I walked back to my hostel, thinking of all the wonderful moments which we had spent together. It was over. I was reminding myself not to shed even a single tear for him. It wasn’t my fault …. nor his.
Hostel warden was again repeating the verses of punishment for returning late, but I was far away from present.
It was 3. A.m. and I lied still awake. “Why did I love him so much without even knowing him properly?”
My roommate woke me up in the morning and asked me to get ready. She was all set and was asking me to hurry up. I had promised to accompany her for shopping; spend the whole Sunday with her in shopping, shopping and shopping. I didn’t want to go anywhere but then thought – Why should I? Why to spoil her mood? She had always eased my pain by supporting and caring for me
“Within half-n-hour” I responded. She was excited and had a short list of what all she doesn’t need. There were discount sales everywhere due to “Diwali season”. Saranya was browsing through all the designer sarees that were available in the store. That was the 15th saree which the salesman was showing her. I smiled seeing her rejecting even that. “The leaves printed in the pallu were not good” was her opinion. She was expert in selecting clothes. She could tell the reliability of clothes just by touching it. I was literally a below average student in all these matters.
The salesman now took a saree of maroon and white combination, seeing which my smile faded. It was similar to what Shiv had selected for me. Saranya looked at me with a smiling face and said “It looks similar but there is a difference. This saree does not have pearls in its borders.” She was right.
That day we all had gone for shopping. There were so many sarees in front of me and I didn’t know which one to select. I never knew that there were so many shades of red as well as maroon. I wanted to hit that salesman. Suddenly Shiv handed over a beautiful saree to me. Maroon with white combination, borders decorated with pearls. I was speechless. From where did he get this saree? And why had he given it to me? Even Saranya had given 5 on 5 ratings for it! How can I forget that day!
At last she had selected three sarees. I could see the salesman thanking God for this. We then headed to other stores for enhancing our collections. My stomach was now crawling due to hunger. We entered a restaurant and ordered North Indian thalis. There were so many varieties in the thali and I was wondering whether I would be able to fit everything in my tummy. My glance went towards one bowl which had paneer pasanda in it – One among Shiv’s favorite dish. I ate silently, pretending as if I was paying attention to Saranya’s words.
We reached hostel by 6. We were unpacking our stuffs when suddenly she exclaimed – “Oh My God, my serial is about to begin!!” and ran downstairs. I had decided to go with her for erasing him out of my mind, but couldn’t. My eyes were filled with tears. “Why am I crying for him?!!! Why!!!! Control! Control! “I kept on repeating and then went out of control. I still loved him.
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