I was curious about her . She came daily to church. A cute 19 years old girl . I saw her everyday, I came to church daily for praying to god. I never seen her laughing or talking to many. She had only one friend, she talk to her only.
That day I came early, she walked into the church, and I was at door, I looked into her eyes slowly… slowly then all at once, and very first time she smiled. I felt some birds were flying inside my heart. Her smile was so innocent , a man would forgot his grief for a while, if he seen her smile !!!. I couldn’t forgot that day, many days gone we kept looking at each other sharing smiles, sharing eyes looks, and one day I asked her out. She didn’t replied at first, but next day she did.
She replied to me ” ok I will come with you ”
” gravity cafe, 223 churchil street at 6 p.m” I replied at once.
She laughed out loud. I kept looking at her smile. I felt that there is something she hides from this whole world, there is little girl in her heart inside that sad face .
At 5.55 pm I reached at cafe, sat down at one corner on table. She came at 6.10 pm. She was wearing a blue dress, and a little makeup on her face. Ohhh damn!! she was looking so beautiful, I had been waiting for this moment from long time. She sat down infront me, she smiled I also smiled. I ordered coffee and some snacks . We both ate, we were talking , but i felt some awkward there ,so I asked her to took a walk with me outside. She started taking walk with me, I asked her about her family and everything , she was little bit open up now. I was one happy person about her.
But somewhere I felt she was hiding something, she didn’t wanted to open up about it. Many days passed we now met many times at many places. We both were walking on streets that night, streets were so empty that day, I looked at her she smiled back to me.
” you know you are so beautiful ” I said.
“Ohh stop it please, I think I am the most unattractive girl you have ever met in your life.”she laughed
“No, dear no just look at you, your are beautiful, yes you are! ! I love your smile and I …..!! ” he stopped
She broke silence ” ohh thanks..that so sweet of you “.
“I think I am in love with you, I think you are the best person i have ever meet in my life…I ….I…” I was preapring myself infront of mirror. I suddenly stopped for a while and asked myself ” am I really in love with her? ” I looked.at mirror and it gave my answer…… I saw her face in that mirror.
We met that day but I couldn’t told her my feelings. I was unable to express my feeling about her, I knew when I was with her I forgot every grief in my life.I forgot that “my parents died, I am a lonely child and since I met her I felt she mean to me.”
We were talking ,sitting at a st.louis garden a place which I loved since my childhood. My dad took me to this garden, my old memories were in that garden. We were talking about her life, my life and I was looking at her, she stopped talking and smiled back to me.
” What? ” she said.
” I think I am in love with you Ana ,since I met you I felt something which I never felt after my parents died, you know you are the best thing happen to my life, whenever I am with you I feel like a someone who really cares about me in this lonely world of mine…. I love you, my love …I love you, will you marry me? ”
she looked into my eyes, ” see, I love you dear, I mean it, but I think I can’t marry you, you will find someone better than me dear …please don’t ask me why? You are the best thing happen to my life. I love you! ” tears were rolling down from her eyes. I cried a lot that night. I didn’t seen her for month.
I came to church that day, I prayed. I was leaving the church suddenly she stopped me, a friend of her.
” She was sad about you, she came to church everyday, and asked me everyday about you ” she said
I was sad too from inside, then I narrated a whole story to her .
“Ohh, I know why she said no to marry you ,see Ana really loves you, but she don’t want to hurt you man ..! ” she said.
“Ohh please she is hurting me ,if she really loves me then what thing is stopping her to marry me ” I said.
“Well you want to know ?” she said
” yes I want to know ” I said
” she has a cancer Peter !!she has some years left in her hand , I think rest you will understand ” she said
It broke my heart into pieces, why didn’t she told me, why? . Tears were rolling down from my eyes. I came to my favorite place sat down on a bench where we used to sit. I thought for some minutes, a lot of thoughts comes to my mind. I wipe my tears, its time of her to come to church, I ran for a some minutes I reached at church. She was not there, I looked around, she was sitting on that table.
I walked towards her, she looked at me she came near to me, I took her hand and sat on that bench.we were both looking at reach other.
” see, Ana I love you, you mean to me, I don’t believe in soulmates or anything else, but I am going to live with you rest of my life that’s what I understand!! why you didn’t told me Ana. Emma told to me today. I know its hardest thing, but Ana if you really don’t want to hurt me, then marry me! Because my life without you ??that’s going to hurt me like a hell. please marry me Ana ,I will love you upto last breath of your life ” tears were rolling down from my eyes. She kissed me.
We married in a church, we spend many years happily, she gave a birth to beautiful child. She died after 7 years of our marriage. She was so sick in her last days.She kept looking at me for hours, she barely spoken to anyone in that phase. I cried every night for her. She knew all the things, but that last night she talked to me
” peter,my love I love you and you are the best thing ever happen to my life, you are my soulmate, you remember, that night peter, you were about to said I love you to me. I was very happy that day peter, and suddenly I remembered about my cancer, and today here I am, giving you the hole in your heart for rest of your life ”
My eyes were filled with tears, I couldn’t spoke a word. I was crying. I hugged her, kissed her on forehead. “No my love, you are not giving. a hole in my heart, you gave me best years of my life..and I will love you until last breath of my life,I love you!!! ”
She was smiling, a same smile I saw on her face first time we met & after some minutes she died infront of me in my hand. I cried a lot for many days. But I choosen this choice in my life.
” Ana, my love today there is our 10 th marriage anniversary and you know you are really a best thing ever happen to my life. I chosen you not because I love you but because you mean to me, you are my soulmate, you deserve me and I deserve you! ! But I really miss you Ana! & see I am not crying, I don’t get hurt, I am happy about our little infinity you gave it to me. I wish you could able to survived some more days and added some days to this little infinity. But time never stop for anyone , I didn’t get hurt by you Ana but losing you is hurting me like a hell !! Ana my love, I miss you so much…!! I will love you until last breath of my life.!! ” some drops of tears were falling down on her photo….
–END–
- Nayan Mohitkar
