I was checking my phone again and again but there was no message. It is 1PM but still there is no call or message from her. She usually texts me in the morning. A thought keep on coming in my mind why she did not message me till now?
While thinking about her, I saw a flash back on how it all started. How she entered my life, how I have tried to limit her presence but could not stop her. With every passing day she was becoming more and more important to me. She is one such beautiful thing in my life which I tried to hide from everyone. She is my secret lover and I am her secret admirer. She makes me feel happy, my heart sinks when she leaves and I wait to hear from her every day.
Once again I picked up my phone and checked but there is no message. My heart started sinking. We talk on weekdays while working in our offices. Monday to Friday. 9 to 7 means a lot for both of us, because these are the times when we get time to talk and know each other more. Time was passing, it is already 3: 30 but there is no message from her. I was convincing myself by saying that she might be busy or stuck somewhere that is why she did not contact me. It was hard for me to let the day go. It is Friday and we do not talk on weekends how will I be able to manage without talking to her for more than three days.
I never wanted this weekend to come. It was painful for me to wait for Monday so that I can hear from her. Again, I waited for her message on Monday. Hours passed but there was no message from her, I thought of calling her but I knew I cannot. I was in great dilemma, feeling helpless. I just wanted to hear from her once and know what is going on? Why is not she talking to me?
A week has passed like this. There was no contact. I was depressed. I decided to call her today just to confirm her whereabouts. But…I waited. And then I texted her.
I was waiting for the blue tick. And yes she read it and I can see that she is typing. A smile came on my face and I was eagerly waiting for her reply.
Came from the other end.
I started throwing questions at her? Grilling her about where were she and then she replied. “I am fine. I was occupied with office work. On Thursday I had to go to Kashmir on urgent basis where my personal number lost network. I was so busy that I could not manage to take time out. I am sorry.”
I felt relaxed but at the same time I also realised that how important she has become for me. Initially, I was not letting her enter my life but not I am not letting her go. I never felt the intensity of our relationship before. I have grown fonder of her by now.
And suddenly, I realised that we both are married and have our set of responsibilities towards our families and work. This is what she was doing. I was nowhere in her life in the previous week.
I wondered, if I am on the right track or not. Should I continue love her like this or stop myself. I again felt helpless and confused about this new chapter in my life.