Funny Short Story – The drunken flies
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He reached for anther swallow of his beer. A glass of vodka and
Cola sat beside him also.
Swatting the air he brought the pint glass to his lips.
After he had drained the pint glass empty he set it back on the table.
Across the living room the television was off.
Flies buzzed about him. He had left the kitchen door open in the
Late afternoon and the living room door was ajar also.
He looked around the living room at the jukebox he had got for parties and such like.
He waddled over there obviously plastered and stood over the jukebox
Studying it intently the way drunks always seemed to do.
He finally found what he was looking for..he pressed the controls and wandered back
To the couch.
Looking up at the flies circling about, he tried to count them but got lost at 5.
I just called by Stevie wonder started up from the jukebox.
He finished the vodka and cola, then poured some more and filled up his pint glass.
This was his sixth beer and vodka cola.
He leaned over towards the table and grabbed some more cheese balls.
Them he moved over to the right and put his feet up on the part of the
Table that was less cluttered with his various odd and ends.
“I just called…. To say! I love you .. I just called” he broke of in mid song to
Grab some more cheese balls.
“And ah mean in from the bottom of….”
He looked at the table.. “Bugger” he thought.
The flies were surrounding both his vodka cola and the beer.
He rubbed his eyes instinctively,they seemed to be leaning over
The edge of the glass to take a drink.
“I just called by Stevie wonder finished on the jukebox.
He got up and wandered to wards the jukebox. With that same intent concentration he selected another tune from the box. After he was done he waddled of to the kitchen
To get replacement drinks.
“Where it began….. I cant begin to know-in but then i know it began strong..”
Neil diamonds sweet caroline played from the jukebox.
He poured his drinks and made his way back to the couch.
“Sweet Caroline (da da da) good times never seemed so good” he sung”.
“Good times never seemed so good.”
A small sweet voice “I’ve been inclined to believe they never would”
He looked in the direction of the voice. It was on top of the tv, on the right side.
He thought the tv was coming back on automatically.
But he got up and moved close to the fly on the tv.
There was no mistaking it! The fly was singing.
“Whaas goin on..” He said under his breath. He looked and saw that
There were more flies on the top of the tv. He counted: 6 of them in a row
Including the tiny serenader still singing its heart out.
The jukebox fell silent once again.
He looked at the flies on top of the tv. They all seemed to be staring back at him
As if all six eyes they had were meant for this purpose : (staring at people that is.)
He looked closely at the now quiet singer.
“hiccup!” The tiny fly burped. He seemed to the man to be drunk.
The man wandered a little towards the juke box then looked back.
None of the flies seemed to have moved.
He set another song on the jukebox..
He walked slowly, so as not to disturb the flies and sat quietly on the couch.
The music from the intro to “love on the rocks” once again by neil diamond
Resonated from the jukebox.
Neil sang “love on the rocks….aint no surprise”.
The man looked in the direction of the flies.
They ventured no more lyrical abilities.
The song went on. Still nothing from the flies.
The man sat there waiting.
The song got to ” you need what you need..you can say what
You want”.
Then the fly that sung before started to fly, and in that sweet fly voice: “not much
You can do when the feeling is gone”.
The fly had left the tv before he started singing and did a swoop in a semicircle in front of
The tv while singing a section from the song.
The next fly in line on top of the tv took to the air and performing the same semicircle
Began : “may be blue skies above.. But its cold when your loves on the rocks..”.
This was a deeper baser fly voice.
It got to the next part of the song and the third fly had already taken off when the man burst in:
(Quite incorrectly) with:: “gave you my heart ..gave you my soul ..(all the flies joined in) you left me alone here with nothing to hold.
Im the background the correct version of the song was going : “nothing you can do…just
Got to leave just get away.
The flies and the man sung :”yesterdays gone……now all i want is a smile”.
The man was standing by now and he looked around himself, the flies circling his head.
Moments passed and the flies settled back on top of the tv.
“How is it that you can sing?” The man asked.
“Its the drink” the bass fly answered.
“Rare is the time a fly can get a drink. But when we do…boy will you hear us”.
The sweet voiced fly piped in “you humans are always guarding your drinks
So well. We hardly get a chance. What with your swatting and shooshing and so on”.
“Stories my mother told me of us flies getting drunk.. “,the bass fly said,”were man have saw us
And witnessed our drunken spectacles , well there no man has believed it in the morning, they all say they were seeing things”.
The man and the flies played the jukebox on into the night
They sang and partied until sunrise were the man fell asleep.
__END__
