Who Am I? Chapter 3: Another Attempt
Photo credit: taliesin from morguefile.com
Finally, we left ninth class behind us and entered the tenth class. It was our board and we had to prepare hard for the examinations for I wanted to excel and prove myself but I was already in a mess. I gave highest priority to my friendship with Sachin and decided to restore everything. During the nighttime, I somehow, with fear, called Sachin and said, “If you love me even a little, then please, talk to me tomorrow at the stage in our school before assembly.”
“Alright, I’ll be there.”
I ended the call and then went to sleep. I was anxiously waiting for the next day so that I could restore our friendship. Next dawn, I hurried to the school and went to the stage. There, Shivam caught me and embraced me. I did not even know the reason. They caught my hands. I saw that Sachin had arrived in the school. He had seen me. I tried to release myself but I failed. I told them that Sachin had arrived and I wanted to talk to him but they did not let me go there. I failed once again and I could not even do anything. Our classes began and we entered the class. Sachin was sitting on the seat just in front of me. Sudhanshu said, “You aren’t talking to him. Is there any problem? Have you quarreled?” I said, “When there is no trust between the relations, the relation cannot exist.” Although I said these words, still I wanted to establish friendship. The same day, Martand, my friend arrived at my home. I told him my problem through which I was suffering. He, too, said, “I shall help you.”
“Really!”
“Yes, I’ll. But I can just persuade him to talk to you; the rest is in your hand.”
“I am gratified”
“Then tomorrow, I’ll call him at the stage in our school. Meet him there.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Then Martand departed and I, then, decided to re-establish our old relation. Next dawn, I went to the school and in the morning, I went at the stage and as planned, Martand brought him there. He said, “You called me.”
“Yes. Why are you ignoring me?”
“Listen, I cannot endure even a single threat to your life. Anyone who dares to hurt you shall be severely punished. If you are true, then bring him here before my eyes. What is your answer? Will you bring him here?”
His question made me silenced. I was speechless, out of words. I was just looking in his eyes trying to explain my thoughts to him. He seemed to have understood. He said, “Your silence has revealed the truth to me. That’s all.” I was out of words and I did not even try to stop him. He left and Martand came there. He said, “What happened?”
“Nothing, I think he understood”
“I am sure everything will be alright”
“No, it’s not.”
Then sadly, I went into the class and continued my studies. In the same way, the days passed and the month of May came. My birthday was on tenth of the May and I was very happy. Almost everyone knew about my birthday, I thought that Sachin must have known about my birthday too. On the day of tenth of May, in the school, as soon as I entered the class everyone wished me. Mohit embraced me. My heart accepted the warmth of the joy. I was happy too and my heart was anxiously waiting for Sachin’s arrival. I was seeing at the door of the class. Sachin arrived and entered the class. He looked at me too but did not wish me. I wanted to hear Happy Birthday but my ears heard nothing. The whole day, sadness ruled over me. Even when everyone was playing in the sports field during the Game Period, I was at the stage looking, with my keen eyes, at the squirrels, hearing their voices with my ears, which wanted to hear his lovely voice. Someone suddenly called me; I was startled to hear the voice. At first, I thought that he had called me but my imagination was not true. I was just daydreaming that he was near me.
In the class, I sat down with my head looking down constantly staring at the leg of the bench. Mohit came to me and asked what the problem was. I said, “Everyone has wished me except him.”
“Who?”
“The only one…”
Sudhanshu interrupted by saying, “His best friend Sachin.” Mohit said, “How can someone wish you until you tell them?” I was a bit confused. I said, “He knows…as far as I think.” Mohit said, “As far as you think but he doesn’t know. Just tell him right away.”
“I cannot…”
The day ended. My birthday, which was always a great day, turned into a gloomy one. My enthusiastic spirit lost its zeal. Even at the home, none celebrated my birthday. It was not their fault at all. When I returned home, I learnt that father had some sort of pain in his throat. He was at the bed and the doctor’s there too. Mama said, “Is everything alright Doc.?”
Doctor said seriously, “I think he is suffering with Tonsillitis. There is no need to worry. Be patient, it is all due to changing weather. He will be alright in few days.”
“Thank you doctor for coming here.”
“Everything is under control. I have written some medicines, you have to give him at time.”
I was happy too that my father was all right but what doctor said about the weather, the words didn’t went down my throat. I still thought that it was summer and no weather had changed then… I, at first, thought that the doctor’s fraud but then turned my mind that he knew the best since he was doctor. Then at the nighttime, we ate food as usual and I, too, laid myself on the bed and slept. Next day, in the school, as usual, we studied but something special happened in Biology Class. Our Biology Teacher, she was really my ideal, Ms. Preeti Sharma ma’am, announced that there would be a Biology competition amongst the students of our class and class eleventh and twelfth. I was so excited and I could even feel and see the latent happiness and excitement of Sachin too. I acted as a stimulus for me to prove that I loved Biology. She also said, “The competition will be tomorrow and I think it will be helpful for all of you too.” I decided that I would not prepare rather than that I would see how much I knew in Biology. I think I knew nothing but still I wanted to test myself. Everyone returned home and at the home too, I told everyone about that. I was over-excited for the contest. In the nighttime, when I went to sleep, I was thinking about the contest. The imaginations of the contest got images and transformed into a dream. In the dream, too, I saw that we had won and Sachin gave the whole credit to me but the sweet dream was overthrown when my mother woke me up. I shouted, “Mamma, why did you wake me up? What a good dream that was! I wish it will be the reality.”
“Dreams of morning become truth. It’s something that our elders had told us.”
“Really! Then I wish the same too. May my dream become true?”
I went to the school and time passed and then the time came for which I was anxiously waiting. Students of Class twelfth entered our class and we stood up to welcome them. Our teacher commenced the contest. They asked the first question. We gave the answer of the questions. For almost every question, we had an answer but not all. Then Sachin asked, “How many types of Jaundice are there?” I knew the answer but the students of class twelfth could not answer the question. Then he revealed that there are three types of Jaundice, which are Hepatic, Extra-hepatic, Hemolytic. I asked another question, which was – Name the hormone that is synthesized and secreted by Osteocytes – the bone cells. They did not knew the answer, even our Biology teacher did not know. Then I said, “Osteocalcin.” We were about to win the contest. They asked, “From which cells, RBCs are synthesized?” I said, “Mesenchymal Stem cells.” Nevertheless, they said it was wrong. Even our teacher supported me but they still insisted that it was wrong. Then I asked another question, “What is another name of Bone Marrow?” They did not know the answer. I said, “If you have read the Hemopoiesis, you must have read it too.” Then I said, “its Myeloid Tissue” This was how we won the contest. I learnt sundry things in a good contest. It was a good experience. Our teacher further told us that next day would be our contest with our section ‘A’ students of class tenth. I was excited too, to have a clash with them. They teased me by saying wrong words, which they should not. Due to my physique more precisely, they always called me a gay. I could not endure that but still I did not say anything wrong for them. I believed in humanity rather than caste, creed, custom or gender. Next day, our contest began with our opposites. About them, I had heard that they were a sort of bad students who were not a student but rascals. Many of my friends told me that they were engaged in bad activities and such kind of students came to school only to spread indiscipline and defame the school. They drink, they smoke, and they were involved in sexual acts. Oh, my god, that was too much, speaking bad words and abusing others were like their right and left hand. Anger resided on their nose and abusive terms in their oral cavity. My goodness, what kind of humans were they. They neither should be called a student nor was a human, their behavior was like animals. Now the contest began, everyone fired at each other dozens of question but as the contest progressed, they began to show their wildness. They began to hoot and did not have any ear to the words of our teacher; I was enraged so I stood up and said, “Why are you shouting? Are you animals?” The class became silent and our teacher said, “From the next time, I would never organize such a thing.” I agreed with her. When the contest ended, the school bell rang and everyone left the school and departed for their respective homes but I did not know that they were planning to fight me. Just at the moment, I stepped out of the school, one of them said, “He arrived, he arrived, what’s next?”
I was shocked what they were about to do. Sachin said, “There is nothing to worry about, you just go home.” I still fearfully asked him what happened. However, he did not tell me and said, “Go home right now.” I could not do anything but to follow his command. As I was walking, another boy, who was not so healthy, thin, with dark complexion, came to me rushing. I asked, “What happened?”
“How dare you to call us animals?”
“What the hell?”
“I shall you end you right here at the moment.”
Suddenly, Sachin came rushing and stopped him. He said, “Mayank stop. Beware of me, don’t dare to do anything.” Sachin caught Mayank. I said, “Sachin go now, I’m all right. Do not quarrel here.” However, the foolish Mayank, he stubbornly said, “How dare he to say such thing?” One of those boys took me away while Sachin and Mayank were there. I said, “Please, do not do anything to him.”
I was requesting that boy, I was so scared that tears came in my eyes and that boy, too, agreed and said, “He is our friend and we will not do anything wrong to him. Do not worry about him.” My friends, too, dropped me to my home and remained with me. When I returned home, I sent Martand to check whether everything was all right or not. Martand went and after about five minutes, he returned. I anxiously asked him if anything wrong. He said, “there is no one and do not worry. He will be good.” As he said with such a confidence, I was relieved. Martand left and I went into the home and changed. I was thinking why they did that and then I realized that the word ‘animals’ stabbed their heart. They were just foolish; we are after all animals however intelligent, if anyone calls us animal then there must be any reason but they were…disgusting. On the other hand, I thought why he helped me. Although he despised me, yet he saved me. I was confused why he did that. That day I realized that I was wrong. I realized that he just pretended to hate me but deep within his heart existed love for me.
This time my determination was strong, so strong that none could break it away. I created my email id at Facebook and sent him my friend request. Although I was not eighteen and it was wrong, still I did that only to restore everything. I wrote, “I want to have a new fresh restart, a new beginning.” I expected a positive reply but in reply, I got ‘I will not restart till you tell me the truth.’
“How should I tell you the truth? I have deleted all of the messages that he sent me and the person was none but my own friend whom I made my brother. He sowed the seeds of hatred between us. Believe me, I am innocent.”
“How could I believe you? You are still lying. I won’t restart till the truth is revealed.”
“Please, Please, Please, a new, fresh beginning…And I promise none will be able to break it away.”
“Yea, none can break it but you.”
“Never ever in dream, I could dare to break our relationship. So…”
“I’m ready”
“Thank you, thank you very much. I promise that I’ll never, never, betray you.”
“Ok bro.”
“Bro.? What do you mean by it?”
“I mean you are not only my friend but also like my brother.”
“Okay”
Then our conversation ended. I was too happy, so happy that I could not describe it in words. I knew what kind of serenity it gives to our heart when our friend patches up again. Mamma said, “You looks happy today…what happened?”
“Yes, Mamma, I’m too happy.”
On seeing me happy, Mamma too, smiled. I embraced her and cried, “I am happy today.”
In the night too, on eating the food, seeing me so energetic, my parents were extremely happy. I was glad that I got world’s best pleasure. It is one of the best moments of life when your parents are happy and the reason is you. I slept and the next day, on Facebook, I greeted Sachin and then we went to the school. Although everything was good then, yet I could not talk to him openly. That day was the drawing competition and I did not have a pencil to draw. I asked Devyani if she had any. She said, “I gave Sachin a pencil. Take it from him.”
“Okay” I was hesitating how to say that. I went to his seat and said, “Sachin…”
He very gently said, “Yes…” I felt something that I could not describe but there was something in his word. I said, “I…need…Umm…”
“Spill it out bro.”
I rapidly said, “I need a pencil, have you any?”
“Only a pencil…why were you hesitating? Here it is…” He gave me the pencil and I thanked him. Then I happily went to the Activity room for the competition. After all everything was all right between us. I attended the drawing competition. At home when I returned, I sat on the bed and said to myself, “Everything is alright now, Sachin is talking to me and my attempt is successful. I think he is still angry with me but I cannot tell him the truth.” Then the phone rang and I attended the call. I thought that it would be Sachin but it was someone who betrayed me.
He said, “So, Have you succeed?”
“Yes, I have succeeded. Let me tell you something right now, if you moved even a single wrong step, giving me one reason that you might have hurt him then I will end your tale permanently.”
I ended the call and went to the bed. At that time, none was at home. Again, the phone rang, that time I was enraged and I attended the call. I said angrily, “Didn’t you listen what I said right now? Don’t call me again.”
A familiar voice came and said, “Hey, it’s me.” I recognized the voice and realized that this time, Sachin was the caller and I said, “pardon me…Sorry, sorry. I thought you are…”
“Okay, Okay. I want to ask you something.”
“Ask…”
“Tell me the truth…”
“Sachin, some truth should not be revealed. They should remain hidden for good. Some things cannot be said.”
“No problem then…if you don’t want to tell.”
He ended the conversation and my thought consolidated that he still thought that I was guilty and untruthful to him. I said to myself, “When will everything be restored like our old good days?”
[TO BE CONTINUED]
