An Unanticipated Idiocy

Editor’s Choice: Funny Short Story – An Unanticipated Idiocy

An Unanticipated Idiocy – Funny Short Story
Photo credit: gracey from morguefile.com

Life is a journey… Journey is a passion… …therefore life is a passion.

In journey of my life it was my maiden experience of travelling in Sleeper class in a Mail train of Northern railways. Sleeper bogie of a Train and that too in Uttar Pradesh… Huh! Your ingenious mind must have fabricated up the imageries of the coaches overloaded with jostling crowd persistently and tirelessly waging a fiery warfare to acquire place to stand inside the train. Some highly wise and judicious intellectuals prefer to avoid the battle and keep hanging at the bogies entrance or windows throughout their adventurous journey while some prudent individuals prefer to sit at wagon’s rooftop, enjoy the serene atmosphere and cool breeze and thrill of their daring, courageous and adventurous expedition by train.

But when I boarded the train, you may call it my fortune that the train was not crowded as it was Sunday. I still had company of few wonderfully ecstatic gentlemen who had previously boarded the train. Let me have the credit to acquaint you with them.

I occupied… …no I would say conquered my place in the lower birth which was then a provisional asset of Patel Ji and his wife. Patel Ji a common man I would say unusually common, an cerebral personality which was further enhanced by his semi bald head and with a gleam in his eyes searching for a company while Bhabhi Ji… I mean his wife who slept peacefully at upper birth blissfully ignored with madding commotion of the train. Next to him sat Balwan Babu a timid chap, whose personality did not resemble with his name. He looked a genial middle-aged fellow, titivated with a domed tummy, mouth blotted with betel, a turban ornamented on his head. I had the reservation in upper birth but Pappu Bhaiya who was reserved in middle birth slept on my seat. His snores had decibels of dampening the din inside the train which was generated by Tea Hawkers, Groundnut Sellers, Beggars and many other folks of their sort who were fanatical after their customers. His thunderous snores concentrated everyone’s anger towards me. You might be wondering…Why? But I would tell you they took Pappu Bhaiya to be my fellow passenger (as he boarded with me) but I assure you he was not. We were complete and inclusive strangers to each other. I knew their names because of dialogues we had with each other in 6 daylight hours of our travel.

Yeah…. I was telling you about Patel Ji…. You may also wonder how do I know in a great deal about Patel Ji. When I boarded the train I took him to be a well-bred, professional looking man. But I had to renovate my opinion with his encounter with tea hawker, when he battled with him and paid 1 rupee and fifty paise instead of 3 rupees just because the amount of sugar in tea was not present in that amount which he was expecting. Even tea hawker had to leave the battle field in embarrassment due to boisterous bargaining and deadly counter attacks by Patel Ji. But still he kept up his city-bred personality by denying the advances of Balwan babu to chit-chat with him.

Everything went typical for initial couple of hours. But there was a dramatic change in the ambience when Patel Ji’s and Balwan babu’s eyes simultaneously hit upon a gold chain. The chain was lying down the seat deserted in the lowly piles of garbage collected by sweeper who had visited recently radiating its golden grandeur amid those filthy keeps.

No sooner his eyes caught that illuminating sight Patel Ji spoke valiantly “What hell is that?” in a voice which was so assertive that it even woke up Pappu Bhaiya and drew everyone’s attention towards the object.

Before Patel Ji’s hands could arrive at the entity Balwan babu immediately tightened his Dhoti, banged and crashed in the filth sportingly getting hold of the chain. Patel Ji was not yet defeated and claimed his proprietary over the chain because he was first to perceive it. Balwan babu held the chain in the warrior’s grip as an emperor who can rather die than to part with his empire. Patel Ji looked as a spy as if incessantly scheming something.

It did not take much time that Pappu Bhaiya who had just descended from the upper birth intervened in the combat for chain with another claim. Yeah… it was an unusual claim he proclaimed to have lost the similar looking chain a couple of days back in the train. Then came a charitable idea from Balwan Babu of donating it to a railway beggar. This million dollar idea was responded with a stern resentment. I acted to look out of the window in order to stay away from this trouble. After a heated argument a panel of jury which was composed of Patel Ji, Balwan babu, Pappu Bhaiya and sadly … …me was setup to decide the absolute proprietor of the gold chain. Balwan Babu suggested throwing the chain out of the window of the train and ending up this matter but Patel Ji ferociously claimed his ownership.

Now it was the moment when Patel Ji turned furious and did which he should not have done. He was now brutal, he replied in ferociously… … Now this will be ended on next station.

As the train closed down at the next station which was of a remote village, a police officer escorted with two men got inside the train. A well built man in Khaki uniform his face garlanded with a coiled moustache and bright tiger eyes… I mean Daroga Sahib, dropped in at our seats immediately, expecting that it was not too late. He scornfully questioned us about the reason of calling him to which Patel Ji replied about the circumstances and stipulation of fortunately found chain. Baalwan babu tried edge as far as he could keep the distance from Daroga Sahib. Even all the boldness of Patel Ji was also lost. I took my asylum in upper birth to enjoy the scene while Pappu Bhaiya hurriedly escaped in the bogie’s toilet and tightly bolted the door from inside.

Daroga Sahib forwarded his stone looking hands to take the chain in police custody. Balwan babu was about to handover the chain to inspector that a juggler who was busy selling his wares in the adjacent seats rushed to the spot and snatched the chain. We astoundingly gazed at him trying to make out what he was up to.

“ Sir, good you found it, I lost a piece whilst selling it here. You saved my loss.” He said in excited voice enhancing our delusion.

Sir it ‘ll be more good if you have it. A wonderful item sir ………you’ll be happy to buy it.

“What………?” Patel Ji cleared his throat in a delusive tone.

He confidently replied “ A genuine Made In China item sir made of plastic with tin coating and synthetic golden paint which makes it appear as real gold. It costs sir 30 rupees with an offer buy two and get one free.” Then he showed us a bunch of similar looking chains in his bag which were meant to be sold in train.

Nothing to say after that……… Patel Ji and Balwan babu were busy trying to make justification either they should laugh or cry. Daroga Sahib along with his men incessantly trying hard to control their laughter hastily galloped down the train.

Train moved and sped moving towards the endless blue sky between green pastures and cool winds in that beautiful weather. We all burst into a profound instantaneous laughter at our idiocy.

Yeah… Life is made up of follies, idiocy, good sense and everything with only happiness predominating.

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