Calling a call center

Once I had to call a call center for lodging a complaint that my washing machine is not working, reproduced below are the experience of calling a call center.

 

God forbid you need to call a call center,

For registering complaint of your machine or refrigerator,

The moment you dial their phone number,

There comes a pre-recorded voice, select your language by pressing a number.

 

Having selected the language of your choice,

You will start clearing your throat for a commanding voice,

For your problem areas, they have got 6 concoctions,

Therefore, you will be hearing the 6 valued options.

 

Quickly the 6 options the recorded message will declare,

With a whiz kid, your memory, they are trying to compare,

You start remembering the days when you failed to learn the school prayer,

But hold on their game is till now quite fair,

They will ask you whether you want to talk to customer care,

Thinking that your problem is solved you jump from you chair,

Such a happiness of mind you have felt very rare.

 

Then you hear ‘for talking to our executive press nine,

You feel that anyway till now the response is fine,

You press button number nine, thinking things are quite easy,

Soon you hear, all the customer care executives are busy,

The said message makes you a bit uneasy.

 

Pl hold the line you are in a queue, it may take some time,

Your call is very important to us so please be on the line,

For you this is recorded voice is like a cloud without any silver line,

You will get to listen to the promotions scheme and their product,

All of them, at this moment, you would like to throw in the house duct.

 

Then a voice will come saying, your number in the queue is sixty six,

You don’t know what to do and you are in a fix,

They respect you as the recorded voice keeps on telling you thus,

‘Dear customer’ please hold the line, your call is very important to us.

At last, your patience has been helpful to you,

A hastily run voice says I am so and so and what can I do.

 

Unfortunately, in this delay, I forgot what the problem was, then suddenly with a jerk I remember that I had phoned to call center for washing machine complaint.

 

My washing machine is not working, you feebly murmur,

The executive will ask you, what is your registered mobile number?

 

We had purchased it two years back so did not remember which number we had given, Here only they don’t give you option. So I told them my wife’s number, considering she is using the washing machine so we might have given her number only, and secondly I am never sure of the accuracy of my own number whereas I dare not forget my wife’s number. Fortunately, my fluke clicked and the executive now started giving the history of our purchase, name, address and the brand and the model of the machine. I kept on saying yes for all his records. Then he came to the point: “what exactly is the problem?’ I did not know the ABC of the problem as I have never used the machine.

 

I call my wife and ask her to tell the problem in detail,

She comes towards me with a snobbish attitude declaring me fail,

Thinking that I am such an idiot who cannot describe the problem properly,

Handing over the phone to her, I listen to their conversation patiently,

She tells all the difficulties which we have faced in shifting the house,

There after she complains, the machine is not working to add to our woes,

 

Having been deprived of the phone, I was feeling like the last mughal emperor Bahadur Shah Zaffar-II, who lost his kingdom and was exiled. My wife now hands over the phone back to me and I grab it back as if I got back my lost kingdom.

The executive, tells me to hold the line as he is processing my ticket. He again leaves me to the mercy of the recorded voice of promotional schemes. I kept holding the line for 5 to 7 minutes. I start doubting whether the executive has gone for a brunch. Then suddenly I hear some sound which makes me feel rather happy that work is being done. He says your request has been forwarded: ‘your job will be done in 24 hours. Anything else I can do for you, thanks for calling us’. I was wondering why he put me on hold for so long just for saying thanks ,I would have been happy without his thanks and at least would have saved 7 minutes talk time, However, even after all this activity I was feeling victorious.

After getting a feel of winning in the above process, I looked at the washing machine. Thinking that the clothes which are lying inside the washing machine as its door was not opening will be liberated within 24 hours at least.

I was feeling pity for the shirts and pants lying inside the washing machine and I am not able to do anything for them before 24 hours. I looked at the clothes thru the glass door of washing machine. it appeared to me as if they were staring at me saying that I am helpless, powerless cannot bail out them .I went near them and told them don’t worry everything will be alright, ‘I am there’, like some political leader tells his errant son when he is arrested for some murder or rape and put in the lock up and the day is Sunday so no magistrate is available to accept the bail.

Next day morning it was 11.00am and 24 hours had passed but no technician/engineer reported for repairing the machine. I was losing my patience as if I was afraid that the clothes lying in washing machine will die due to suffocation. I gathered courage and phoned the call center again to tell them that despite their promise of 24 hours nothing has been done. I again went thru all the above mentioned rigmarole of calling the call center. At the end they said they are once again forwarding my request to the concerned service centre. I asked him if today also my job is not done then where to escalate the problem, then he gave me the URL of website, and gave me the number and name of the franchisee.

In my curiosity I opened the website and clicked the button ‘get in touch’ and gave them the feedback that my call has not been attended in 30 hrs despite a promise of 24 hours. I got an auto reply that your request is under process, information which was of hardly any use to me.

Frustrated from ‘get in touch’ option I decided to call number of local franchisee and I immediately phoned the concerned person. I requested him that my washing clothes are held up in the machine so please arrange to send the engineer urgently. He said we will try to attend the call before evening. The engineer came in the evening and changed the door lock. Next day morning the washing machine was operated but it was short circuiting so I called the engineer. He came and changed our MCB from 10 amperes to 16 amperes. Next day again, when we tried to operate this machine, it was still short circuiting we again phoned the engineer. Two days have gone past and he has yet to come.

How can I forget the recorded voice?

“Please be online, you are important to us”.

Now, I am reflecting on the above line very philosophically.

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