The Last Chance..!

It was New Year’s year eve, almost the end of 2013. Celebrations were going on full swing in every nook and corner of my college. Every year there used to be competition among each department in our college as to prove who makes the best out of celebrations. I was basically a 3rd year mechanical engineering student and our department’s celebration has been always way ahead of other department’s league. We planned to make it even more bigger and better that time. So we bought a 10kg cake, lot of poppers, snow sprays and all types of crackers. It was time to start the show. So, me and my friends took care of the crackers. I lit a 1000 wala cracker and each one of us were literally jumping in joy. There was someone who was rather feared by the sound of the cracker when every one of us were enjoying. She was a girl. She was so much feared that she closed her ears, crossed her hands and turned the other side.

I didn’t know why I was so keen about concentrating on her instead of continuing my celebrations, but you will surely admit it’s worth it. Finally the sound of cracker disappeared and she looked my side to ensure whether it was really over. Assuring it was over, she smiled, blinking her eyes with a sigh of relief. I couldn’t even blink a second as I was looking at the most beautiful face ever.  The eyes that was so precious than the platinum, a smile that could melt a hard solid rock instantly, and the face which seemed like an eighth wonder to me.

She started walking, with her friends teasing her about how childish it was of her to fear for these small things at that age. As she kept on walking, I couldn’t help myself but follow her. She seemed so special to me that I ignored my friends who were calling out to me, as it was already time to cut the cake. I never minded about it as I couldn’t take my eyes of her. I finally stopped when I saw her getting into the college bus. It was time for the buses to leave. So I ran suddenly in front of the bus to see what the bus number was. When the bus started leaving I remind myself, smiling like an idiot to feel what it was like to experience 10 minutes of complete awesomeness.

The next two days of mine was completely filled in memory of her. Those perfectly shaped eyes haunted me every second. “Why are you so much into this girl? Haven’t you seen a girl this beautiful before? Did you fall for this girl finally? Is it just for her appearance?” I asked myself these questions.

Then I started searching this girl madly. I didn’t even know to whom I should ask about her. “Why am I wasting my time for some random girl?” I thought and forced myself to stop thinking about her.

I have a lot of passion for dancing and I started to practice for my performance in the upcoming department function of IT department. Days were going fine and the day of function arrived. It was hell of competition as great professional dancers from many colleges registered for the competition. My name was 15th in the list and I was finally called for my performance. Fear of losing struck my mind and I started to perform with great stress after seeing the previous performances. I started and was going very well. I usually don’t score well in romantic songs as it in mainly focuses on attractive expressions which I practice well,  but never implement.

“Tum hi ho” was so famous at that time. It was a song that melts your heart every time you hear it. I chose it for my performance. As the song started I started performing in the usual way until I saw something magical entering into the auditorium. I saw her again. Like a flood after a severe drought, she came in, opening the door and rushing inside to sit in the seat that was reserved for her by her friends. Never in my life, had I stood idle for some seconds during my performance, taking a ride in the world of fairy tales to finally meet the princess of my life. She was like a sculpture that no sculptor could ever imagine of. All of a sudden, this dumb dancer transformed into the most romantic dancer of all and surprised the ones who knows me well.

After finishing my performance, I didn’t even look at judge’s reaction which I usually care the most of, but was smiling all the way like a baby, that sees its mom after having a long cry.

I realized that I fell in love with her at that moment and also realized that we don’t always fall in love with ones that are beautiful. It’s about a magical feeling that arises in your heart that says she is the one for you. It can’t be explained but only felt.

I didn’t win any prize in that competition. But I never cared about it as I was completely mesmerized by her. The world seemed like a different place to me. For a guy who is mechanical by department, everything around turned into a botanical all of a sudden. “Is this what it feels to be in love?” I asked myself and smiled again.

I somehow got to know that she is studying 1st year in IT department. I called my hostel junior, Jeffrey, who is a classmate of her to know INFORMATION about the INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY girl. I described her perfectly that he gave me a look that was like, I have discovered something new. “Her name is Angelina” he said. “She’s surely an angel” I said to the him, smiling. “She never talks to boys. She is much of a reserved type. There’s a lot of competition for her sir” he said. The word reserved caught my attention as girls with reserved character are the most romantic according to me. Finally I got her Facebook id and sent him off.

I became friends in Facebook with this junior guy, so that when I send request she would at least consider having one mutual friend and respond. I sent her request.

When you are in love, you face seems 10 times beautiful than usual. You spend most of the time in front of mirror, smiling and combing your hair. You stop singing romantic melodies and start feeling them. You start to change your way of dressing and buy more branded and nice shirts, as if she’s going to fall in love with you just for your dress, like one in the advertisements. You take selfies whenever possible to make sure your face is still beautiful.

The ultimate sufferers of all these changes are your parents and friends. No matter how much money your parents give you, you spend it mostly in buying things that give you more confidence to your dream love. You compel your friends to come with you whenever you see her, you always talk to them about her and torture them to take photos of you in various poses, ask them to edit it to keep it as your whatsapp, hike and facebook display pictures.

No matter what happens, there will be a friend who supports you always, who is more interested in your love than you. Ultimately, he’s the culprit who induces you by saying “Dude!! She is looking at you dude.” He calls you whenever he sees her somewhere. He becomes our self-appointed wingman.

It became a routine for me to follow her wherever she went. I always stood at a distance to watch her before she boards college bus, as I thought going near would embarrass her and she would hate me. Well, that’s not the only reason. I never had courage to stand in front of her face to face and look at her.

As my friend said, she was looking at me for sure. But that look contained loads of terror. She was literally staring at me.

Days passed like this and then came the most cruel day of all, “Valentine’s day”. Everywhere you turn, there will be a couple having their own way of celebration. They are super excited about that day as if they never hang out on normal days. It’s crueller, when your best friends are committed and plan their celebrations for their lovers, while you are still out there helping them to successfully implement the plan.

A semester was over and I now entered into the most important year of my course, the Final year. At the start of an academic year there will be a grand cultural fest conducted by our college every year. No one will miss out on such a fest. So, I planned on for practicing for a great dance performance to impress Angelina. I took all the songs as romantic numbers, to perform this as a dedication for her. The big day came and I performed well as usual in front of my angel.

It always feels great when you showcase your talent in front of that one special person.

The next day, assuming she would be impressed by my performance, I logged into my facebook account to send her a proposal message. But I couldn’t find her name anywhere and realized that she has blocked me already. My love for her increased more and more as she was avoiding me totally.

Days passed on in a more routine way. I couldn’t still gain the confidence and courage to propose her in person. Fear of rejection stopped me from approaching her.

One semester was over. The next semester became very tough for me as I was held tight with my project works. So I barely saw her in campus. Sooner, it was the end of the semester, end of my college life, the last day of my college life in the campus and with her.

I made a decision that, whatever happens, today I am definitely going to tell her what I feel. I combined all my courage and confidence to finally propose her that day. I practiced a lot about what exactly am going to say her that would make her fall in love with me. Lots of things were going in my mind. As I went near her, everything became blank. Fear struck me again. I was standing at the place, helpless, and hopeless. By the time, college buses had already arrived and she got into the bus and sat in the first seat like always. When the bus started to move, she gave me a look that was different from the one she always used to give. It said me something.

I cursed myself for losing my only chance. It pained like hell, to realize that I can never see her again. Tears started rolling down my cheek and I started to cry harder. I have never cried that much in my whole life.

With hard feelings about her, I left to my hometown. After that each day was like a hell to me in memory of her. I found that this is taking my life out of control. So, I deactivated facebook, uninstalled whatsapp and put aside all distractions. I hung out with my friends more to forget her memories. I started to prepare for GATE exam to put my B.Tech course finally into good use.

Finally I got into a good reputed institution of our country. One year later, there was a call from my college to invite us for the graduation ceremony.

I started the journey to my college. As I approached near and near to my college, memories of Angelina started to haunt me badly. Finally, I reached my college.

As I entered my college, the first person I wanted to see was her. I was so desperate to find where she was. I went around the college in search of her. I found the same junior guy Jeffrey, standing outside canteen, with his friends. ”Jeffrey” I called him.

He was so excited about seeing me there and welcomed me very well. “How are you sir? How come you are here?” he asked.

“I am here for my graduation ceremony brother.” I said. Before he could ask me any other question I stopped him and asked “Do you know where Angelina is? I searched for her everywhere in the campus.” I asked him.

“You still didn’t leave that Angelina sir? He laughed and said she was in the classroom. I would have slapped him right away for that question. As it was getting time for the ceremony, I left from that place and ran to IT department and stood in front of her class.

There she was, as beautiful as ever, adjusting her hair, that are as beautiful as the feathers of a peacock, standing like a cute little princess with her friends. It was a 20 minutes interval time for her. “This is the last chance of your life. Now or never.” I boosted myself with enough courage and went near her.

“Angelina” I called her. She was very shocked and surprised to see me all of a sudden.

“I don’t want you to say anything. Just listen to me.” I said. She didn’t say anything.

I looked her in the eye and started “I should have told you this a long time back. I usually don’t believe people saying “ It was written by god that every one in this world is destined to be with someone” , until I saw you. You are like a precious flower that blossomed into the stem of my life, when there was not even a leaf on it. Like a building without a proper design, like the sky without a moon, my life would become hectic if you are not in it. I cant even imagine a life without you. I love you Angelina. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

She didn’t say anything at that time either. But she gave me a smile with tears rolling down her cheek that said me everything I dreamed of from my college days.

“You don’t need to speak anything Angelina. This smile is enough for me. I can spend a whole lifetime thinking about this smile. It’s getting late for my ceremony. I will leave now” I said starting to walk away from the place while my heart was still with her.

“Gowtham!!” she called me. “Congrats on your ceremony. Call me when you come out. Take my number” She said blushing.

At that instant, my feeling was out of the world. It was so huge to finally live the dream moment of my life. I went near her, caught her hand and said “Sure dear”.

That moment I realized that true love always has its rewards. If I hadn’t told her my feelings even at that time, I wouldn’t be sitting here at the ceremony, recapping all of my golden memories, thinking when this ceremony will get over, to finally go out and live the greatest moment of my life.

–END–