TRUST: LOST AND FOUND

“Don’t do this to me please. I beg you, please let me go.” She cried with a false hope of getting helped by some passer-by. But no, their laughter was louder, louder enough to bury her yelling.

She tried to fight; kicked her hands and legs out but their grip was firm. They passed their filthy hands over her tender body and tore her frock.

“Mommy, please help. Leave me, let me go,” she pleaded them.

“Leave you? We are not that great, sweetie,” they laughed and hovered around her and menacingly took off all her garments. The servers of iniquity went inside her and penetrated her soul. Each one had their turn.

***

7^th July, 2003. Daily News. A 12 year old girl brutally gang raped. A neighbor arrested for helping.

***

10 years later …
It was a frigid night and the darkness surrounded the town quiet early. The cold was chilling the bones and all that one could see was darkness; twinkling torches and lamps not being able to dispel the Cimmerian aura. There were stars too up in the sky and the crescent moon but still the charismatic arena couldn’t soothe the girl.

Most of the shops were already closed and streets were also less occupied now.

She had locked the shop and put the board that signaled ‘CLOSED’ in dark black bold letters. Her motions were quick as she had to reach her home by now.

There were few eyes x-raying her body and mouths uttering some indecent comments while others were busy in their own world;the girl put her head down ignoring them all and sped up.

Crossing the shops and approximately two bungalows, she reached her destination; her home.

As soon as she entered the house, she closed the door from inside, making sure that all the windows are locked and it’s safe inside.

The telephone that only rang when there was a wrong number or some shop work suddenly rang again.

‘Who could it be?’ she thought.

She walked towards the telephone and picked the receiver with a doubt. It touched her gold earring.

‘Hello!’ she said.

‘Nalini? Ah! I am Kuber, KuberManji. Remember me?’ the owner of the male voice spoke from the other side.

Kuber Manji. All Nalini could recollect about this name was some beautiful childhood memories, a token of friendship and a fragrance of trust.

But now she had lost the power to trust, she had lost everything and the seeds of faith no more reside in her.

‘Hello!’ he spoke again, breaking her reverie.

‘Yeah I am Nalini.’ She said in a plain and resistive voice.

‘Hi Nalini. It’s been so long we haven’t met, said Kuber.

‘Yeah I know. How are you?’ asked Nalini.

‘I am fine. I have good news! We all are coming to meet you.’ Kuber said excitingly.

‘We all? Who all are coming?’ she asked.

‘Me, Pooja and Divyam. You remember Pooja, the girl you slapped when she tore my drawing copy? Well I really want to thank you Nalini for all the time you were there for me. My true friend. You are still the one whom I trust blindly.’

Trust? Good joke. Trust is the most dangerous thing. It can disrupt all your angles and all your points and then it will eat up your life, she thought.

‘Hey, are you listening?’ Kuber spoke once again breaking the path of her thoughts.

‘Yeah. Alright.’ She said

‘Nalini I am so happy that we would be meeting again. When we were small we would fight each day on silly mat……….’

But Nalini disconnected the call in between; she did not want to remember her past, even if it was a happy one. She hated her past. She hated trust.

***

After three days her house that was a lonely place, filled with awed silence beamed with happiness and joy.

Her friends-Kuber, Divyam and Pooja all brought life to this dead house of hers and changed the whole scenario for good.

‘Nalini, you are really a sport. I mean you are here helping your parents in their business working daily in the shop that too alone when you could have spent your time enjoying and doing all the fun. You are a real hero! Salute yaar!’Pooja praised Nalini.

‘Nothing much. I hardly save,’ said Nalini.

‘But still.. I am impressed by the way you have carried yourself.”

The gossip carried on and surprisingly enough Nalini was taking part in the conversation.

But the dramatic part was, in this whole conversation Kuber remained silent. The silence was unbearable to Nalini as Nalini knew that Kuber was was really talkative.

‘What happened Kuber? Why are you so silent?’ Divyam asked Kuber.

‘Nothing.’ He tried avoiding this question.

He got up from his chair and walked towards Pooja.

Pooja turned red and shivered in fear as if Kuber was a Dracula approaching her to drink her blood.

‘Miss. Pooja Divakar, I want you to stay out of my life and not to put your nose in my stuff. Don’t you ever try to do that or else this fine friendship will be gone forever,’ said Kuber pointing out his finger to Pooja and left the room.

‘I hope everything is fine with Kuber. But what is this going on between Kuber and Pooja?’ thought Nalini.

Pooja was almost ready to cry and Divyam was ready to run away being least interested in the crying sessions.

Nalini was clueless as what she should do, so she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water for the crying Pooja.

With everyone’s consent, they decided to go for a movie and dinner the next day.

The movie ended which meant that they would have to leave the AC embedded hall and walk out in the sun that has peeped in the wintery noon.

They still had the whole afternoon to enjoy.

‘Nalini I am so sorry but I would have to leave now’ said Divyam in a tensed tone.

‘Why?’ asked Nalini. Yes she did show some emotions of life now. She was sad.

‘There was a call from my office. We need to submit a project report tomorrow’ said Divyam explaining the genuine reason.

‘Oh!’ spoke Nalini in a monosyllable.

The reason was important enough and could not be ignored so the four of them went back to Nalini’s home to collect their belongings and to leave for the reason.

‘I guess I should also not stay here. Not at least when I know that someone is here to ruin my happiness and to threaten me’ said Pooja looking at Kuber.

Kuber who was already red in anger now showed some streak of blue and yellow too.

‘You too want to come, Kuber?’ asked Divyam avoiding the serious scene.

‘No. I will stay back with Nalini. Besides I don’t want to be with the whining cat’ said Kuber.

‘What? Whining cat? Do you all hear that? How can you even call me like that?’ said Pooja in a defensive tone.

‘Shut up you all! Will you all just remain quiet? I don’t know what is going on between you both, Kuber and Pooja, but is this the time to discuss all this? Its fine that you both don’t even want to face each other but why are you both fuelling?’ baffled Nalini.

At some point or the other, this lecture from Nalini made everyone comfortable. Yeah, this was the actual Nalini. Calming everyone and making things alright.

‘You are right, Nalini and I am sorry,Pooja’ said Kuber with a smile.

So after the happy ending of the conversation, two bags which belonged to Divyam and Pooja respectively were packed and were loaded in a taxi.

‘We will miss you Nalini. Really enjoyed with you’

Hugs and tears (only in Pooja’s eyes) and lots of emotional feelings were present at the gate of her house. Nalini was confused about her feelings when they came but she probably was sure that she was really very sad to see them leaving and wished if they could stay more with her.

They waved as the taxi vroomed. Nalini waving her hand till they really vanished far away in the street in that yellow taxi.

‘Nalini, I am staying back. You don’t have any problem, right?’ asked Kuber

‘No Kuber. I don’t have any problem with you’ replied Nalini.

***

At night as it was decided they went out for dinner.

‘Nalini, you know it was my childhood dream to take you out for a dinner. And finally it has turned true’ said Kuber flirtingly.

‘Is that so Kuber? I thought you were only interested in your 6^th std. English teacher’ replied Nalini.

‘No. Never. Divyam wanted to marry her so I stepped back’ said Kuber innocently.

‘And as far as I remember Divyam even proposed her saying ma’am please come to my house, my parents want to meet you’ imitated Nalini and they both started laughing.

After that perfect dinner for two, which was more hysterical and less romantic, they both headed for the house. It seemed a long way but they decided to walk and go.

‘Kuber, what is going on between you and Pooja?’ asked Nalini hesitatingly, tucking her hair behind her ear which had the golden earring.

‘Nalini, it is nothing yaar, just a silly matter. We were in a relationship a year ago. We broke up because she changed altogether and that trust was also gone. But this Pooja, she was again after me, like a ghost; checking my cell. Not letting me talk to any of the female I met during the travel. This was getting on my nerve. Besides she is getting engaged soon and the guy is nobody else but a very good friend of mine. How could I have tolerated all this? It’s such a relief that she is gone’ said Kuber.

‘That was long!’ remarked Nalini and they both broke in a laughter.

After such a long time this girl was enjoying. And she wasn’t afraid.

‘Do you still want to go home?’ asked Kuber.

‘Why?’ she asked.

‘No I mean, we can still move around. The city looks beautiful at night,’ he replied.

Nalini didn’t want to deny the proposal of moving around, she was still confused but she agreed.

Moving down the road, at night time, with someone very close to your heart, when the wind blows silently touching your skin to make you feel the ecstasy of the moment is the best thing.

‘So, your parents don’t worry about you? I mean you are here alone’ asked Kuber

‘No, they don’t. They never did. Not even before ten years and not even now’ answered Nalini looking straight in the eyes of Kuber as if searching for some answers.

‘It is not like that Nalini. You must understand their situation as well’ Kuber tried to explain Nalini.

‘Hmmm….’

After fifteen minutes of their walking, they both realized that they were lost. There was no one around whom they can ask for directions.

‘Why can’t we call someone?’ said Kuber and took out his cell.

‘Oh no man! No battery!’ he said in a frustrating tone.

‘Now what are we supposed to do?’ she asked sounding tensed.

‘Just trust me Nalini. I will find a way out’ said Kuber holding her hand.

Kuber looked around in the darkness and tried to locate a human figure or a telephone booth in the light of street light but Nalini continued to gaze on Kuber’s face, without blinking, her world stopped in the web of those few words, ‘just trust me………….I will find a way out……’.

Kuber and Nalini were walking and walking, going round and round the same areas but still no result. Nalini was just following Kuber. She herself was ignorant to the fact that why does she trust him or how could she trust him. Was it because she had trusted him once but that was long back. So was it just somehow, just like that?

Lost in her own thought’s, her heel’s got stuck with a pebble crushing Kuber’s toe and she was ready to land in a pit ahead but just like a prince, a hero came Kuber’s hand, holding Nalini’s arms and grabbing her to save her. The street light was just there for them and she witnessed a star falling from the sky. She wished the world could stop there and for once time would not fly away.

‘Today I realize why we have street lights? To save us from falling in the gutter line,’ and they both broke in a laughter.

‘Thanks,’ she said

After walking for another 5-10 minutes they finally saw a man and asked him the directions. They reached the house. They discussed about lot of things. They remembered their childhood memories and laughing hard at their sweet innocent silly fights.

Everything seemed so unbelievable and so beautiful. Nalini pinched herself.

‘Ouch! Yeah, this is real. Thanks God. Thanks a lot’ she said it in her mind looking above thinking that God will hear her.

They slept in different rooms under the same roof and today Nalini felt more safer than she had ever felt in that closed house all alone all these years.

 

Next morning when the sun was high and Nalini was making breakfast and Kuber was busy with his laptop the telephone again urged to pick it up.

Nalini ran towards the telephone and put the speaker near her ear. It again touched her gold earring and Kuber noticed the jingling. Yes, it made Kuber look at her in a stupefied manner.

‘Wrong number’ said Nalini and looked back at Kuber. Seeing the tempting gaze of Kuber Nalini’s terror returned back. She at once ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife.

It took seconds for Kuber to realize the gravity of the situation and what misunderstanding his looks has made. He too ran behind Nalini trying to explain that there is no problem and everything is fine.

But Nalini was in terror. Terror that made no sense and terror that seeks no understanding.

Every cruel laugh now echoed in her head, every animal’s image now started floating before her eyes. But she was ready this time. She would not be the victim this time. She would fight back.

‘Nalini, please, put the knife down. I was not staring, just looking. There is nothing wrong. Everything is fine. You got it wrong’ Kuber tried to explain but everything was in vain.

‘All you cruel animals are same. You all are just full of lust. You just want to destroy the life. I will kill you’ said Nalini almost losing her control and targeting the sharp edged vegetable cutting knife towards Kuber.

‘Nalini for God sake put the knife down. I am not going to do anything. I AM NOT GOING TO RAPE YOU’ said Kuber in a firm voice and held her by her arm just like the previous day when he had saved her from falling in the pit.

God knows that was it that one sentence- I AM NOT GOING TO RAPE or Kuber’s act to hold Nalini, that Nalini put the knife down. She collapsed to the floor and started crying. She was in shock.

‘Kuber, they raped me. My aunt helped them. She told me they are nice people. Go to them. And they caught me, caught me in that dangerous snare. I was not allowed to go. They raped me. They tattered my identity, my soul. I could not sleep. There was pain. I had lost everything. I begged them to leave me, to let me go but they only laughed. They did it to me. And she knew it. My aunt, she knew it. She knew it from the beginning, she did it for money. She destroyed my life. I am alone now. There’s no life or hope for me. Nobody will marry me. They stare me reminding me of my black past. I cannot trust people. I am afraid of all of them. They have done it once and they will do it again’ said Nalini crying and choking.

The volcano of her emotions and anger that was evaporating has now erupted. The tears were soothing her wounds. The anger in her voice was calming her heart.

‘Not everyone in the world is same Nalini. If you will let them stare, they will stare. If you will let yourself alone, they will know that yes you are alone and you are weak. You are not punishing them Nalini, you are punishing yourself. Walk out bravely. Look them straight in their eyes and tell them that they have got no right to judge you. You are the author of you own life’ Kuber spoke to her.

It wasn’t something Nalini was not aware of. She always knew this. But when Kuber told this she believed him. Because it was the right time and it came out from the mouth of the right person.

***

It’s been years to that incident. No one remembers it. But the words of wisdom are still there in Nalini’s mind. She is a married woman now, a mother to two kids, a wife to an intelligent and understanding husband. Her husband being aware of her past loves her so much. Though Kuber, Divyam and Pooja are happy in their respective life and would come every now and then to meet Nalini and her family to enjoy their holidays, Nalini knows that it was for this great Kuber, her truly best friend, who made her realize the importance of her life when she was living a life alone, as if in a hot and dead desert. She learned to walk confidently in that crowd. She walks out with her head held high. She has learned to trust again.

__END__