Funny Short Story – All’s Well That Ends Well!
Photo credit: xenia from morguefile.com
It was a bright cold morning and the alarm clock sounded sharp at 6 am, not a moment more, mercilessly barging into my dreams. I woke up pretty lost and confused not knowing who I was, where I was and what exactly I was doing at 6 in the morning. I looked across the room for a moment or two. Not remembering anything, I went back to sleep. That’s how it all started.
When I woke up for the next time, it was the usual alarm sounding at 8 am. I woke up, suddenly remembering who I was. It was an unusually quiet house for a Tuesday. My room-mate makes breakfast for the two of us on Tuesdays and she usually makes a lot of noise. I sat meditating, trying to gather the remnants of the dream, so that tonight I could continue dreaming from exactly where I had left off; when I suddenly remembered a thing or two from the night before, exactly where I had left them off before bed. My room-mate was out of the city, she was supposed to come back today and I was supposed to wake up, cook and complete an assignment. I had to submit it to pass the course and it was due early in the day. I jumped off from my bed, pushing my blanket and the dreams severed into pieces, leaving the chilly winds to make me dance to keep myself warm.
Whoever said that the deadline is the ultimate inspiration had never said a truer line. Fully inspired, I sat at the desk thinking about the sums, jumped across the room trying to get ready, still thinking about the sums and finally left the room, almost fully dressed, but I still couldn’t solve the sum. Nonetheless, I was inspired and I knew that I will be able to write something before submission. I shut the door, asked my brain to block the feeling of hunger and hurried to the bus stand.
The bus came at that precise minute and I hopped in. My brain took a leap as well and suddenly came across the answer. Just as I was about to take out my copy, the conductor asked me for my fare. To my greatest dismay, I realized that the purse was in my room and gave him a sad expression. It usually works when you are really pretty I guess, or I hadn’t done it right, but the next moment I was thrown out of the bus and was running all the way back home. I reached my door, almost out of breathe when I realized that I had shut the door, without taking the keys and hence, was securely locked out of my own house.
Luckily, my room-mate had spare keys and she would come back in the evening. Right now I had to find another way of reaching college. Standing outside my house, I was wondering what to do. Suddenly I saw the boy-next-door with his amazing bicycle. I loved him, truly, deeply, for a long time, but I do not recollect loving his bicycle so much. I shamelessly ran up to him and almost grabbed his cycle. “Is there anything you want to say?”, he asked pretty bewildered. “I am free this evening!”, I replied and with that I rode away into the streets, wondering if I really did utter the last line or was it someone else talking on my behalf. I had gone crazy. The day was moody and I was trying my best to follow its mood swings.
When I reached college, I was already late and they had locked the main entrance. The classes were on and I had to submit the assignment. My brain had given up thanks to all these excitements and I could not recall the solution to the problem anymore. But that was far from my concern right now. I had to find a way to get inside. Then it struck me- the wires on the wall at the back of the college and the little gap. How I wished I could fit in! I tried my luck. The security guard could not be seen and I jumped inside. I managed to get through. Just as I was trying to savour my victory, I saw the monstrous moustache of the security guard coming my way. I broke into a run. I ran all the way across the hallway, through the corridors, up the stairs, almost near my class-room, when I bumped into a lot of copies. Sorry, I bumped into a human being carrying a lot of copies. It was our class monitor, carrying all our assignments. What a bit of luck! Amid all the confusion and my apologies, I put my assignment inside the bunch. She was glowering and shouting and then she stopped all at once. She was looking at my back and I realized who it could be. “Aaaah, you little fool, so you thought you would get through?”, came the rough voice. A little delay and I found myself outside the Principal’s room and half an hour later, outside the college campus. The Principal was busy and had asked the guard to send me out and to leave me at that. I felt bad for the guard.
I got the cycle from where I had left it and decided to pick my room-mate from the airport. All the years of exercising were coming into some good use. The sun was shining bright and the cycling on the roads felt good; zigzagging through the market place, competing with the cars on the busy streets, I reached the empty roads outside the city with nothing but a stretch of green for miles. Humming to myself I rode for ages and reached the airport in good time, only to find that the flight was cancelled.
My life was smirking at me and I was smiling back. Standing outside I laughed for full five minutes before my muscles gave up. All this while I had been trying my best to forget the fact that I needed food (it wasn’t just a want anymore) and now hunger was reigning supreme. I was wondering whether to beg for food or sing and collect money. I looked around and saw a little boy holding a sandwich, with a lot of disinterest in his eyes. “You don’t need this, do you?”, I asked, when his mother wasn’t looking. He was still pretty disinterested, so I grabbed it and left. I did not turn back to see what happened, but I hoped that people travelling in flights can do some charity and this was one of the greatest charities that they could have done!
Somehow I managed to cycle all my way back; sometimes paddling, sometimes sitting and holding on to a truck and sometimes walking aimlessly. It was already dark when I reached my lane and found myself looking at my flat on the second floor. The only way in which I could enter was climbing up the pipe and sliding in through the kitchen window. After my performance earlier this day, I was a little confident. I had climbed up one floor when I heard a whistle blow. Clinging on to dear life, I saw a watch-man standing below my building, looking up and pointing towards me. “It is my house”, I wanted to shout but sound eluded me. I saw a cluster of people gathering below the building. I was still considering which way to go; up or down. Suddenly I spotted the boy-next-door in the crowd and my heart skipped a beat. His cycle was still with me and he could easily make things harder.
I saw him talking to the people who had gathered. Holding on to a pipe I traced his lips move. In a minute, I saw the guard calling me down. With a little effort I went down to the angry crowd but to my surprise, they dispersed. The guard scolded me a little and left, murmuring something about asylums. It was just him and me.
I could not face him anymore. “Hi”, he said. My brain was taking a break and I could not figure out which one to say first – Thank You or Sorry. As I stood like a stupid girl, tired, hungry, thirsty, messy and clumsy, waiting for him to shout at me, he broke the silence. “Considering what you said in the morning, (So I had seriously said something!) are you still free for a cup of coffee?”. The time must have stopped, or maybe it was my heart. My ears were taking their time to focus on the sound waves and my brain was taking a lot of time to process. Finally, after what seemed like ages, my legs wanted to dance, my heart was leaping and my brain was shutting itself due to too much excitement.
In a minute, I was with him, going to the nearest coffee shop, not knowing how to initiate the conversation. Luckily, he spoke again. “How was your day?”, he asked.
__END__
