A Book which became a Story – Hilarious Short Story
Photo Credit: www.cepolina.com
Well, here it goes. For the first time in life I am writing a……, well I don’t actually know what I am writing. At least I thought of writing something, I really feel proud for that. I am not reading type of person myself; I have barely read four novels in my life, so the field of literature is still a very strange to me. I am not telling this because I want to establish my writing as a literature work or anything. I am not writing this to spend my time or anything because I have a very tight schedule or at least I am making the world believe that I am very busy. I am just writing because I felt like it. It’s not a sin to write, is it?? Hey this is not erotic literature or anything. At least for now it isn’t. Then let’s start a fresh paragraph and get serious with the writing.
Really I need to decide what I am writing. I can’t call it just writing till the end of my work. Well guys actually I don’t know what I am writing because I don’t know it that’s all. I started this because I wanted to express myself, an emotional outburst or something like that. Don’t wish to go to physiatrist for that. You can be my physiatrist if you have the patience to read this piece of sh*t. So you must think that I am lonely person, don’t have friends, girlfriend or anybody to share my thoughts with. Well you are wrong, I have every one. A bunch of caring friends and a sweet girlfriend. Well that will take care of the “dedicated to” part of my book. No one will complaint about why I didn’t put their names in the dedicated to part now. Wow…. Didn’t you see that the word just came out of me? I am going to write a book for crying out load. Whoever thought that a regular person like me will end up writing a book?
You guys are so lucky; you are not going to read a passage nor a paper nor any article from me. You are going to read a whole book written by the great me. Well then the next step is I have to find a name for my book. You guys who are reading my book will see the name at the cover page, but just for the facts, this is the part when I started thinking about giving a name to my book. Let’s see what should I give to this bunch of nonsense. … Eureka…. No that’s not the name. How about “non sense”? No, that won’t work. How will I ask a publishing company to publish my non sense….?? Ok guys the name is not yet decided. You will find how I discovered the name as you read on. But surely I am going to save this in my computer as nonsense.doc. Well at least I got a name to save my book in my computer. That’s pretty much of an improvement, isn’t it? Three paragraphs completed in a day. Not bad for a lazy ass like myself. Well I feel proud again. That’s the second time I feel proud after I started writing this. I am really starting to like this. If it goes like this … bam in a year or so my book will be born. Tears are rolling down my eyes as I started to think about… um, I will cry out loud if I got a Nobel for this. Which, will happen never. Well it doesn’t hurt to say like that.Hey, it’s my book don’t I have the right to write anything I want to.
Well guys really can’t stop writing. I am back in front of my pc. I happened to read “how to write a book” by Scott Berkun. Well the truth is I actually searched in the Google about writing a book and came to see his website. I think he is a famous personality, but I am hearing about him for the first time. I really like his way of writing, it’s not that I have much to compare to. I just liked it. Well after I started to write this book. I find certain changes in me. I am actually reading a lot than before. Reading a paragraph will be a lot in my case, because you know why, reading was not my thing. Now I am happy, even if I didn’t complete this book I will turn out to be a good reader for sure. I was just visiting Mr.Berkun’s website and I read almost two essays written by him, including the essay about how to write a book. Well I am growing up, mentally. And thank you Mr.Berkun for your essay. It helped a lot.
After two days I am writing again. I gave this to my girlfriend to read, to know her true review about my work. Really what was I thinking hearing true review from her? She will give good comments, no matter what the sh*t I have written in this paper. It’s not because she is not a sensible girl or anything. She loves me for crying out loud, how you expect her to disappoint me. She will never do it. But the naked truth is I knew it before. Even though I asked her for her comments, whether good or bad. I was really expecting good comments from her. Well I needed a little encouragement and I got a lot. But one thing she said made me think. She asked me was it some kind of preface for my book. I didn’t type chapter 1 or anything when I gave it her. Then I thought about it and finally decided that this should be chapter 1, readers don’t really care about the preface, but I wanted all of you to know how I started writing this book. But from next chapter onwards no more blabbering like this, I am going straight to the topic guys if I could think of anything…….
Let’s see… What should I write about…? Well any suggestions???
And the wonderful chapter 2 should start from here started still no special topic to concentrate in. I know that I didn’t keep my promise, but I am helpless here, I really couldn’t get any topic that I am fully aware off. Well I know a lot of things and I can talk about it, but concentrating or narrating about a single topic will surely make this book into a short passage. I couldn’t write more than two paragraphs about a topic.
Ooh crap… now I have to study deeply about something to write this book. And the one thing I hate in my life studying. Well it’s not the one thing I hate; I hate a lot of things starting from vegetables, mayonnaise etc… Well I think this book is becoming more concentrated on me. Oh no!!!.It’s becoming an autobiography. No I will never let it to be an autobiography, I swear. Who wants to read about an ordinary person’s life? Especially a regular life like mine. Well what’s special to say about it. I go to college, cut classes some times…. Oh sh*t I am going back to the autobiographical again… ain’t I? Well this has to stop here and I am not writing again till I find myself a good topic.
Well guys I give up after few weeks of searching for topics, I have established myself as a non book writer. Well books are not the thing for me. I should read more. I need to know about more things. I need new experiences, well lot of it. I am not ready yet, have to prepare myself more. Well the sad part is this work of mine will remain in my computer as a sacred treasure. Unless…. I publish it as a essay or something. Then I thought again… and finally decided to publish it as a short story. Surely it has all the qualities to be a story. It narrates the different attempts I have to undergo for writing a book. So I declare this piece of sh*t as a story…..
Well it turned out to be a nice story … right guys?????
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