Funny Short Story – WHEN NATURE CALLS
Photo credit: mensatic from morguefile.com
One night I was driving back home. It was raining like hell. Suddenly I got a call. I know its not advisable to answer a call while driving .Our attention gets diverted and we are not actually capable of multitasking. But I have seen people who do this so gracefully using their fingers to manoeuvre the steering, all the while talking their minds out through the phones which are getting smarter each day. Power steering must be the greatest invention after cricket. But me unlike those elite group of people doesn’t even have the attention span of a hoolock gibbon (a variety of monkey found in India,pls don’t forget our roots). But this call was from nature and I had to answer it. I felt an irresistible urge to pee.
I thought I would get home before the moment of truth. But I lost my way a bit in d rain ( remember hoolock gibbon) and its raining so heavily that I cant get out of the car. So I was controlling two things at the same time. Who said we cant multitask. Then I started weighing my options and sadly there weren’t many to weigh upon. I remember reading somewhere that some African tribes have the ability to harness enough suction to spit it out. But I was never a fan of reverse osmosis.
I was annoyed by the sheer irony of the situation. Nature on one hand is pouring out all the excess water it has which is preventing me from doing the same. You might argue the volume of the liquid in question is nowhere near the same. But I have my doubts. When confronted with a problem we humans follow a pattern. First we become nervous (becoming nervous was the last thing I wanted). Then when we are this close of freaking out, sanity returns and we find a solution. So my nervous and freaking out phase was over and I knew a solution was around the corner. So I started scanning the car. And I found a bottle. The third most important invention after cricket and power steering. But it was filled with petrol. It was a 2 litre pepsi bottle and I bought petrol for two litres. But there was still a lot of room left in the bottle. Then to my sheer ecstasy I discovered a truth. Two litres of pepsi and two litres of petrol are not the same. Wow what a time for serendipity to intervene. I now knew what Archimedes would have felt like. (or the guy at the petrol pump fooling me was another possibility, but it occurred impossible to me)
So I answered my call and in the process literally peed on a multi national company. And just as I finished, the rain stopped.
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PS- I got an unprecedented mileage from that bottle of “petrol”. Sshh. That’s an idea I am hoping to patent for.
