What if you are broken? What if you were put down? What if the person you knew suddenly changed and left you behind?
Well let me introduce you to my amazing friend Becky. She is one heck of a girl. One of the strongest girls I have met!..Well in school Becky was not that much popular. She was always ridiculed because of the way she used to present herself. Well it was not because she wasn’t cool but it was because of her so called friends who would never let her express herself. Whatever she said would be treated as a joke or else her friends would go on saying “Nice one!”,”Do you have more stories?” and much more.
All of these things left her an introvert and she would think a million times before uttering a word!..She used to be a free frank person hanging out with everybody. She broke the so called barrier that girls cannot talk with boys! She would be hanging out with boys, focusing in studies too and damn she was beautiful, then why was she so shattered in Grade 11?..Well her story is as tangible as it gets.
She started suffering from anxiety as she knew that she will be made fun of. She would try to take measures in order to avoid being bullied. It went to such an extent that she doubted even her own self and the worst part was that on the top of all this anxiety, she was molested by her science tutor when she was in Grade 11. She was already branded a slut because she hanged out with boys and now after this incident she felt everything was over.
She started having flashbacks and was stuck in an unwanted loop from which she would never come out. She started suffering from depression. She tried many ways to kill herself. Her eyes were always down. She couldn’t even face herself in the mirror and at this point of time when her buddies laughed at her or couldn’t understand her state,she was done. She was done with all the good moments she had. She forgot the last time she laughed. She thought that she would be disowned by her parents. All sorts of disgusting thoughts came to her mind.
It was during her final exams in Grade 11 when there was an emotional outburst. Her parents were lost and confused on what had happened to their sweet and jolly daughter. Becky’s elder sister Amanda was concerned too. She took her to a corner in their home and then consoled her. She asked her what was wrong?..Becky started crying bitterly and there was nothing she could say. All she could do was to cry like anything. Amanda pursued with her non-chalant attitude continuously poking Becky and asking her what was wrong and then finally Becky said what she couldn’t say in all these days.
Amanda hugged her. She was devastated with what her sweet and bubbly sister had to go through.She said only one thing “I,mom and dad will always be there with you when the sun goes down!”..
Although this didn’t stop Becky from crying but somewhere it did put a little water on the fire she was having inside her heart. In school Becky shared her problem with some of the teachers she trusted. These teachers joined hands together to treat that sick ba**urd a lesson. Becky felt that all her troubles were finally answered with a bang and guess what she did to her pseudo friends?..She tossed them over the yard!..
As school was over Becky finally learned to move on.She started looking at the brighter side of things and a few days later she got admitted to Bayside school of Arts!..Need I say anything more?..There she got to know how much people liked her!.
“When there are certain situations when everything goes wrong,there are only a few people who will beat the s**t out of those people who try to destroy your cool!..These people will do anything to make you smile and will always push you to walk with your head held high!..No these people are not your parents or sister or any other person with whom you are related biologically.These are your hostel mates”..
Becky got some amazing hostel mates too. She could relate with them in each and everything and she would never feel lost as she used to be in school. She could be herself and damn she could be crazy,wild,studious,funny everything at the same time. She loved her new life in the university.
When did she learn she was beautiful?,when some of the most popular boys in her class started talking too her and found her cute. Well I don’t want to boost anything but I was also one of those boys who found her charming..Becky was charming and as freshers,we were all newbies in the college and it was Becky who showing me the way to the class. I didn’t see anyone while walking in the hallway with her, I gazed at the way she talked, the way she smiled,the way she interacted,..She was downright gorgeous. I would act really stupid when I would see her and somewhere I would always think about her the entire day.
.Okay now lets focus on Becky again!!…Becky had an amazing friend called Beezus. They were like besties and would be seen everywhere from the local momo restaurant to the nearby ice cream parlour. It was Beezus who told me that Becky found me cute.When Beezus told me that I started blushing like anything. After so many popular,amazing boys why me?..It was literally a crazy feeling. But unfortunately all of this happiness didn’t last long.
Beezus started avoiding Becky because of some new friends she made.The only bestie Becky had now ignored her because of the fact she made new friends.The saddest part was that Beezus’ new friends were the ones who were once totally against Becky once because of a misunderstanding and that was the time when a girl called Britney made Becky’s life horrible and now Beezus found it cool to hang out with Britney and her friends. Although Britney and her friends tried to be friendly with Becky but the hole left in Becky’s heart was too big to be filled as the problem involved her sister Amanda.
Britney was one of the disgusting people one could come across. She was jealous of Becky and out of jealousy she hacked Becky’s facebook profile and sent nasty messages to Amanda. Amanda was going through the worst phases of her life then as the person she loved and knew for almost a decade,her childhood friend, her love had used her and had left her without any proper explanation and between all this Britney did all that nonsense. Becky was fine the next day but it pierced her heart when Beezus still continued to go to Britney’s room and ignored her having a gala time with Britney.
It took Beezus days to realize what she did was wrong and she apologized to Becky like anything. Becky forgot everything and she did forgive Beezus. But unfortunately it was just a “Sorry”..Beezus would completely leave Becky in her room and would love playing games and having fun with Britney and her friends. Beezus was lost again.It felt history was repeating itself. Becky felt all alone. She started staying aloof from everybody. It was like everything was repeating itself.
Becky turned desperate to get Beezus as her bestie in her life.She even told Beezus what was wrong and where they had gone wrong.Beezus always came up with bland explanations and at the same time she told Becky that she will never be able to ignore Britney and her friends just because Becky had some problems with them.Beezus’ point seemed valid but Becky also wanted Beezus to atleast give her some attention,enjoy with her,take a selfie with her,go out and be crazy with her,check out the boys as they did always and laugh like anything together.Oh dear,all of these were flashbacks. Beezus was never there.She had transformed into this new person and now everything about her seemed new to Becky.
What Becky previously knew about Beezus were all proving to be false.She had totally changed.Becky now thought that this couldn’t be the same person she one once knew. Beezus now started hiding many facts from Becky.This was enough to make Becky lose her mind.She couldn’t concentrate on anything,not even her exams.She gave exams as if she wanted to get rid of her exams.
“When something bad happens,you are reminded of all the bad things that had happened in your life..all the good memories become your dreams..your expectations are over…you don’t know what to do..It feels as if you are in front of crossroads..even if there is a ray of light,you keep on bouncing it back..all the sad songs play in your stupid mind and you suddenly start understanding the lyrics of the songs you hear and you try to relate with those songs”..
Becky started suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.It was during these examinations when I confronted Becky.She was ignorant at first acting as if everything was fine but then She finally felt like it was time to share her misery.There was a place near our university.It was peaceful with fields and rocks and trees.I took Becky there along with Shelly,Shalini and Victor (Two other amazing persons we could trust).Becky broke down.She told us everything.Whatever I have been narrating about Becky since the beginning about her life was spoken right now.
After listening to Becky,all of our legs shaked. Shalini told her “People change and its difficult to adjust.But life has to go on.Look at all the amazing people around you!”,I,Victor and Shelly happily raised our hands.There were tears of joy from Becky’s face.We assured her that We will always be there for her.To cheer Becky,Victor played his guitar and I sang along with him.This was the time when I geared up my courage and trembling I told Becky “Two roads diverged in the woods and I’m sure you’ll take the road less travelled by”..
Shelly told Becky “There is nothing called depression.Its your mind which is creating an illusion.You feel as if everything is over but it is not so.If anything bad comes into your mind,it is you who can challenge it,tell it to get lost as you know who you are,nobody can mould you until you want them to mould you”..I told Becky “Our mind is like shell with whorls going outside.These whorls form the path through which we carry the bad thoughts and push them outside”..
Becky and I started singing the latest pop songs and everything went back to what it used to be..It was the day when we fell in love and we have been inseparable since then..So what if you are put down?..What if you cannot find what you are gonna do?…what if you give up?..Then read this carefully “Its never too late-never too late to start over,never too late to be happy. -Jane Fonda” and stay happy and keep smiling 🙂