Pooja..Worship to some BUT a World to me..- Story of College Life
Photo credit: jeltovski from morguefile.com
Leftover part of my life, which may be needed by you at some point of life…
I told you all the worst part of life that could have happened. The day I returned to my home (after I ran away), life changed a lot. This was a major turn in my life. I was full of guilt…everybody around me was crying…crying a lot. Par main kya karta, mai ro nahi sakta tha kisi ke saamne..I was like a ‘thing’. Nobody scolded me. As the time passed, I was in kind of depression or frustration, I don’t know. My rustication from school was withdrawn but uska faayda nahin tha, school jaane ka man hi n ahi karta tha aur kuch dino baad school ki preparation leave hone wali thi…kisi ne zabardasti bhi nahin ki. It was Novemeber, pre-boards were on my head and I didn’t know ANY subject! Then my mama called me to his home, so that I can have a change of place and unhone khud meri padai ka charge liya..he’s an IIT D graduate and has a widespread software development business. Unhone meri saare subjects ki home tution lagwai.. Each teacher used to charge 500rs. Per hour and they used to teach me 8 hrs. in a day. Pre Board 1 mein, I was failed in all subjects. Pre Board 2 mein I passed in English n chemistry. Everyone was having a little or no hope for me. My chemistry tutor was more than a teacher to me. He used to motivate me for 30-40 mins. And teach for almost 15-20 mins. He taught me like this only for hours and days. Sometimes 2 hrs. class but just for my personal issues..for my motivation..and 1000 rs. In his pocket. Baaki saare subjects ke teacher sirf padai karate the poora time. Finally I decided to fight hard. Time was very less and I had to study PCM and even Biology but I decided to do it at any cost. After just 3 months of hard work, result came and I got almost 70% marks!! And guess what, I scored highest in Chemistry, after english!
But this was not enough to get admission in some good college. I wasn’t prepared for any entrance exam or anything. I gave many entrances but failed in all. Almost everyone from my class got admission in reputed colleges but I was left all alone… I was once again sad but not depressed this time. I went to many colleges of UP, Rajasthan, Haryana but they demanded a huge donation, jo mere paas nahin tha dene ko. After a long search, dad ne zabardasti Delhi University mein B.Sc. mein admission kara diya, main B.Sc. nhi karna chahta tha. Mujhe bahut bura laga, main bhi sab ki tarah engg. Karna chahta tha, kuch kar ke dikhana chahta tha, apne parents ka khoya hua vishwaas vaapis jeetna chahta tha…Par kya karta, majboor tha…fir, ek din newspaper mein maine RPET ki counselling ka advertisement dekha jo AIEEE walo ke liye tha and maine usme apply kar diya. Shayad bhagwan ne mujhe ek aakhri mauka dene ka man bana liya tha…mujhe Rajasthan ke bare mein kuch pata to tha nahin, to maine randomly colleges ke naam option form mein bhar diye..Result aaya…and Finally, I got admission in engg. College (AIT). That was the most happiest moment after a long time in my life. Shayad tum log ye na samajh pao, par sach jab chah kar bhi koi padai nahi kar paata na, to kaisa lagta hai main jaanta hun.. B.Sc. ki class mein jaakar mind mein sirf tension rehti thi, professor ki taraf to dhyaan hi nahi jaata tha. Lagta tha, kuch nahi kar paaya main zindagi mein..bhagwan se har pal ek chance maangta tha..jitna dukh maine apne parents ko diya tha itni chhoti age mein, wo shayad bhot kam log dete hain par sach ye bhi hai ki, jitni shiddat se maine ek mauka maanga tha apne parents ki khaatir bhagwaan se, wo bhi bhot kam log hi karte hain. Maine decide kiya ab aane wale 4 saal aur aage ki saari zindagi, sirf apne parents ke liye aur family ke liye jiyunga. Bahut kar li life enjoy, ab aur nahin…meri saari icchayein ek taraf, aur meri ye life ek taraf. Yehi soch kar rakha ‘Samarth Saxena’ ne AIT mein apna pehla step.
Second phase :
Maine padai karna shuru ki..1st sem mein hi main top students mein aane laga..Labs. mein A+..Internals mein 90%..teachers par accha impression..mera pehla step successful hua..Mjhe is sab se koi khushi nahi mili par yehi sab jab main ghar par batata than a, to mum dad ki aawaz sunke jo khushi milti thi, that was more than anything. 1st semester was NOT so easy for me. Bhot si problems aayi..bhot si..unhe yahan batana zaruri nahi hai..Seniors ne jaan se maarne ki dhamki bhi di..I hope u can understand, ki kisi 1st sem ke student ko seniors agar aisi dhamki de to uski kya haalat hogi..maine bahut face kiya..dar lagta tha..bhot dar lagta tha..fir ek din raat ko maine ghar par fone kar diya..laga ab aur himmat nahin hai sehne ki, ghar par sab bata deta hun..gharwale bhot khush the..kehne lage isi tarah aage badte rehna..fir bole ‘khush to ho na wahan par?’…aur main kuch nahin bol paaya…Maine keh diya ‘Han khush hun aur sab theek hai’..aur jaldi hi phone rakh diya..Unki khushi ke aage kuch nahin bol paaya..peeche ke wo din yaad aa gaye jab main unhe itne dukh dekar aaya tha..Phir maine decide kiya ki ab jo hoga wo dekha jaayega par ab main aur dar dar ke nahi jiyunga..Karne ko main bhi kuch karta, par main majboor tha, jo raasta chhodkar aaya tha, us par dobara nahi jaana chahta tha..isliye sehta raha, kisi ko kuch nhi bataya..Inhi saari tensions mein meri 1st sem ke main exams mein 2 back lagi…Fir ek senior the, Ranveer bhaiya..unse koi bhi doosra senior muh nahi lagta tha..kyunki wo doosro ki tarah nahi the. Wo akele rehte the..jab unhe meri baat ka pata laga, to unhone mujhe apne room ke paas wale room mein shift kiya. Dheere dheere ye matter (jo main tum logo ko batana nahi chahta) college management tak pahunch gaya. Dubey sir, Sanjeev sir aur Raghav sir, us time par faculty the aur hostel mein rehte the. Wo teeno mere room mein mujhe dhoondte hue pahunche aur mujhse saari baat poochi. Unhone kaha mujhe koi bhi haath tak nahi laga sakta, darne ki koi zaruat nahi hai..unhone kaafi der mujhe akele mein samjhaya. Is beech maine kai room change kiye..kyunki har baar mujhe ulta seedha roommate mil raha tha aur main is baar koi bhi buri company nahi chahta tha. Finally after changing 6-7 rooms over 4 months and carrying a lot of tension in my mind, 1st semester ke last mein hi mujhe Ranveer sir ne Piyush sir ke room mein shift kara diya. Kyunki wo jaante the agar mujhe shift nahi kiya gaya, to meri to 6 back pakki hain is baar. Main piyush sir ko nahi jaanta tha aur na hi unke room mein reh rahe doosre senior ko par ye jo kuch bhi hua tha, bahut hi accha hua tha, jiski vajah se meri engg. Life success rahi!!
Third phase :
1st semester xams mein zyaada time bacha nahin tha, fir bhi Piyush sir ne mujhe bahut..bahut zyaada guide kiya…motivate kiya..unhe mera saara matter pata tha. Unhone kaha unke rehte hue, mujhe koi haath to door ki baat, kuch ulta bol bhi nahin sakta. We became good friends. I think best example tha humara jo ek Sr.-Jr. ka hona chahiye.
Time nikalta gaya…ab maine darna chhod diya tha…jin logo ke saamne jaane se bhi main bachta tha, unke aas paas baithne laga. Mere andar darr kabhi bhi khud ko lekar nahin tha..ye sab bacche the mere aage…mujhe pata tha..ye log jo kaam yahan college mein aakar karke, apni dhauns jamaate the, wo main school mein karke chhod chukka tha. Hansi aati thi mujhe in sab par. Par darta tha to sirf apne past the tha, nahin chahta tha ki kisi bhi vajah se gharwalo ko tang karun.
2nd semester mein rapidly improve karte hue, I got 72%. Everyone was happy EXCEPT ME. Mujhe pata nahin kyun kuch kami lag rahi thi. Mere andar ek habit bahut pehle se hai aur wo hai ‘Introspection’ yaani ‘Aatmavishleshan’ karne ki. Aur us din bhi maine wohi kiya. Us din mujhe realize hua ki main is tarah se padai nahin kar sakta. 6 mahino mein 6 subject ki 6 kitaabein padte hue main engineer nahin ban sakta. Main ghanto ek kitaab pakadkar 50 numerical nahin kar sakta. Main theoretical subjects ki 200-300 page ki theory nahin rat sakta. Main kitaabi keeda nahin ban sakta chahein jitni koshish kar loo. Main subah ko 9 se 4 tak ka college attend karke nahin reh sakta. Main in unexperienced teachers ke lectures bhi nahin le sakta moorti banker. Aur sabse important, Main galat hote hue nahin dekh sakta. Doosro ke liye na sahi, kam se kam khud par to galat bilkul nahin hone de sakta. Main ladna chahta tha us system ke against jo AIT mein chal raha tha.
Mere 1st year mein, humare paas nahane ka to chhodo peene ka paani nahin aata tha kai dino tak, Classes mein zameen par mitti mein baith kar padna padta tha, teachers marks mein apni dadagiri chalate the, hamare khaane mein aaye din chhipkali ya cockroach ya koi aur keede nikalte the. Hostel mein pankhe tak nahin the..Par in sab ke khilaaf bolne wala koi nahin tha, sab sirf baatein karte the..koste rehte the system ko. Mujhe ye dekhkar bahut bura lagta tha. Main sab cheezein observe karta raha…
Students ke paas koi awareness nahin thi..mere batchmates ko computer ON karna tak nahin aata tha. English ka ‘E’ tak nahin aata tha. Mere classmates ko engineering ka matlab to chhodo, spelling tak nahin aati thi…SERIOUSLY! Ye sab sach hai! Mujhe ye sab dekhkar raha nahin gaya, khud par sharam aati thi ki main bhi isi system ka part hun jo kuch nahin kar raha..
I decided, I decided to do something. Maine bahut research kari net par ki kaise kya kuch naya karun is institute ke liye. Bahut din nikalte gaye..
Ek din chairman sir college aaye hue the aur hamare hostel mein 4 din se paani nahin aaya tha..Mujhe is baat ka jaise hi pata laga ki wo hostel ke round par aa rahe hain, maine sabse kaha ki hum log underwear-banyan mein hi uske saamne jaakar apni complaint karte hain. Koi 1 student bhi mere saath chalne ko taiyyar nahin hua. Main akela gaya aur maine complaint bhi ki..sab log hamesha ki tarah sirf door se dekhte reh gaye. Agle 2-3hrs. mein paani ka tanker aaya aur fir daily aane laga…Maine sabko bhot samjhaya ki doosro ke liye nahin to kam se kam apne haq ke liye to ladna seekho. Par wo sab pata nai kyun darte the, darte the system se aur usi mein khush the.
Isi tarah se maine khudne apne 1st year mein poore hostel ke saamne Director sir ko phone laga ke bahut sunaayi thi…kyunki hamaare paas peene ka paani nahin tha kai dino se..Mere seniors tak bole ki Samarth sirf tu baat kar sakta hai, pls baat kar director sir se. Aur action hua, paani mila. Maine sabko fir samjhaaya ki kyun darte ho tum log..par ye kaam itna aasaan nahin tha..Maine koshishe zaari rakhi. Ek nahin, hazaar koshishein kari logo ki soch badalne ki.
MY ACADEMIC PART :
Maine apne andar kiye hue aatmavishleshan mein un saari cheezon ki kami paayi jo ki yahan Topper banne ke liye zaruri thi. Main ek baar phir tensed hua, socha, bina kitaabi keeda bane main topper kaise banunga? Bina kitaabein ratey main kaise khud ko prove kar paunga. Aur maine jawaab bhi dhoond liya. Maine us din ye samjha ki topper sirf 90% laakar, kuch kitaabein rat kar nahin bana jaata. Asli topper wohi hai jo pade hue subject ki knowledge rakhta ho. Knowledge sirf 4 kitaabein padkar nahin aati. Knowledge paane ke liye usse thoda zyaada karna padta hai. Maine apni padai ke saath saath latest technology ke bare mein jaanna start kiya. Jab sab log laptops par movies/games khela karte the, wahin main technical presentations banana seekh raha tha, technology articles padta tha, 1st semester mein hi apna CV banata tha, course books ko rat ta nahin tha, jitna bhi padta tha samajh kar padta tha. Aur 3 questions ko hamesha apne saath leta hua chala tha..”How, Why and Why not” . Yaani ki koi topic hai, to main sirf kitaab mein likha hua padkar chhodta nahin tha. Main dekhta tha uske andar kya hua, kaise hua, Kyun hua aur sabse zaruri and mera khaas question ‘aisa hua to waisa KYUN NAHIN hua? These questions gave me a lot of answers and added to my leaning. Hamesha cheezon ko theoretically nahin, PRACTICALLY lekar chalta tha main. For example, Digital electronics mein sab log Flip Flop ki tables rat te the, par main yehi sochta tha ki ‘Ye Sali cheez kya hai?, kaisi dikhti hogi?’..aur phir net par dekhta tha..tab chain padta tha mujhe aur fir padne mein bhi maza aata tha. Dheere dheere aage badta raha main. Result aane par ‘Rajasthan Tech Univ ya phir AIT’ ke liye main shayad kabhi topper nahin hota tha, par meri duniya mein main topper tha………….(par ye shayad meri bhool thi…)……
Phir mujhe ‘Yash Chawla’ naam ka banda mila. Wo kisi techfest mein jaane ka plan kar raha tha jab usne mujhe contact kiya. Tab humara 1st year tha. Yash was no doubt a talented person with excellent communication skills. He was the first person from our institute to think about any such activity. He was also doing well in academics. The only problem with him is ‘ATTITUDE’. He carries a negative attitude with him. He’s full of evil feelings like Jealousy and selfishness. This is the only reason, we never joined hands to do any work together in 4years. Ye baat koi nahin jaanta AIT mein, sab yehi sochte the ki hum saath kaam kyun nahi karte. Shayad Yash ki tarah sab yehi sochte the ki main aur Yash bahut strong competitors hain ek doosre ke par sach ye hai ki maine Yash ko kabhi bhi apne se competition karne laayak samjha hi nahin aur na hi use apna competitor maana. Yash ke andar healthy competition ki nahin balki bahut gandi feelings thi mere liye. Wo hamesha mujhe peeche karne mein laga raha aur main hamesha usse aage badne mein. Yehi farak tha hum mein. Kuch baton ko lekar hum mein differences aa gaye 1st year mein us techfest wale matter ko lekar hi, isliye main nahin gaya uske saath. After he returned frm techfest, he became quite arrogant. Maine decide kiya ki ek din main bhi jaunga aur jeet kar aaunga kisi top college mein like IIT. Yahin se shuruaat hui mere techfests mein jaane ki..Maine net par bahut research ki is sabke bare mein. Phir maine ek bhot long term plan banaya ki main ek din ‘Asia’ ke sabse bade techfest mein, jo IIT Bombay organise karta hai, prize jeet kar launga. Par wahan jeetna to chhodo, wahan jaane tak ke liye mere paas na to koi experience tha, na koi information source. Phir maine apna short term goal set kiya ki main pehle chhote level ke techfets mein jaakar experience gain karunga, phir medium level ke aur phir apne is sapne ke bare mein sochunga (IIT Bombay). Sirf socha hi nahin, bhot kuch kiya bhi maine is sapne ke liye. Aur result aap sab shayad jaante hain..
1st year – 2nd prize in technical Paper presentation in AIT (Arti di was no doubt 1st …my respected sr.)
2nd Year – PPT & Robotics Workshop in VIT Vellore (Tamil Nadu)
3rd prize in Paper Presentation at JECRC, Jaipur
Selection for Summer Internship program by IIT Guwahati among 360 students in India
Certification By NASA, USA
3rd year – Selection as a Microsoft Student partner by Microsoft Corporation
2nd prize in Junkyard wars event in IIT Guwahati
4th year – 1st prize in robotics event ‘RoboPolo’ at Asia’s largest TechFest, IIT Bombay – A dream come true!
I hope you all can see how I achieved my ultimate goal slowly and gradually. But it was well planned and equipped with hardwork. This was just the one part of success. There were numerous other small & big achievements in my engineering life.
This was not a one day task to achieve. It took time and happened gradually. It wasn’t easy enough. Numerous obstacles came in my path and tried to stop me but I tried, tried and just tried. I never ever competed with anyone, I always used to think just about my goal, not about what others are doing.
I strictly and firmly believed in one thing ‘There’s nothing that can stop us from achieving our goal if WE really want to achieve it’.
Service to others :
I mentioned previously, “Living life for others is worth living”. I always wanted to give my service to others. I thought what to do if I need to improve the scenario of AIT/BU. Firstly, I thought of creating awareness among students. I used to do that whenever I get time or if somebody asks me for help. My first lesson to others was to ‘fight for your own rights’. Then I helped students(hostellers) in improving their personality by helping them know about basic manners and etiquettes in professional life. I used to work selflessly and that gave me immense pleasure. I helped students in understanding the actual meaning of ‘Engineering’, which is more than just getting a degree.
Then, I used to listen and solve personal problems of students. Personal issues are something which makes a person very tense if not resolved and usually people don’t discuss them with anyone. But I tried to ask the students in best possible way and then helped them to resolve them, so that they can focus on their studies well.
My work was not up to student level but also till management level. I worked a lot in changing the policies adopted by college management. Example : My industrial tour was a plan suggested by me and it was the most successful tour till date. Also, in my final year when I was the President of Cyber Club, I took all the decisions of club irrespective of what management says. I changed few silly policies of management that Secretary should be 2nd yr student, VP should be 3rd year student etc. I asked them if no 2nd year student is ready to work for club, then why to give a certificate to anyone just like that. Maine kaha ki jo bhi student kaam karna chahega, position aur certificate usi ko milegi chahein fir wo 1st year ho ya final year. Doosre clubs mein Secretary, VP, President wagerah sab naam ke hote the jo source lagakar ban jaate the. Par Cyber Club mein Secretary, VP, President..sab final year ke the kyunki unhone kaam kiya tha. Certificates bhi unhi ko mile jinhe maine positions di thi. Isse club bhi accha chala, jinhe positions mili wo students bhi khush the, club members bhi khush the aur main bhi. Kisi ko shayad nahin pata ki maine apni President ki position apne VP ko offer ki thi taaki wo aur acche se kaam kare and he was deserving but management was not ready. Mujhe in sab positions wagerah mein koi interest nahin tha, main sirf apne club ko top par dekhna chahta tha aur wo hua bhi. Maine dekha ki log ye saari positions paane ke liye lade mare ja rahe the par kaam koi nahin karna chahta tha, aur jo karna chahta tha use daba diya jaata tha. Par isme galti dabane wale ki nahin, dabne wale ki hai. Aap mujhe ye bataiye ki koi mujhe kyun nahin daba paaya?? Students to chhodiye Management tak kyun jhuka mere decisions ke aage?? Yash Chawla jaise log jo kisi ko aage badne nahin dete bina matlab ke, kyun nahin rok paaye mujhe hazaar koshisho ke baad bhi?? Iska answer aap log khud dhoonde aur samjhe to accha hoga..
Isi tarah maine bahot si jagah jitna ho sakta tha apna contribution diya AIT/BU ko, chahein wo students the ya management. Sab baatein na to main yahan bata sakta hun, aur na hi batana zaruri samajhta hun kyunki main sirf aap logo ko sacchai dikhana chahta hun, kahani sunana nahin…
Love Life…
Isi tarah main aage badta gaya..apni si duniya mein…jise main kisi ko nahin dikhata tha. Aur is sab mein jisne mera sabse zyaada saath diya hai wo log hain…Piyush Sir & Narendra, my roommates. I love you wherever you are, always! There were few others also including my Juniors and I really thank them!
This was the technical and academic part of my life. But there was something else also which very few people know i.e. My Love Life…Yes, I loved someone..
I’m in love with a girl! I fell in love with a girl, two years younger than me, my junior. My love, Pooja (Biotech.).. May be shocking but yes, true!
After my school life, I never enjoyed my life. Although, I had fun in engineering life, I visited so many places in India, stayed at 5 star hotels(Courtesy : Microsoft), interacted with numerous kind of people on earth, had a press conference(IIT B Win) BUT at the end of the day, I was doing everything for my family. My goal was always constant i.e. to make my family happy and proud of me. I never enjoyed winning or achieving anything in engg., really. I swear, I did everything for my parents, my family. Dosto ke saath mazaak masti zarur karta tha but very very few people know inner Samarth.
Infact, you will be surprised to know that ki main jab bhi koi award jeet ta tha ya kuch bhi accha karta tha, to mere parents mujhe daant dete the aur kehte the kitaabo mein dimaag lagao, in sabka koi faayda nahin. Mujhe Collector se jab award mila 1st year mein, maine gharwalo ko bulaya tha par unke paas time nahin tha. Aur wo time unhe shayad last tak nahin mil paaya jab main IIT Bombay mein jeeta, press conference hui, newspapers mein photos aayi… Jiske liye main ye sab karta tha, unke paas na to meri ye sab baatein sunne ke liye time tha aur na hi appreciate karne ke liye words. Wok keh dete the “han theek hai, ab result kab aa raha hai? Padai kaisi chal rahi hai? Ye sab band karo! Humein pasand nahin”….Award milne wali raat ko mum dad ki kahi sabhi baton mein se main sirf “han theek hai” wali baat se hi tasalli kar leta tha aur hans leta tha akele hi…aur har saal aisa hi karta tha.. Aap mein se shayad ye baatein koi bhi nahin jaanta par ye sab sach hai. Patanahi aap log ye sab samajh paayenge ya nahin par mujhe thoda bura lagta tha…kya karta..insaan hun na…
Par mum dad humara bura kabhi nahin chahte, yehi soch leta tha..
When I was in 3rd year, Pooja took admission in college. I noticed her one day while returning from college. She was with Sweta (her sister) going towards college. I didn’ know her, not even her name. I just kept looking at her as she passed by..She also took a glance of me and then we both pretended as we didn’ look towards each other! She was looking as B’ful as always! But then I focused on my work and did not concentrate on her much. Although, I had interaction with many girls right from 1st year but I never looked any girl with any bad intention. I respect girls a lot and respect those who have respect for girls. This is the value, Iam proud of! Main chahta to main bhi kisi ke saath relationship maintain kar sakta tha but main jaanta tha main jis kaam se yahan aaya hun, wo in sab se zyaada zaruri hai. Wo tha, mere parents par mera trust banana aur unhe khush dekhna. To in sab cheezon ko maine shuru se hi ignore kiya. I used to take every girl just as my friend and if junior, then just my student, nothing else.
Sab log gf ki baatein karte the, kehte the meri to hogi hi…par ye sach nahin tha..mujhe na to unki in baton mein koi interest tha, na hi unki ideology mein. ‘Girlfriend’ word se hi mujhe irritation hoti hai, kyunki it’s a bad word to describe relationship. Wo sab..including my few fnds..jis way mein relationship rakhte the, wo dekh kar bhi bura lagta tha..unke liye ‘ladki’ sirf ek cheez thi jise istamaal karo aur jab man bhar jaaye to chhod do. Maine kai baar in baton par discussion kiya par sab log mera mazaak udate the, to main chup ho jaata tha par unki baton par, unki thinking par agree kabhi nahi hota tha. Usme se ek topic tha ‘Pre marital Sex’ jis par sab log kehte the hona chahiye aur main hamesha akela hota tha ki nahin hona chahiye…ye sab sach hai..par main hamesha apne points se ek healthy discussion karta tha par sab sirf mera mazaak udate the.
Time nikalta gaya..dheere dheere Pooja and Sweta dono hi famous hoti gyi…jisko dekho unhi ki baatein karta rehta tha..aur wo baatein kuch acchi nahi thi..Jab bhi kabhi Pooja paas hoti, to main use notice zarur karta tha but kabhi us nazar se nahi dekha. In Dono ka koi case hua jo director sir tak pahuncha…kyunki unke hostel ki warden wo canteen wali aunty thi. Everyone in college was talking about them. Dheere dheere maine notice kiya ki Sweta to mast rehti thi but Pooja bhot shaant rehne lagi. Sweta fashion shows, dances, sports etc. mein part lene lagi but Pooja kabhi in sab mein nahi aati thi. Infact, gumsum si rehti thi. Patanahi kyun mujhe laga I should talk to her but then again, I focused on my work. College wale bhi to kam jaan nahin khaate the meri, time mil hi nahi paata tha :)
Phir ek din maine hostel mein kisi ke laptop mein Sweta ki aur Pooja ki alag alag pics dekhi..maine poocha kahan se aayi, to usne kaha ‘kisi se li thi, acchi lagi to rakh li’. Matlab, bina unki knowledge ke unki pics share kari gayi thi. Aur fir wo log comment kar rahe the baith ke unki pics par jo mujhe zara bhi accha nahi laga. Mujhe yaad nahi kiske paas sabse pehle maine dekhi thi, shaayad junior hi tha par maine usko daanta aur wo pics delete karvaayi. Uske baad maine wo pics kuch aur logo ke paas dekhi including Mr. Pramod Kumar (ECE Final yr BU). Narendra bhi ek copy mere mobile mein le aaya pramod se and fir maine shayad khud ya narendra se kaha ki pramod ko bole wo pics delete karne ke liye…hahahahahhahahahaha……Par maine wo copy kisi kaam ke liye li thi, na ki commenting ke liye. Wo pics maine jiske paas bhi dekhi, immediately delete karaayi (Arjit/Arun, my batchmates)…mujhe accha nhi lag raha tha..I finally decided to talk to Pooja about this.
Mere 6th sem ke internals chal rahe the…aur internals ke last day holidays start ho rahi thi humaari…industrial training ke liye. Maine Naveen Krishna(Civil Final yr BU)ko bataayi saari baat aur kaha ki Pooja ko bula laaye mere paas..ye keh kar ki senior bula rahe hain. 1-2 din to Naveen ji ne investigation ki Pooja ke bare mein, to pata laga ki Pooja mein bhot attitude hai, kisi se baat nahi karti, jise sunkar hamaare Naveen ji ki haalat kharaab ho gayi!! :) Phir bhi maine samjha bujha kar Naveen ko use bulaane bheja jis din mera last internal tha (2pm) aur 3pm ki meri delhi ki train thi. Bhot dhoondne ke baad Naveen us room mein enter hua jahan Pooja, Sweta aur unki frnds baithi thi…main baahar hi khada tha. Fir kya tha, Naveen ji to gate khol ke baahar aa gaye waapis….hhahahahahahahahahhaha.. Mere se bola ki “Sweta to taang pe taang rakh ke baithi hai table par aur Pooja peeche kahin baithi hai”…hahahhahahahahha…Mere paas zyaada time nahin tha..2 baj rahe the aur 3 baje ki meri train thi to main khud hi gaya finally use bulaane! Mere enter hote hi Sweta ji ki taange bhi seedhi ho gyi aur sabhi ki batti gul ho gyi. Maine jab Pooja ko bulaaya to wo khadi to ho gyi par apni jagah se nahi hili. Maine kaha mujhe aapse kuch baat karni hai, please baahar aa jaiye. Wo darte hue boli “Yahin bataiye”…hahahahhahahahhahahahah… Dar gyi thi bechari..Maine jab dobara kaha to wo aa gayi par Sweta ko sath bula laayi..dheere se boli ye meri behen hai, aap bataiye. To maine use uski photo dikhaayi aur samjhayi sari baat..usko samjhaya aage se dhyaan rakhe aur aisa koi kaam na kare jisse uske parents ko hurt ho. Btaya usko maine delete karayi hain pics aur ye sirf use dikhane ke liye rakhi thi aur ye delete kar deta hun. Use bhi nahin pata tha ki unki ye pics hostel kaise pahunchi, wo pics freshers/annual par kheenchi gayi thi..Pooja bhot dari hui thi mere saamne..phir main apni baat bolke nikal gaya..(us din to bhaag bhaag ke train pakdi fir maine iske chakkar mein :) )
Training par chala gaya..par us din ke baad se ek pal ke liye bhi Pooja ko bhool nahi paa raha tha main. Koi galat feeling nahin thi uske liye, main to use theek se jaanta tak nahin tha par fir bhi na jaane kyun use protect karna chahta tha..bas chahta tha ki wo kisi problem mein na pade..koi ladka ya koi bhi uske saath galat na kare..Mujhe nahin pata ye kya tha par main uski bhot respect karta tha chahein log kuch bhi kahein..yehi sach tha
Training poori karke laute…xams hue…Final year mein aa gaye. Wo 2nd year mein aa gayi.
Phir ek din ‘Mr.Shashank Kumar’(ECE, Final year, BU) aaya aur Shweta ke bare mein ulta seedhaa bolne laga..shayad Pramod bhi wahin tha..Pramod ne meri taang kheenchne ke liye use bol diya ki Pooja bhi aisi hai…Phir to shashank aur shuru ho gaya..Usne us din mere saamne duniya bhar ki baatein bol di uske bare mein, jinhe yahan batana shayad zaruri hai :
1. Mr. Shashank ne kaha ki un dono ke bed ke neeche se beer ki bottles mili
2. Shashank ne kaha ki CJ (Director’s son) sweta ko kisi jagah lekar gaya tha (with new underwear)
3. Shashank ne kaha Pooja bhi kisi ke saath ghoomti hai and wo bhi ulte kaam karti hai
4. Shashank and Pramod ne kaha unke liye hostel mein bade bade gifts bhejta hai unka boyfriend Jharkhand se
Ye sab kuch maine bilkul shaanti se suna. And after listening to all the rubbish, I asked one simple question to that Bastard (Shashank), ki kya uske paas is sabka koi bhi proof hai? Kya usne apni aankho se unke bed ke neeche se nikli bottles dekhi? Kya usne Sweta ko CJ ke saath kahin bhi jaate dekha? Kya ye zaroori hai ki Pooja agar kisi ladke saath thi bhi to wo ulte seedhe kaam karti hai? Kya unke gifts kahan se aate hain, usne dekha hai? Is sab ka jawaab usne ek shabd mein diya tha “NAHIN”…aur mujhe isse zyaada kuch sunna bhi nahin tha..par wo nasamajh ki tarah kehta raha ‘bhaiyya maine suna hai, aise galat thodi suna hoga’. Us Ullu ke patthe ko ye samajh nahin aaya ki baatein banana wale jitney nalayak hote hain, unse kahin zyaada bewakuf un par vishwaas karne wale hote hain. Pramod ne bhi apni galti realize ki par wo motu meri taang kheenchne se baaz nahin aata tha! Khud to ‘Sahast Anjum’ ke saath kuch bhi kare, aur hum kisi ke bare mein acchi baat bhi na karein…hahahahahahahahahaha…prakash batata tha pramod ke kisse.. :) (kiddin’)
Dheere dheere maine pata kiya aur mujhe pata laga ki Sweta ko famous hone ka bada shauk hai..wo to dikhne hi laga tha..2nd year mein hone ke baawjood, usne bhot popularity gain kar li thi.. Main samajh gaya tha Sweta un ladkiyo mein se hai, jo hamesha limelight mein rehna chahti hain. Wo har sport/cultural/non-tech events mein dikhti thi aur is sabke peeche uske interest se zyaada, uske hamesha sabse alag dikhne ka desire tha. Par iska ye matlab to bilkul bhi NAHIN hai ki aisi ladkiyaan ulte seedhe kaam karti hain. Wahin doosri taraf, Pooja bhot quiet and calm thi..use ye sab karna pasand nahin tha..wo khud ko bilkul expose nahin karti thi. Sweta ke saath rehti thi, isiliye wo bhi logo ki nazar mein aa jaati thi.
Time nikalta gaya…mera 7th Sem chal raha tha..Pooja ko main bhool nahin paata tha kabhi bhi, par main is baat ka pata kisi ko nahi lagne deta. Par koi bhi uske bare mein kuch bhi galat bole, wo mjhe bardaash nahin hota tha aur main uska oppose karta tha (Pramod kuch yaad aaya??). Main usse ek baar sirf ek baar baat karna chahta tha…patanahi kyun magar chahta tha…Par fir maine ye sab se dhyaan hata kar apne goal ki taraf concentrate kiya. Uske liye pray karta tha ki wo safe rahe khush rahe, main to use jaanta bhi nahi tha par patanahi kyun main uske liye insecure feel karne laga… par yehi socha ki meri koi bhi iccha, mere parents ki iccha ke baad aati hai. Academics subjects ke saath saath, mera har baar ki tarah is baar bhi kuch alag karne ka plan tha. Wo tha meri engineering ka project. Jahan meri class ke sabhi…sabhi matlab SABHI students project ko kisi tarah niptaane ki soch rahe the,wahin maine kuch aur hi soch rakha tha. Maine soch liya tha, ki engg. Ka project aisa banaunga jo aaj tak kisi ne banana ki nahin sochi hogi AIT mein aur bhot kuch seekhunga. Mera dream project ‘MER’ (Mars Exploration Rover). Jab students ko mere is idea ke bare mein pata chala to sab ne mere saath judne ki koshish kari. Main chahta to main sabko apne group mein add karke, paise wasool leta aur koi kuch nahin kehta par aim wo nahin tha. Aim tha mehnat karne ka aur us mehnat se bhot kuch seekhne ka. Mera long term plan tha ye jise main apne Major project se link karne ki soch raha tha. Ek team select karke, hard work aur dedication se apni report taiyyar ki. Project ko banana ke liye mujhe funds chahiye the jise maine chairman sir se lene ki request daali. Mere us project se na sirf hamare poore institute ka naam hota balki wo project kai branches ke students ke liye ek Lab. Device ki tarah kaam karta. Ye sab jo main kuch lines mein kehta jaa raha hun, kai mahino ka kaam tha. Wo kehte hain na ‘Rome was not built in a Day’, kuch waisa hi tha. Bahot si pareshaniyan aayi…kisi ek faculty ne mera support nahin kiya..koi bhi doosra student itna competent nahin tha jo meri help kar sakta tha..aur fir kisi ne sach kaha hai ‘Acche kaam mein Help karne ke liye to koi aage aata nahin, par peeche kheenchne ke liye 1000 log khade ho jaate hain’, bas aisa hi kuch maine face kiya. Mera HOD bhi mere saath nahin tha. Main akele ke dam par, apni 4 saal ki mehnat se banaayi hui image ke base par Director sir ke paas khud hi gaya apna plan lekar. Din din bhar khada rehta tha ek ek official ke sign ke liye, director se milne ke liye…sab mazaak udate the, kehte the kya karta rehta hun main har time faaltu kaam. Director sir ne meri isi image ko dhyaan rakhte hue mere project ko approval diya aur saath hi 50% of 1 lakh rupees dilwane ka promise bhi kiya. I hope aap log ye samajh sakte hain, ki jo director students se baat tak nahin karta, usne mujhe AIT jaise college mein paise dilwane ka promise kiya, to mujhe kaisa laga hoga… Par sach yeh hai ki isme koi badi baat nahin thi..Main ek accha kaam karne jaa raha tha, to main kyun darta director ke paas jaane se? Main gaya, apni baat samjhaayi aur saamne wala maan gaya. Par ye sab ek din mein nahin kamaaya tha…4 saal ghisa tha main is position aur reputation ko banana mein…tabhi to saamne wale ne meri baat par gaur kiya, varna kyun karta koi kisi ko aise paise dilane ki baat? Par pareshaani yahan khatam nahin hui…Due to some unavoidable circumstances, chairman sir ne paise dene se mana kar diya. Main poori baat batana zaruri nahin samajhta par uske peeche sabse bada haath tha ‘Mr. Yash Chawla’ ka.. Chalo koi baat nahin, mujhe bahut bura laga..bhot mehnat ki thi maine aur meri team ne is project ki planning par.. Chairman sir se mujhe milne tak nahin diya college walo ne..maine unka us din 11 ghante wait kiya tha gin kar..par jab nahin jaane diya gaya…to main zabardasti chairman sir ke room mein ghus gaya…ye baat mujhe aur meri team ko pata hai..tab chairman sir ne dean sir se poocha…kuch discussion kiya aur fir mana ho gaya…
Par us din main kuch der ke liye discouraged to hua..aur shaayad hona banta bhi tha..ek to aisa institute jahan koi bhi aage badne ke bare mein nahin sochta tha, bheed se alag hatkar chalne ki nahin sochta tha, kuch naya karne ki nahin sochta tha, jahan sirf politics chalti thi…wahan main kuch karna chahta tha, sirf apne liye nahin balki doosro ke liye bhi. Par mere alawa shaayad koi aur aisa nahin chahta tha..Par maine haar nahin maani, agar main bhi chup chap baith jaata baakiyon ki tarah to mujhe complaint karne ka koi haq nahin tha, main problem ka nahin, solution ka hissa banna chahta tha (Jo ki maine apni idol senior, ‘Ms. Arti Ahuja’ se seekha tha, jab wo kabhi colg mein thi). Us raat jab main chairman sir se milkar lauta, to director sir bahut sharminda hue kyunki wo apna kiya promise nahin nibha paaye aur mujhe sry bole. Ye bhot badi baat thi. Maine room par jaate hi kuch der socha aur phir diary aur pen utha kar na jaane kya kya likh daala diary mein. Maine kuch zyaada socha nahin, ye nahin ki udaas hokar baith gaya …bas jo mind mein aaya wo paper par likh daala. Jo baahar aaya, wo pata hai kyat tha?? 2 ghante ke andar 3 naye fully prepared plans..mere project ke. Maine 3 alternate plans taiyyar kiye aur seedhe apni team ke paas approval ke liye gaya. Maine saare plans explain kiye aur sabke suggestions liye. Sab log surprised the ki itni jaldi itne saare ideas kahan se aaye mere paas. Par isme koi bhi khaas baat nahin thi, farak sirf itna hi tha ki mere sabhi team members us din ki haar se udaas hue baith gaye the, jabki main is haar ka jawaab dene ki taiyyari mein jut gaya tha. Finally, humne ek plan finalize kiya aur ‘MER’ ka idea chhod diya. Time zyaada nahin bacha tha..kadaake ki sardi mein main akele Jaipur up down karta tha ajmer se…raat mein 2 baje 3 baje jab sab kambalo mein soye hue hote the, tab main hostel aaya karta tha poore din Jaipur mein kaaam karne ke baad…Kabhi kabhi 1 din mein 2 baar bhi Jaipur gaya…Agar tum mein se kisi ne ‘Himanshu Bhojwani’ se project banwaya hoga to poochna kabhi use, ki kaise main akele kaam karta tha uske saath aur kaise wo raat ko 12 baje sindhi camp bus stand chhodne jaata tha mjhe..Humne minor project banaaya…mere group ko as expected sabse zyaada marks mile poori class mein. Usi project ko hum log IIT Bombay mein lekar gaye jahan humne 1st prize jeeta. Us din samajh mein aaya ki jo hua tha acche ke liye hi hua tha. Itni kam age mein, meri Press conference hui, saare rajasthan ke newspapers mein photo aur articles print hue, radio wale interview lene aaye..wo sab kuch hua jo maine expect nahin kiya tha..main khush tha kyunki maine apna goal kaafi had tak achieve kar liya tha. Goal ka matlab IIT mein jeetna nahin balki apne parents ko meri vajah se khush dekhne ka tha..
8th semester start hua…February 2011…
Kuch hi dino mein meri college life khatam hone waali thi..Academics mein accha chal raha tha..70% aggregate expected tha engg. Ka, jo ki mere hisaab se kaafi tha. Sirf ek Maths-1 mein meri baar baar back lag rahi thi. Maine apna final attempt diya IIT B se aane ke theek baad hi. Baat ye bilkl nahin thi ki subject tough tha, baat ye thi ki us subject ko jitni mehnat chahiye thi wo maine kabhi ki hi nahin thi. Par shayad meri kismet mein wo din dekhna bhi likha tha, jab main apne engg. Ke 45/46 subjects clear pass kar loonga aur sirf 1 subject ki vajah se meri engg. Ki degree cancel ho sakti thi. Sach ye bhi hai ki maine apne second last attempt mein bhi bhot taiyyari ki thi par shayad koi kami reh gayi thi.. Exam wale din mujhe dekhkar sab log shocked the center par..mujhe bhi bura lag raha tha..kisi ko mujhse ye expected nahin tha par khushi is baat ki thi ki maine apne FAILURES ko face karna seekh liya tha. Maine aur bhi zyaada mehnat karke apna exam diya. Mujhe hi pata hai kaise maine apne 7th sem ke 6 subjects, mere IIT ka project aur usi time apne M1 ke last attempt ki taiyyari ki…sab saath mein. Iske saath gharwalo ka bahut pressure tha mujh par, wo nahin chahte the ki main kitaabo ke baahar ki duniya dekhu aur shayad wo apni jagah sahi bhi the. Jab kisi ka main motive jo ki engg. Pass karna tha, wohi poora na ho raha ho to wo baahar ke bare mein kaise soch sakta hai. Par meri soch thodi si alag thi…Main hamesha hi kitaabi padai ko secondary maan ke chalta aur PRACTICAL KNOWLEDGE ko Primary. Secondary maanne ka ye matlab bilkul nahin tha ki us par dhyaan nahi deta tha, par sirf itna ki ‘Primary ke bina Secondary’ kabhi nahin ho sakta.. Project ka Team Leader hone ke naate meri wahan bhi bhot si responsibilities thi jiske liye mujhe time nikaalna padta tha..par ye sab kuch main kisi se nahin keh paaya.. Main akele hi apne raaste par chalta raha, apne focus ko hatne nahin diya. Par sach ye bhi hai ki meri is busy dikhne wali life mein, main bhot akela tha…aur is waqt bhi Pooja utne hi mere nazdeek thi jitni tab jab maine usse pehli baar saamne khade hokar baat ki thi….
Pooja jab bhi college mein dikhai deti, mujhe bhot accha lagta tha..and dikhai kya deti, main to zabardasti use dekhta tha (college mein dhoond dhoond kar)..hahhahahahah.. Wo mujhe to dikhti nahin thi par mera ek kamina dost hai ‘Vaibhav Pandit’, jis bechare ko maine bhot chakkar kataaye hain college ke Pooja ko dhoondne ke liye and the good part is ki wo use kahin na kahin se dhoond hi leta tha aur fir uske saamne mujhe ishaare karta tha…hahahahhahah.
Main aur kuch nahin bas usko 2 pal ke liye dekhkar hi khush ho jaata tha..jab wo hansti thi, to mere chehre par bhi hansi aa jaati thi… Jab wo chupke se meri taraf dekhkar aankhein ghuma leti thi, to mujhe bhot pyaari lagti thi… Jab wo kahin bhi khadi hoti thi to main na jaane kyun apne saare kaam chhodkar chhup chhup kar usko dekhne lag jaata tha… Jab wo apna exam likh rahi hoti thi to uske baahar aane ka intezaar karta tha aur pray karta tha bhagwan iski buddhi mein answer bhej do… jab wo class mein head down karke gaane sun rahi hoti thi to main baar baar us raste se nikal kar uski beautiful band aankho ko hi dekha karta tha… kabhi kabhi jis raste se wo nikalti, main bhi use mehsoos karne ke liye theek usi raste par jaata… jab wo subah college aane wali hoti to main use ek nazar dekhne ke liye jaakar notice board ke paas khada ho jaata… Jab tez hawaayein uske sar ke baalo ko udaati, to jee karta tha aandhi aa jaaye… Jab hawa se uske sar se dupatta gir jaata tha, to use tang hote dekhta tha aur hans deta tha… Jab kabhi wo baarish mein bheeg jaati, to use apne baalo ko sukhaata dekh man karta ki jaakar poochoo “Madam, towel lengi kya?”…hahahahhahaha…I know it sounds funny par ye sach hai.. Mujhe nahin pata main aisa kyun kar raha tha, par patanai kyun mujhe lagta tha ki wo kisi problem mein hai, main usko protect karna chahta tha..Wo itna gum sum rehti thi, ki mujhe aisa lagta tha.. Main Pooja ko jaanna chahta tha ya shaayad nahin…patanahin..par main bas chahta tha ki wo hamesha khush rahe… Pooja, Sweta ke saath rehti thi aur Sweta bhot advance hona chahti thi.. Iske liye girls kabhi kabhi galat steps bhi leti hain.. Mujhe bas isi baat ka dar lagta tha ki Pooja kabhi koi galat decision na le… Is age mein el boy & girl ke beech relationship hona normal si baat hai. Bas main yehi chahta tha ki Pooja kabhi kisi galat haath ko na thaame..Yehi pray karta tha ki wahan ka ya kahin ka bhi koi galat ladka uski life mein na aaye aur uske saath kuch galat na ho… Main ye baat acchi tarah samajhta tha ki main Pooja ke laayak bilkul bhi nahi hun…Na to mere paas handsome personality thi, na us par kharcha karne ke liye khud ke paise, mera to time bhi mera nahi tha, wo bhi to apne parents se udhaar lekar aaya tha. Main to bas yehi chahta tha ki Pooja ki life mein agar koi aaye to mast smart sa banda aaye jo use kabhi hurt na kare aur life ke har step mein hamesha uske saath rahe. Main to bas usko apni Dream Girl maanta tha jise paane ka main soch bhi nahin sakta……… Usko to shaayad pata bhi nahin tha ki college ki bheed mein koi aisa bhi hai… jiske saath wo hamesha rehti hai, Jiski ek hansi se kisi aur ke chehre par bhi smile aa jaati hai, Jiski ek jhalak se kisi ke din ki acchi shuruat hoti hai, Jiski ek nazar padne se kisi ke dil ki dhadkan tez ho jaati hai, Jiski zulfo ki ghata se kisi ki subah hoti hai, Jiski parchhayi tak ko chhoone ke liye koi sapne dekha karta hai, jise mehsoos karne ke liye aanhein bhara karta hai aur jise nazdeek paakar bhi koi bahut door paata hai….Yehi hai us insaan ki kismat…shaayad….. Main chah kar bhi kuch nahin kar paaya aur ek baar fir apni saari icchaon ko door rakhkar, parents ka dhyaan kar liya…..
Jald hi March aaya…Main bimaar ho gaya…mujhe delhi bheja gaya…wahan main hospitalized ho gaya..poora march theek hone mein lag gaya..25th march 2011 ke aas paas main college waapis aaya.. Ab meri engg. Life ka sirf aur sirf ek April ka mahina reh gaya tha.. Mere 2nd mid terms miss ho gaye the bimaar hone ki vajah se.. Laut kar aaya to college walo ne bhot tang kiya mujhe…rule aa chuka tha RTU ka ki special mid terms nahin hua karenge.. Bahut bada matter hua fir college mein..main akele lada.. ‘Mrs. Nisha Gaur’, HOD thi meri jisne jee jaan lada di thi ki mere mid terms na ho aur practicals mein bhi mere kam marks aaye…(Mere class ke ke kuch politicians ne kaafi bhadkaya tha HOD ko mere against..long story, unimportant to be known).. Ye sab chal raha tha…April last se hamaare final exams the…
Is beech maine decide kiya ki main Pooja se kabhi baat to nahin kar paunga shaayad aur na hi hamesha yahan reh paunga use protect karne ke liye (Pooja ke bare mein main jis kisi ko bhi ulta kehte hue sunta tha, use acche se samjha deta tha..kuch matter hue the jo yahan batana zaruri nahin par jo koi suni sunaayi baatein failata tha, use main sahi kar deta tha).. To maine socha jo bhi main usse kehna chahta tha, wo use message de doonga…Par deta bhi kaise, mere paas uska no. nahin tha, waise uska number lena mere liye koi bada kaam nahin tha par main use tang nahin karna chahta tha..Wo baat kam sunti, ye zarur sochti ki uska no. kisi ko bhi mil jaata hai…isliye maine kabhi bhi uska number nikaalne ki koshish nahi ki…Phir maine orkut par uski profile search ki..main jaanta tha Facebook to wo use nahin karti hogi aur main sahi bhi tha…Orkut par dhoonda ..mujhe to uska poora naam bhi nahin pata tha abhi tak…bhot search kiya…patanahi kitni Pooja dikhi…kai ne to photos tak nahin lagaaye the…kuch ne kisi aur ke aise hi photo laga rakhe the(actress wagerah ke).. Finally maine bhot dhoondne ke baad kuch selected ladkiyo ko message bhej diya ki :
“Hi, actually Iam searching for a Pooja who’s in BU, Ajmer, Biotechnology 2nd year. If you are the one, then please reply. I have to talk to her urgently…Thanks”.
Iske baad kai din nikal gaye koi reply nahin aaya..fir ek din maine dekha ki facebook par Pooja ne apni profile banaayi thi jo ki pehle nahi thi…new profile thi..usne photo bhi laga rakha tha.. Par maine Pooja ko friend request nahi bheji… Bas fir kya tha, maine wo sab kuch use likhkar message kar diya jo main hamesha se usse kehna chahta tha.. Mujhe apna message bhejne ke baad bhot bhot zyaada sukoon mila. Aisa laga ki sabse zyaada zaruri kaam ho gaya. Mujhe ye chinta nahin thi ki wo reply karegi ya nahin..bilkul nahin thi…main to uska reply expect bhi nahin kar raha tha..par fir bhi aisa lag raha tha ki maine ek adhoora kaam poora kar liya..ab main tension free ho gaya tha…Mujhe apne upar itna vishwaas to zarur tha ki agar koi bhi us message ko padega to wo meri kuch baat to zarur maanega..zarur…itna confidence tha mujhe…aur main isse zyaada kuch chahta bhi nahin tha..Main vaapis apne exams ki taiyyari mein lag gaya… Jaanna chahenge aap log us message mein kya likha tha??? Ye raha mera Pooja ko likha wo pehla message….
Samarth Saxena to Poojaarya SinghApril 17, 2011 at 9:55 am
hi pooja, did u recognise me??
Samarth SaxenaApril 17, 2011 at 9:56 am
I don’t know where to start but dere’s something I wanted to say you always…There’s a lot I tried to explore ’bout you frm the time we talked once. In few days, I’ll leave the college..There’s a special request to you from me… See, you are here bcoz of only one reason i.e. study, rest all are secondary. Your parents should be your foremost priority who have so much trust in you that they have sent you 1000’s of kms. across home. Obviously padai ke saath masti bhi zaruri hai but you should balance it. Relationships is most imp. concern, please ALWAYS be with ‘right’ hands. Being your senior, I’ve a little more experience than you, so please. You have a life ahead to enjoy with style statements, status symbols etc. but right now it’s all fake and you’re so beautiful, I don’t think you need them.
I’ve done lotsa work for college in my 4 years and you know I’m the nominee for ‘Best Student Award’ this year but politics of our institute is so dirty that it hardly matters for me. What matters is self satisfaction that I’ve earned so many awards & rewards during these years which will contribute towards my development. Aur agar award mila bhi to kya hai, there’s no one to share those moments with me…my parents are working in delhi, they don’t have time for all this… :(
I mean, seriously I don’t know why I’m saying all these things to you but patanai I just felt like talking you..! Without permission, na to tumhe call kar sakta na friend request send kar sakta..isliye message!
In the end, main yehi kahunga ki agar tumhe meri baaton mein se koi ek baat bhi acchi lagi ho aur tum use follow karne ka atleast try karo, to main institute ke un 5000 students se upar feel karunga jo sirf self interest hi dekhte hain.. Uske baad koi award mile na mile farak nahi padta! I’ll be really happy! Shayad main college mein tumse ye sab nai keh paata, so here..bura laga to sorry, I’ll neva msg you again!
And if you are thinking why & how can a stranger talk all these things..the answer is… To me, you are my ‘Alisha’ who’s in sky and will never notice some things on ground!! Bye n Take care!
Waise tumhara haath kaisa hai ab? Take some gud medicines.
Pooja ke haath mein un dino chot lagi hui thi..mujhse pooche bina raha na gaya..isliye pooch liya!
2-3 din baad Pooja ka Finally reply aaya par orkut par. Aur phir shuru hui hamaari baat. Waise to wo bhot kam online aati thi (almost ek mahine baad reply kiya tha) par agle 4-5 din tak hamari daily baat hui orkut par aur 6th day tha Annual Function… Main apna screenshot bhej raha hun.. Isme hain Pooja ke bheje hue messages..(neeche se upar padna)..(Page ko zoom karke pad lena ya picture ko ‘save as’ karke..)
3 May se mere final exams the aur 26 April yaani annual function wala din aa gaya tha aur mere mid terms abhi tak nahi hue the. Wo matter abhi bhi chal raha tha college mein. Mid terms agar exams se pehle nahin hue to kabhi nahi hote. Maine to Pooja se uska no. nahi maanga par Pooja ke last message ke reply mein maine use apna no. diya tha taaki annual function wali raat koi bhi problem aaye to mujhe zarur bataaye.
Ye Annual function mere liye baaki annuals se thoda zyaada important tha kyunki ek to ye mera last Annual tha, doosra ye bhi ki is baar ‘Best Student of the year’ ka award hopefully mujhe milne wala tha… Mujhe hamesha ki tarah is award ko lene ka bhi koi shauk nahin tha par iccha isliye thi kyunki mere parents ko isse bhot khushi milti. Maine apne parents ko bulaaya bhi tha, wo aa bhi rahe the par us saal Annual function hi 2-3 baar shift ho gaya CM ki vajah se.. Jab 26 ko fix hua bhi to parents ne mana kar diya..unke paas time nahin tha.. Har baar ki tarah is baar bhi wahi hua…main akela tha.. Maine decide kar liya tha ki main bhi is baar annual par nahin jaunga par Pooja ne bola tha…main sirf aur sirf isiliye gaya tha…varna main annual par na jaakar college ka boycott karna chahta tha. Meri 4 saal ki mehnat ke baad bhi college ne mujhe kuch nahin diya tha…Na to financial support, na moral support aur jab main bimaari ki vajah se paper nahin de paaya, to college ne meri mid term karane tak mein koi help nahi ki…Isi sab se main bhot naraaz tha..Annual par mujhe 2-3 awards milne the, saath hi mere upar speech bhi boli jaani thi..mere na jaane se bhot impact hota, ye baat director sir aur sara college management jaanta tha….aur main isiliye nahin jaa raha tha..Par Pooja ne bola jaane ke liye to sirf uske liye aaya tha…
Annual function ki raat meri college life ki sabse haseen raat thi…sabse zyaada..Maine Pooja ko dekha..wo aage hi baithi thi…maine jab enter kiya to maine use dekha, wo bhi mujhe dekh rahi thi.. Main 1st row mein jaake baith gaya..wo girls wali side mein thi, mere peechhe.. Function hua ..mujhe 2 awards mile… mere 4 saal ki achievements par speech bhi hui..par ‘Best Student’ ka award us raat kisi ko nahin mila. Iske peechhe bahut badi kahaani hai par chunki mujhe us award se koi farak nahin padta isliye us kahaani ko bataane ka bhi koi matlab nahin hai..Par is gande kaam ke peechhe bhi tha ‘Yash Chawla’..Use pata lag gaya tha award mujhe diya jaane wala hai, to usne chairman sir se kuch baat ki thi.. Yash ko talwe chaat kar logo ko patana aata tha, yehi to kiya tha usne 4 saal, isliye management ne uski baat maan li aur main hamesha se akele ke dam khada hua tha, isliye meri koi value nahi thi unki nazro mein…Award Yash ko bhi nahin mil paaya kyunki college wale jaante the agar Yash ko award diya gaya to issue ho sakta hai kyunki next day Mr. Karizzma bhi usko dena fix tha…khair maine kaha na mere liye uski koi value nahin hai.. Ye politics to hamaare college ki fitrat mein hai.. Jab isse pichhle saal meri senior ‘Arti Ahuja’ ko Best student ka award nahi dekar us kamine ‘Anil Yadav’ ko diya gaya tha, mere liye usi din is award ki value khatam ho gayi thi… Aur waise bhi what matters is ‘Self-learning and Self-development’, not ANY award in this whole world.
Function raat ko late night khatam hua..main Pooja se mil to nahin paaya kyunki us din main bhot se students ke beech fansa raha…Jab sab jaane lage to mujhe laga patanahi Pooja sahi se chali jaayegi ki nahi (Annual eve par hamare colg ke students kuch acche kaam nahi karte baahar baith kar)… Un logo ki bus aayi thi baahar. Main bhi baahar tak gaya dekhne ke liye. Light bhi nahin thi, baahar badmaash students halla kar rahe the hamesha ki tarah..Pooja n Sweta saath hi thi..maine unko dekha Vikas Sir ke saath (boys hostel ka warden ‘nisachar’). Fir wo log bus mein baithe par bus mein itni bheed thi ki jab boys chadne lage to bhot halla hua…Fir girls ko nikaala gaya..tab maine Pooja ko dekha, wo pareshaan ho rahi thi, maine socha vikaas sir se baat karne ki par Pooja ki privacy ke liye main chup chap khada dekhta raha..fir unko doosri bus mein bithaaya..almost raat ke 11:30 baj rahe the…jab unki bus chali gayi, tab main wahan se gaya..hostel mein bhi light nahin thi…hum log aise hi thake hue pad gaye bed par..
Almost 12 – 12:30 baje ek message aaya mere paas “Saxena ji aap to chha gaye..congratulations!!” Mujhe laga pata nahi koi hoga..unknown numbers se students karte rehte the mujhe contact..maine reply kar diya ‘who’s this?’ Reply aaya ‘Pooja’ aur main gir gaya apne bed se!! hahahahahahaha…sach hai ye! Mujhe yakeen nahin hua and maine immediately call kiya. Fone uthate hi jab maine uski aawaaz suni, meri to jaise..kya bolun ab!! Hahahahahahahaha.. boli party kab de rahe ho? Maine kaha jab tum chaho..thanks karne lagi..boli abhi ke abhi main apne ghar par baat karun kyunki maine apne ghar par bat nahin ki thi gusse mein. Samjhaane lagi…Maine kaha ki “Aaj ki raat meri life ki tumhe dedicated hai..including the awards”, to bhot khush hokar boli..
”thank u so much but I don’t deserve it really, it’s for you and ur parents”
…Maine fir kaha “na, aaj ke awards to bas tumhe”..to bhot khush thi and thanks kar rahi thi. Bas fir maine bola baad mein baat karte hain..jaake so jao abhi..par ye to bahaana tha, asliyat mein meri to haalat kharab hui padi thi usse baat karke…hahahahh aahahahahaha… kya karta apni ‘ALISHA’ se jo baat kar raha tha first time..
Agle din subah subah hi uska message aa gaya tha…kareeb 8 baje par main soya hua tha..maine 10 baje uthkar usko reply kiya and phir poora din baato mein nikal gaya..shaam ko farewell tha..usne bhot kuch bataaya apne bare mein..ya fir shaayad sab kuch!! Us raat mujhe ‘Mr. Attire’ ka title mila…jahan sab log mujhe congratulations de rahe the, juniors aakar mil rahe the, wahin doosri taraf main Pooja ko baar baar call kar raha tha..Main jaise hi side mein jaakar usko call karta, koi na koi junior aakar baat krne lagta, wo keh deti “fone rakho”. Duniya bhar ke log aa rahe the mujhse milne including teachers par meri khushi share karne ke liye sirf Pooja thi mere paas..Finally wo boli ‘aap jab free hokar hostel jaana tab batana, main jagi rahungi’..maine keh diya theek hai..par sab kuch khatam hone ke baad jab main finally room mein shaanti se baitha to 12 baj chuke the..maine socha ab kal hi baat karunga, kya disturb karna…par thodi hi der mein uska call aa gaya..boli ‘abhi tak free nahi hue kya?’..wo tab tak mera wait kar rahi thi…mujhe thoda bura laga but then fir baat ki maine..
Uske baad se hamaari baat hone lagi…bhot baatein hone lagi…messages ke alawa…calls par bhi ghanto.. Pooja ne ab tak mujhe apne bare mein har chhoti badi baat bata di thi..usne mere kuch bhi poochne se pehle apne bare mein sab kuch bata diya tha…wo mujh par bhot trust karti thi.. Usne mujhe apni life ke bare mein bhot kuch bataya..Hum log bhot acche frnds ban gaye the.. Lekin main apni is Relationship ki limit ko acche se jaanta tha..
Idhar 3 May se mere exams the, maine apne pehle paper ke liye kuch pada bhi nahin tha..ye dekhkar mere frnds ne Pooja ko bol diya ki wo mujhse baat na kare kyunki maine bilkul padai nahi ki hai.. Ye mujhe nahi pata tha..Pooja achanak hi mujhe avoid karne lagi..jab bhi call karta, keh deti “busy hun baad mein baat karungi”..raat ko karta to keh deti neend aa rahi hai kal baat karegi aur kehti rehti main bhi jaakar padai karu..Main samajh gaya aur maine apne frnds se poocha to unhone bata diya..Maine fir Pooja ko cal karke poocha tab jaakar boli ki wo nahi chahti ki uski vajah se meri padai mein koi prob aaye aur fir log bole kuch..isiliye wo aisa kar rahi thi..wo boli hum sirf ek baar baat karenge wo bhi agar zaruri hua jab tak exams chalenge..par mujhe to uski aadat si ho gyi thi…Fir bhi padai ke liye, main maan gaya.. Mera pehla exam Computer Networks ka tha jiske liye maine kuch bhi nahi pada tha par 2 din mein maine wo poora subject taiyyar kar daala.. Isi beech Pooja ka industrial tour jaana hua Masoori, dehradoon aur haridwar..bhagwan jaane kis angle se ‘Industrial Tour’ lag raha hai.. :) Main udaas tha wo jaa rahi thi..wo yehi samjhaati rahi ki phone pe baat to karegi hi..par patanahi mujhe kyun itna bura lag raha tha..wo 6 din ke liye jaa rahi thi aur fir isi month, uske kuch din baad mujhe jaana tha hamesha ke liye delhi… Main bhot udaas ho gaya..patanahi kyun..waise bhi to wo phone par hi baat karti thi..par uske jaane ki baat sunke main pareshaan ho gaya. Usne to bhot samjhaya..par fir bhi..Uske senior ‘Tohid’ ko special instruction diye maine Pooja ka dhyaan rakhne ko…wohi inka tour organizer tha.. Actually uske class ke aur uske biotech ke seniors hi us par line maarte the, usne bataya tha mujhe, isiliye main thoda sa pareshan tha..par who bhi sherni thi ek no. ki…mjhe samjhane lagi abhi aa jaungi kuch dino mein jab tak main dhyaan se apne exams doo..Man to uska bhi nahi tha bilkul bhi jaane ka par tour compulsory kar diya tha kamino ne… Pooja se baat karne ke baad maine jaana ki wo jaisi dikhti hai waisi bilkul nahin hai…wo to kuch problems ki vajah se wo aisi gumsum si rehti thi college mein…warna Pooja bhot bhot chanchal dimaag ki hai..har time masti krti rehti hai..aur thodi si Naadaan bhi hai..Mujhe chidaati rehti thi..kehti “Main to chali Dehradoon ki vaadiyon mein, haridwar ki nadiyo mein aur masoori ki ghaatiyo mein”…hahahahahhahahaha…paagal! Jab dekho tab shuru ho jaati…finally chali hi gayi..I don’t know why but main bhot upset tha uske jaane se…mera roommate Narendra jaanta hai meri kya condition thi..usne mujhe bhot samjhaaya..maine bhi bhot koshish ki..Semester exams bhi chal rahe the..Aise hi time nikalta gaya…uske jaane ke baad bhi usse khoob baatein hoti thi..wo bhi time milte hi call kar deti.. Phir wo tour se lauti..mere bhi exams khatam ho gaye the…
Ab main aap logo ko wo baatein batana chahta hun jisse ‘Shashank’ ka aur uske jaise sabhi logo ka nangapan saamne aa sake.. Aap sab ko yaad hoga maine upar ke pages mein kuch baatein likhi thi jo ‘Mr. Shashank’ ne ‘kisi’ se sunkar bade hi confidence ke saath kahi thi. Wo sab ek baar fir dekhte hain, par is baar sirf Sach ke saath :
1. Sweta/Pooja ke bed ke neeche se aaj tak koi beer ki bottle nahi mili. Ye ek banaayi hui baat hai. Ek baar saari girls hostel ki girls kahin party karke aayi thi kisi ke b’day ki to fruit beer lekar aa gayi thi..to usi ki bottles thi.. Main umeed karta hun aap logo ko Beer aur Fruit Beer jaisi cheez mein fark pata hoga! Fruit beer is nothing more than any other soft drink (0.00% alcohol).
2. Sweta CJ ke saath ghoomti zarur thi par is baat ka aajtak koi proof nahin hai ki Sweta aur CJ ke beech physical relation tha. Maine bhot detail mein pata kiya tha.
3. Pooja bhi ek ladke ke saath ghoomti thi jab wo 1st year mein thi but wo sab zyaada din nahin chala..Aur aaj ke time mein kisi ladki ka ladke ke saath ghoomne ka matlab ye to nahi ki un dono mein physical relations hain…kya main galat hun?? Pooja ne kabhi bhi koi ulta kaam nahi kiya. Balki us ladke ne ek baar apni limit cross karke Pooja ki advantage lene ki koshish ki thi, to Pooja ne uske saath saare relations khatam kar diye usi time se. Aur yehi wo incident tha jiski vajah se wo bhot disturbed thi aur college mein bhi gumsum si rehti thi. Pooja ne mujhe kasam di thi uska naam na poochne ki par baad mein mujhe maaloom pada wo jaanwar kaun tha. Baad mein wahi hua, us ladke ne Pooja ke bare mein ulti seedhi baatein bana di aur college mein faila di..aur shashank jaise ladko ne use masala samajhkar aur zyaada bada chada kar bataaya. Yehi sach hai.
4. Rahi baat Pooja aur Sweta ke gifts ki? Sab exaggerate kari hui, banaayi hui baat hai unhe badnaam karne ke liye. Asli baat ye hai ki Pooja ka real bhai uske liye gifts bhejta tha wo bhi sirf ya to raksha bandhan par ya uske b’day par, Chennai se (jahan se wo apni engg. Kar raha hai). That’s all! Not even a word more!
Ye sab banaayi hui baatein, jise duniya ne sirf ek doosre ke muh se suna tha, maine unhi sab baton ko khud us insaan se suna tha jis par ye beeti thi (Pooja), wo bhi bina kuch bhi pooche…Usne mujhe apni har baat bata di thi..bilkul saaf dil se.. Wo ye baat acche se jaanti thi ki college mein uske liye bhot si gandi baatein hoti hain aur isiliye wo bilkul chup chap rehne lagi thi..par use is baat se zara bhi fark nahin padta tha ki log uske bare mein kya sochte hain kyunki asliyat to sirf usko pata thi. To jab usne koi galat kaam kiya hi nahi, to wo kyun parwah karti kisi ki.. But han ek ladki ke liye, duniya mein sabse badi cheez hoti hai uski izzzat (atleast Indian girls ke liye), to koi agar uske character par ungli uthaaye to use bhot bura lagta hai…SABSE ZYAADA BURA…aur yehi reason tha Pooja ki khamoshi ka… Pooja ne mujhe sab bataya ki wo 1st year wale incident ke baad se, she was pissed off! She felt very bad..aur uske baad se use Ajmer se, college se, college ke har insaan se nafrat ho gayi..aur wo jald se jald vaapis ghar jaana chahti thi(Bokaro).. Par kya karti wo? Na to ghar par batakar kisi ko tang karna chahti thi aur na hi khud kuch kar paa rahi thi.. she was in a kind of depression. 1st year mein to ghar se pehli baar baahar nikla hua ladka tak buri tarah parshaan ho jaata hai, wo to ek ladki thi aur uske upar se ye sab chal raha tha uske saath.. Usne mujhe bataaya ki us time par jab main uski wo photo lekar uske paas gaya tha, to wo bhot pareshaan thi..isiliye mujhe thanks bhi nahi kar paayi aur wo photo wali baat sunkar to aur dukhi ho gayi.. To ye tha Pooja ki life ka ek part.
Wo hamesha kehti rehti…ki main bhot acchi baatein karta hun, use bhot accha lagta hai..Kehti usne apni saari life mein mere jaisa ladka nahi dekha.. Kehti thi main hamesha uske saath rahun.. Phir ek din usne bataya, uska 12th mein ek boyfrnd tha (jo ab IIT mein hai) but boli ‘wo kutta tha’..hahahahhahahhaha.. Thode hi time mein usko jab us ladke ki asliyat pata lagi..to usne sab khatam kar diya..Uske baad se usne kabhi bhi koi relationship nahin ki..Yahan bhi 1st year mein Pooja us ladke ko sirf ek frnd maanti thi, usse zyaada kuch nahi but jab wo had se aage bad gaya to usne sab khatam kar diya… Pooja gusse se boli “aapko to yehi lagta hoga ki main 5-10 murge fansa kar rakhti hun, maanoge to ho nahin”..hahahahahahhaha Par main us naadaan ki har baat maanta tha.. fir khud hansne lag jaati..uske saaf dil ko padne laga tha main..aur sach ye bhi tha ki wo mujhse kuch bhi jhooth nahin bol paati thi…sab kuch sach sach bata deti thi chahein koi bhi problem ho…
11 May ko mere exams khatam ho gaye…Wahin mid terms wale matter mein end mein meri jeet hui..Bhot si pareshaaniyan aayi par sab kuch face kiya maine. Meri 4 saal ki mehnat se banaayi hui image ke aage college ki authority tik nahin paayi aur sabko agree karke action lena hi pada.. For the very 1st time, RTU se special permission aayi mere liye…mujhe allow kiya gaya mid terms ke liye(Courtesy : Dean, Vineet Khanna Sir)..semester exams ke baad..ek din Mujhe 4 answer sheets de di gayi aur bola gaya 1 ghante mein karna hai chaaro exams ko…hahahahhahaha…maine apni marzi se har subject mein 3 questions kar diye…hostel se kitaabein manga li thi..Mujhe is tarah se exam deta dekhkar students shocked reh gaye…unhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha…koi teacher bhi nahi rok paaya mujhe, sab to jaante hi the..end mein sab meri side ho gaye the except that bitch ‘Nisha Gaur’.. Sweta bhi wahin us Lab mein baithi thi…mere saamne baithkar apni frnds se bolne lagi “Pooja aa gayi hogi shaayad..kitne din se dekha nahin use kuch logo ne”…hahahahahhahahah…mujhe indirectly chhed rahi thi…actually usi din Pooja aa rahi thi vaapis apne tour se..
Phir raat ko jab maine usko call kiya to usne khoob baatein ki…bhot khush rehne lag gayi thi wo bhi ab..Sweta ka next day viva tha…Pooja se boli “hamara bhi source lagwa do na ECE dept. mein, sir ki baat to koi nahin taalega”..maine kaha chalo pehle main yahan viva le leta hun, agle din use colg jaane tak ki zaruat nahin padegi agar mujhe sahi se de diya…Sweta boli “na baba rehne do, college mein dena zyaada better rahega”…hahahahahahhahahaha..ek no. ki darpok dono ki dono! (Par fir maine uske sir se baat kar li thi)..
12th May 2011:
Ab mere paas zyaada time nahin bacha tha Pooja ke saath..Abhi tak maine apko Pooja ki baatein bataayi.. Par kya aapko pata hai meri wo kaunsi baatein thi jo Pooja ko bhot acchi lagti thi?? Jise sunkar uski life change hone lagi thi..jise sunne ke liye wo bechain rehne lag gayi thi… Jise sunkar wo kabhi bhi mujhse door jaana nahi chahti thi…………….wo ye thi…
Maine kabhi bhi, na to koi bhot mahaan baat ki, na hi kabhi usse baat karne se pehle kuch bhi soch kar rakha ki kya baat karunga, aur na hi kabhi bhi ladkiyo ko impress karne wali koi bhi special tarah ki baat ki… Maine jab jab usse baat ki to sirf aur sirf apne dil ki wo baatein ki jo main picchle 2 saal se usse kehna chahta tha… Sacche dil se bas kehta gaya…kehta gaya…bina ye sche ki use accha lagega ya nahin..
Main jaanta tha bhagwaan ne mujhe Pooja se is time par milaaya hai jab ki mujhe bilkul bhi expected nahin tha… Main har us pal ka full use karna chahta tha.. Main Pooja se kabhi kuch nahin kehta, bas usko sunta jaata, sunta jaata… Use sunna hi mujhe achha lagta tha…uski baat sunta, fir jahan use kuch samjhana hota wahan use samjhata.. Kabhi kabhi to wo kehti “hamesha main hi bolti rehti hun, aap apne baare mein kuch kehte hi nahin kabhi”…kaise batata usko ki kitni chinta hai mujhe uski har pal..kuch din baad mujhe jaana tha..bas use jitna ho sake sunna chahta tha..meri life mein to waise bhi kuch nahin tha share karne laayak.. Use naye tarah se jeena sikhata tha main..problems se ladna sikhata tha..Uske din mein khana khane se lekar uski life ke goal tak samjhata tha main.. Main nahin jaanta tha Pooja ki life mein koi accha ladka uske laayak aayega ya nahin par darta tha ki agar koi galat ladka aaye to Pooja pehchaan sake use.. Main ye jaanne laga tha ki Pooja ke man mein kya chal raha tha par main jitni jaldi ho sake use badalna chahta tha..pehle se better banana chahta tha..aur KUCH NAHIN… Uski har chhoti badi aadat jaanta tha main..aur uski har buri aadat ko badalne laga..Mere kehne se bechari ne ek baar hamari mess ka khana bhi khaya par usko ulti ho gyi…hahahahahahahhaha (mast aloo tinda bana tha us din).. Pooja jab jab meri baat na maanti, main usse baat nahi karta..but fir wo tang ho kar maan leti..wo reh nahi paati thi mujhse baat kiye bina..aur shaayad main bhi nahin…..par main majboor tha…..
Aisa nahin tha ki main use koi lecture diya karta tha par main jis tarah use samjhata, wo samajh jaati thi aur meri har baat maanne lagi thi.. Wo bhi meri bhot care karti thi..zara si khaansi bhi aa jaaye to zidd karti thi ki dawai kyun nai li..use pata tha last month main hospitalized tha..to hamesha meri medicines poochti rehti..nahi khaayi hoti to fone kaat deti ek second mein hi…paagal..hehehhe…
Jab jab main usko hansaata…to uski hansi sunke bas jee uthta…fir kabhi kabhi jab mera mood off hota to usse keh deta “chalo zara hans ke batao, mujhe sunna hai”..hahahhahahahahah..fir wo sach mein hans padti…! Isi tarah mujhe uska naam lena bhot bhot accha lagta tha…to fone karte hi main ‘Pooja Pooja..” bolne lagta tha…wo jaanti thi…aur hansne lagti thi…hehehhehe. Fir mere chup ho jaane ke baad wo bhot pyaari tarah kehti “hanji saxenaji, bataiye na, agar mere naam se aapka man bhar gaya ho to”..haaye uska wo “saxenaji” kehna to mujhe bhot pasand tha..hahahahhahahahahah..uske baad hi hamaari baat start hoti. Wo hamesha mujhe ya to ‘aap’ karke bolti ya to jab kabhi mera mood off hota to ‘saxenaji’…and kabhi kabhi jab mera man karta to main khud hi usse bol deta “chalo zara mera naam leke batao to, mujhe sunna hai”…tab bhi mera naam kabhi nahi leti aur sharma kar keh deti “saxena ji”..hahahahahhahaha…darpok!
Par wo mere alawa jab bhi kisi aur senior ki baat karti to seedha naam bolti..aur kuch naamo ke aage Mr./Ms. Lagane ki bajaye kutta/kutti zarur bolti thi…kehti yahan koi bhi dhanka nahin hai…to maine usko seniors ki respect karne ko kaha…chahein unse kuch lena dena ho ya nahin but respect honi chahiye..kuch badmaasho ko chhodkar.. Jab maine usko bataaya ki maine uski class ke ek ladke se (Ashish Lohar) uski enquiry ki thi..Us ladke ne bataaya tum mein bhot attitude hai…ye sunte hi to wo Ashish par bhadak gayi, boli “ab main isko dikhati hun apna attitude”….hahahahahahahah.. boli “iski to ragging loongi main”..hehehehehe…paagal! Mujhe bhi bhot chhedti rehti thi..kehti thi maine apne gunde laga rakhe hain uske chaaro taraf college mein…hahahahahah.. Kyunki main usko kabhi kabhi aisi baat bata deta jo sunkar wo shocked reh jaati aur kehti mujhe kaise pata laga… Usko kya pata, wo mere liye kya maayne rakhti thi…aur maine use kabhi pata bhi nahin lagne diya..
Mujhe Pooja ki aadat ho gayi thi par main shaayad ye nahin samajh paaya ki usse kahin zyaada Pooja ko bhi kisi ki aadat ho gayi thi…..han wo main tha…
13 May 2011 :
Par main ye nahin chahta tha..mujhe is baat ka andaaza bhi nahin lag paaya… Time tezi se aage bad raha tha..mujhe 14,15,16 ko delhi mein IES ka exam dene jaana tha aur fir 19-20 May tak apna saara samaan leke Delhi shift hona tha. Maine decide kiya ki ab time aa gaya hai Pooja ki life se jaane ka… Maine soch liya ki 13 May ko jab main jaunga to usko bata doonga ki ab hum baat nahi karenge.. Maine aisa hi kiya… waise to kuch din pehle se hi main Pooja se keh raha tha…bhot kam time bacha hai..jaane ka time aa raha hai…par wo nadaan nahin samjhi…kuch nahin samajh paayi..wo keh deti “phone nahin hai kya? Hum roz baat karenge..pukka..aap kyun itna sochte ho?” 13 taarikh ki raat ko main station par baitha tha..train mein time tha..Pooja ko fone karne ke liye himmat to bhot thi par na jaane kyun us raat main aisa ho gaya jaise main ek fone se maano apni saari zindagi ko hi khud se door karne ja raha hun.. Meri saari himmat tootne lagi.. Pooja, meri dream girl, meri ‘Alisha’..jisko paane ke main to shaayad sapne dekhne ke laayak bhi nahi tha, wo mere bhot nazdeek thi us raat.. Jisse door hone ke kahayal se bhi main darta tha, us raat mujhe wohi kaam karna tha…(Reason baad mein batata hun)…dimaag bilkul kharaab ho gaya…finally maine apni nas nas se himmat juta kar Pooja ko call kiya…wo hamesha ki tarah us raat bhi bhot masti se baatein karne lagi..bhot khush thi wo ki main apne career ki starting karne jaa raha hun.. Keh rahi thi “ dhyaan rakhna apna aur delhi jaate hi jo bhi no. lo, sabse pehle mujhe dena, khana aur medicines tym se khaana, main poochti rahungi”..usko pata tha us pagli ki kahi koi bhi baat main nahi taalta tha…mujhse nahi raha gaya, finally maine usko 1st time beech mein hi roka aur kaha “Pooja”, wo boli “ ji saxenaji”…aur meri aankho mein na jaane kahan se paani aa gaya… :( :( :(
Par main ruka nahin, kaise rukta, majboor tha…bhot majboor…maine kaha �
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