[Editor’s Choice: I hate you – Hilarious Short Story]
I hate you – Hilarious Short Story
Photo credit: lukeok from morguefile.com
I hate you. You make me cry everyday…
I was talking to the onions I was peeling for the day. I have a love-hate relationship with onion. I love onion & can’t think of making a dish without it. But the ordeal of going through the unstoppable tears it gives me, makes me hate them. I have to start my daily cooking at five in the morning. So I wake up in the face of onion and eventually start scolding it in the process.
I have this issue for a long time. Few years back while doing my MBA, my professor asked us to come up with a new product which can have a huge commercial value. Know what my product suggestion was…..Hmmm An Onion which doesn’t make you cry…. Forget my poor scores for that assignment; point is that I’m trying to find a way to work around this problem for a long time.
I went to God Google for a remedy and he gave me few suggestions. Let me talk about top three suggestions I tried..
1) Eating(or is it chewing) a chewing gum while peeling onions: This is so easy I thought. I bought a box of Orbit & started chewing while peeling Onion. And the result was… I Love Orbit..But sadly it doesn’t stop the Onion Tears.
2) Light a candle before you while peeling onions: Another approachable suggestion isn’t? Actually I’m searching for the person who gave this suggestion. In this hot Chennai weather, sitting before a candle and peeling a onion which still gives you tears is bit too much. I was very frustrated after trying it out.
3) Microwaving the Onions for a minute before peeling them: You will end up cutting a hot onion which still makes you cry.
I tried numerous other methods too, but none of them works. I’m still continuing my daily routine of scolding the onions while peeling it. But now I have seen a light at the end of tunnel..Yes..Few days back I was watching a 1970’s movie. The heroine gets married to the hero and when she is about to leave her parent’s home, her father asks the hero to keep her happy. Hero replies “Don’t worry I won’t even let onions make your daughter cry. I will peel it for her. “
Yes I’m going to search for a guy who can cut onions for me. I’m even thinking of the matrimonial ads in that fashion
…. Require a well educated guy who can cut onions.
… Able Onion-cutting groom required for….
Grrr.. People please let me know if you have found any other way to stop Onion Tears. Plz…..
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