“Good morning everyone” I greeted the students.
They reverted back, in a singing tone. It was the first day for me , as a high school algebra teacher. New profession, new school and new people around; I was extremely excited. I always followed one perception, if you can dream it, you can manage it; I believed it entirely through my spirit. I dreamt to be a teacher; and I am. I suppose I am best suited as this, no other profession could grant me so much happiness and gratification.
I started with the introduction, first gave mine and then from individual student. After, this I started to talk about algebra. Well most of the students seems less interested in this talk, few made funny faces while others were occupied in their talks; since it was the first day, I decided to keep it light and simple. I talked about the basics, how to be quick in solving lengthy calculations. The once interested, paid attention and participated in the conversation while others had a good time.
I followed the same pattern for a day in all the classes and sections. Though section “A” was little special, because I was appointed as the supervisor for it. As the days passed, students got comfortable, with my teaching style and techniques. They cooperated and I did in return. They helped me to know more about the school. They discussed about their previous teacher, some said good while others were unhappy because of her strict approach and arrogance. I then realised an important thing, teenage is a very crucial age, whatever perceptions are made during that time are hard to be altered for next few years at least.
While taking attendance one day, I realised, student named Amruta was on leave for almost three days, without any notice or leave application. I asked one of her friends, but she had no idea. I enquired about her from other students, few of them made faces of a kind while others said they have no idea. So I decided to make a call, and ask what’s wrong and also to tell her parents to get a leave note.
“hello, am I speaking to Amruta’s mother” I enquired.
“yes! Who’s is online” she reverted.
“It’s her supervisor from school, ma’am you need to come up with a leave note since Amruta is on leave for a long time,”
“Apologies! Will do that soon ma’am”
“By the way, what is wrong with her, why isn’t she coming?” I said softly.
“she was suffering from food poisoning, will join back in a week,”
“Ok, tell her to take care” I hung. I could feel the tension of Amruta’s mother; Especially with girls, she was sounding disturbed and worried.
“Ma’am, may I come in,” Amruta asked standing at the class door.
“yes, come in” I cited happily.
As she walked towards the bench to get seated, I called her and enquired about her health. Told her to be careful and avoid the outside stuff, so that she can recover soon; also mentioned about the upcoming exams and the assignments given.
The most difficult task a teacher has to go through is checking the notebooks. While I was going through them; I came across one which was not from my subject; in fact it did not belong to any subject. It was labeled as My Personal Book. It belonged to Amruta.
I was amused and excited since I had a similar kind of interest. While I was in graduation, even I kept a diary to pen down my experiences and feelings; though I really feel it’s too early for someone to write about their life at age of 15. It’s just the beginning, life has much more to show. I believed anyone of that age would only talk about books, exams, more exams, and cricket.
It’s bad to read someone’s personal stuff, still I decided to read few pages. As I started;it was the collection of letters that she has penned for Mayank, boy from our class.
——————–
To my love Mayank,
I love you more than my life. You are everything I ever wanted. How to make you understand this? Why do u ignore me like this? I love u so much.
I will prove, that the love I feel is pure and above everything. I am going to give away this life, if I can’t be with you.
It is useless to live without you, I just hate myself.
I love u more than my life.
Goodbye
Amruta
—————————
As I read the first one; I had no courage to read the next. I understood Amruta was not suffering from food poisoning; instead she might have got some wrong step. I was extremely disappointed, and at the same time was little sad. I could feel her pain and her rejection. It was not only about Amruta; it’s a common problem with every teenager, giving out in love. It’s fairly common to fall for someone who doesn’t return your feelings, and it can surely be irritating; but simply because one particular person does not share your interest that does not imply that there is something wrong with you. That particular match just isn’t right – possibly because of timing or fundamental differences that aren’t evident to you at this point. People don’t understand, when one door shuts, another opens up. That’s how the journey of life continues. Masses have a habit of judging different people, all the time, and hence rejection follows. It’s we who need to construct ourselves, pull in our self-potent enough to face life, and upcoming troubles with a bold spirit.
Love is a complicated thing with teenagers, and there are many emotions that young teenagers experience with their first love. The first time teenager fall in honey is a particular time in their lives, and the emotions they experience can stay with them for a lifespan. This is also a confusing time in the lives, and they will be confronted with many situations that go along with being in love. The biggest concerns that many teens may encounter with their first love is the reverence of being turned down, and then nobody else may ever require them. This may make many teens to feel forced to do things they may not usually perform. They may feel that they will miss the person they care about if they don’t manage things to show they love their partners.
I understood, she needed someone to hold her back, and explain what life is all about. Tell her what exactly it entails being in love. It is such a crucial age, that people don’t usually listen; they believe only the things they want to or may be the once their friends are citing. Whatsoever, I made up my judgment to tell Amruta; whatever she is practicing and succeeding is all awry.
I called for one of the students to call Amruta, so that I can speak to her about all the matter.
“Excuse me ma’am, you called me?” Amruta stands at the staff room’s door.
“Yes Amruta, please wait outside. I need to speak to you.” I responded.
I never wanted other teachers to know, about what Amruta was going through. Perhaps, because I felt she needed care instead of a thrashing. After all, she has not committed any crime, it’s merely that she loves someone.
” Amruta, you have submitted wrong notebook, as your algebra notebook.” As I returned her back, her personal book.
” Sorry Ma’am, I will submit it straight off, ” she replied with a pale face.
“I apologize, but I read first few pages of it”
“Ma’am, I am sorry, I won’t repeat it ever, will hurl this book in the bin,”
” Why? Why will you have it, you have not done any mistake by writing this, but definitely you are very wrong in your approach towards life and love,”
“Ma,am I am no-good, I knew I was wrong, I won’t ever repeat this in my life.”
“Amruta, life is not a bed of roses, it’s difficult. You require to accept the tough things, with the bold heart. Running from life is not a resolution, instead face it. ”
” Ma’am, I know and I am sorry,”
“It’s difficult that people will like you all the time, they might not, but that doesn’t mean you are not worth holding out. This spirit is yours, because you deserve it.”
“Ma’am, I am very sorry that I took such a wrong step”
“And for such a modest thing, just because some boy, doesn’t feel the same way like you do, it’s very sad”
“Yes maam, I saw my mistake, and I am never going to repeat it”
“Safe for you and your family, and kindly submit your algebra notebook. Plus please don’t hold this to school, your personal book” I smiled.
“Yes, Ma’am”
I was soothed by the conversation, and believed that hence onwards she won’t do anything wrong to herself and to her life. Sometimes, we are so depressed that all we need, is a support and someone to babble. Some good motivational stuff, boost our moral and thereafter we recognize the difference between right and wrong.
Conversing with Amruta helped me to remember the extreme time I confronted amid my graduation day, when I created feeling for my senior and who pushed me off, saying I am not by any means worth looking, disregard being cherished. He slipped away all the certainty I ever had. He strolled away. I sat on the ground, broken and broke. I could never love again. A year passed, however my affection for him never showed signs of change considerably after his savage words. I cherished him the same way I did the first day I saw him. That affection had made me a true young lady. A dear companion of mine; who was more delightful than me, got agreeable with him. It was finished with a reason to bring him to me. Anyhow as opposed to bringing him to me, she shared with him. They experienced passionate feelings for one another. There I choose and adapted; regardless of how hard you attempt, affection is something, in the event that it is intended to happen, it will. Else, whatever you attempt or do pays you nothing with the exception of more agony and misery; that shreds you with each exertion you make to achieve that individual.
Each one of us has fallen head over heels in love in that specific age when adore really appears supernatural. When you see the individual in every other cool looking fellow, when the affection stories touch your hearts to the degree of dropping tears, when the violins go hand in hand with you out of sight at whatever point you see the individual, when red is the main shade you like, when gathering the individual each time throw together butterflies in your stomach, and when there is no world past your phone. What’s more on the off chance that we discuss the unsuccessful affection stories, they were much more exciting.when losing yourself to love was totally imperative than losing yourself to books, when you never minded using that small scale pocket cash for that closest companion you furtively cherished, when viewing that individual with somebody delightful was harmful than a significant heart-assault, while doing homework twice or perhaps thrice was never considered some help and this one is my top choice when the individual admired you for being more adroit than her/his adoration forever.
As the days passed by, I could see Amruta showing signs of improvement with life and studies. I was fulfilled that my words helped her, and now she can proceed onward. Now and then, the ideal approach to help somebody is just to be close to them.
One day, while passing through the passage, I looked Amruta remaining with a kid. He was one evaluation senior to her; they were snickering and having great time. I was content to see her grinning, however was similarly made a fuss over what’s cooking between them. Is it true that it is just the fellowship they impart, or more than that? Since, its vital time for Amruta; she required to concentrate all the more on exams on the grounds that this chooses her profession.
“Amruta, how are your studies going?” I inquired, while everyone was busy performing their work in a free lecture “Ma’am, they are working fine, the Viraj is helping me” she responded.
“Ok, how do you know him?”
“Ma’am, he is my neighbour,”
“OK, great then, study well and maintain your concentration on exams”
“Yes, ma’am, and thank you so much for guiding me”
“I only helped you to choose a better path, so that you turn out to be a better person”
“Yes, ma’am, I am so obliged for that'”
Viraj was the popular boy of our school, though teachers hated him; but girls admired him a great deal. Tall, dark and handsome, basketball player; and a true Casanova. He was in the bad books for all the teachers who have ever instructed him. The point that amused me was, Viraj himself struggles with his subjects, how can he help Amruta?
Well, being senior to her, might just help; in all likelihood he could at least guide her few things, and share his experiences. Holding this in mind, I avoided to talk about it, and let it go. Amruta knows Viraj well; after all they were neighbors, it was kind of Ok, even if they share a talk and casual friendly relationship.
Chemistry in the middle of Viraj and Amruta was truly noticeable; all instructors were discussing it, lastly, English instructor called me discuss it. “Rajini, I think something is happening in the middle of Amruta and Viraj,” she said.
“No, I don’t think so ma’am; they are simply companions, since they are neighbors,”
“What? Neighbors? Who let you know that?” she looks dazed.
“Amruta specified that” I was befuddled.
“Ma’am, Viraj stays by my bungalow, and Amruta stays at some other area that is no less than 25 minutes from our own,”
“What? She let me know they are neighbors,”
“She lied, so now you can acknowledge, something is unquestionably happening between them,”
I always said the truth is best even when we find it unpleasant. Any rodent in a sewer can lie. It’s the way rats are. It’s what makes them rats. Be that as it may a human doesn’t run and stow away in dull spots, in light of the fact that he’s something more. Lying is the most individual demonstration of sissiness there is. Affection is a verb, not a thing. It is dynamic. Affection is not simply sentiments of energy and sentiment. It is conduct. On the off chance’ that somebody lies; the individual is acting gravely and unloving, and is disregarding relationship. Conceding her association with Viraj could get her in a bad position, still she should not lie about it, at any rate to somebody who knew her past and helped her to manage it.
Just once in your life, I really trust, you discover somebody who can totally turn your reality around. You let them know things that you’ve never imparted to an alternate soul and they assimilate all that you say and really need to hear more. You impart trusts for the future, dreams that will never work out, objectives that were never attained and the numerous dissatisfactions life has tossed at you. At the point when something brilliant happens, you can hardly wait to let them know about it, knowing they will experience your fervor. They are not humiliated to yell with you when you are harming or chuckle with you when you make a bonehead of yourself. Never do they offend you or make you have a feeling that you are bad enough, yet rather they develop you and demonstrate to you the things about yourself that make you exceptional and even wonderful.
There is never any weight, desire or rivalry yet just a calm smoothness when they are around. You can act naturally and not stress over what they will consider you on the grounds that they love you for who you are. The things that appear inconsequential to most individuals, for example, a note, tune or walk get to be important fortunes kept sheltered in your heart to love until the end of time. Memories of your youth return and are so clear and striking its similar to being adolescent once more. Colors appear brighter and more splendid. Chuckling appears to be some piece of the day by day life where before it was occasional or didn’t exist whatsoever. A telephone call or two amid the day serves to get you through a full day of difficult work and dependably brings a grin to your face. In their vicinity, there’s no requirement for persistent discussion, however you discover you’re very substance in simply having them adjacent. Things that never intrigued you previously get to be captivating in light of the fact that you know they are paramount to this individual who is so extraordinary to you. You think about this individual on every event and in all that you do.
Basic things bring them to a brain like a pale blue sky, delicate wind or even a storm cloud coming soon. You open your heart realizing that there’s a chance it might be softened one day and up opening your heart, you encounter an adoration and satisfaction that you never imagined conceivable. You find that being helpless is the best way to permit your heart to feel genuine joy that is so true it unnerves you. You discover quality in knowing you have a genuine companion and perhaps a perfect partner who will stay dedicated to the end. Life appears to be totally changed, energizing and beneficial. Your just trust and security is in realizing that they are a piece of your life.
Days passed, I could see Amruta becoming closer to Viraj’ yet I never addressed her. I needed her to feel the adoration that she ached for from Mayank. Regardless of how old we become, how savvy we get to be; love is something that is a crucial piece of our life and it drives everyone of us insane.
“Amruta, what was the deal? Why are you yelling?” I asked as I saw her standing in the corner of the hall.
“Ma’am I deceived you, Viraj is not my neighbor, and rather we stay at altogether different spots,”
“Alright, I realize that, however that could potentially not be the reason you are shouting about,”
“Yes, really Viraj broke my trust, something truly awful happened,”
“What happened let me know? I may have the capacity to help you” I helped her.
“It’s a long story ma’am; nobody can help me, I have made my life heck,”
“Alright, do one thing, come and see me at my spot, then will discuss it; there is nothing in this world that can’t be dealt with,”
I am generally a positive thinker. Whether that originates from nature or sustain, I can’t say. Part of being idealistic is keeping one’s head indicated the sun, one’s feet pushing ahead. There were numerous dim minutes when my confidence in humankind was woefully tried, however I would not and couldn’t surrender myself to gloom.
“Come in Amruta” as I opened the entryway.
“Hi, ma’am” she greeted.
“Be situated, will get you something to drink,”
“Much obliged to you’ ma’am,”
I knew children adoration to drink, soda pops; I instantly got one for her and a few snacks to crunch on. I attempted to make her agreeable, before we could discuss her issue. I generally accepted great discussions begin with solace.
“yes, so now let me know, what happened?”
” Ma’am, I liked Viraj, he just intrigued. He helped me in my studies, offered me books and a year ago papers. Things were going flawlessly fine, we were incredible companions, however all of a sudden one day while sitting together, he embraced me and made some repulsive signal. I let him know to stop it. He got irritated and strolled off. From that point forward, till today I am making a decent attempt to converse with him however he is not reacting. Indeed in the school, he is not appearing. One of his companions let me know, he is finished with me, since I am not his sort of a young lady; he needs fun and I am a genuine sort.”
“So that’s what your story is” I sighed and then I continued, “ he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs,”
“Yes, ma’am, I worship you excessively; such an exquisite instructor you are. Each understudy in our class prefers the way you handle our issues. We feel so fortunate to have you with us, particularly me, you helped me twice,”
“Amruta, I have been through teen too and have confronted comparable sort of inconveniences. At that point, nobody was there to help me, however today I am there to help you individuals with my direction and experience,”
“Ma’am, we are so obliged and I make a guarantee at this moment, I will make you feel pleased,”
“Yes, be solid and centered”
Love your isolation and attempt to sing out with the torment it causes you. For the individuals who are close you are far away… furthermore this demonstrates that the space around you is starting to develop vast…. be upbeat about your development, in which obviously you can’t bring anybody with you, and be delicate with the individuals who stay behind; be sure and smooth before them and don’t torment them with your questions and don’t scare them with your confidence or happiness, which they wouldn’t have the capacity to understand. Search out some straightforward and genuine feeling of what you have in a similar manner as them, which doesn’t fundamentally need to adjust when you yourself change over and over; when you see them, adore life in a structure that is not your and be liberal to the individuals who are becoming old, who are anxious about the aloneness that you trust…. what’s more don’t expect any seeing; however put stock in an affection that is, no doubt hid away for you like a legacy, and have confidence that in this adoration there is a quality and a gift so vast that you can go the extent that you wish without needing to venture outside it.
As the year passed, and everybody from my class cleared their exams with qualification. Amruta, was positioned among main 10 students of our school, holding the researcher brand; it was the best come about for the school in most recent 25 years. And after that one fine day, as I was exiting of the school, Amruta approached and said ” Ma’am, you are my coach, hope i have kept my promise and you hold pride, that you taught me”
“yes, totally; I am happy that I was relegated as a supervisor for your class'”
“Ma’am, we owe you our prosperity, every one of us,”
Everybody began to sing noisily “thank you madam,”
For me, instructor was not the person who shows something, however somebody who moves the understudy to give their best so as to find what they know. I call my students as my kids, they are part of my life and my heart. Being a teacher is my greatest work of art.
__END__