
Had some bother with a zombie
Wanting reindeer brains for tea.”
“I’ve battled Martians out in space,
Boggarts down at Innisfree.
I’ve never yet been beaten
So Elf Werewolves don’t scare me.”
“In fact,” said Santa (brightening)
“I’ve had a great idea.
You could sort the naughty children
It’s far too much this time of year.”
“I’ll pass you both the naughty list,
You go through them one by one,
Burst in, growl and howl a bit,
They start behaving. Boof. Job done.”
The Elves agreed to Santa’s plan,
And he gave them the hit list,
Of all the little horrors,
Not a nasty child was missed.
They terrified wee Mark McPhee,
Who broke all his sisters dolls.
They sorted out young May McGhee
For graffiti on school walls.
Adam Jeffries got a visit,
For some very rude phone calls.
Suzy Stephens wished she’d never,
Set fire to the old Town Hall.
Right at the top of Santa’s list,
Was a boy named Johnny Stone,
Playground gangster with a business,
Selling stolen mobile phones.
He laundered money from the Tuck Shop,
He once tried to sell his gran.
There was no child or teacher safe
From his evil masterplans.
So one icy night at hometime,
Our Elves found this little knave
And chased Johnny round a graveyard
Till he promised to behave.
Then the Were Elves left for Lapland
They had done what Santa said
And left hordes of horrid children
Scarified by the undead.
Santa waited in his Great Hall
With a feast of roast reindeer,
And he hugged the chilly Elf Wolves
Then he gave them both a beer.
“That all worked out for the best lads,
You’ll be on that shift next year.
Santa’s Little Werewolves,
Spreading jolly Christmas fear.”
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with love, for Connor, Ben and Molly
You can hear a recording of this story at
