Love Short Story – Of course I don’t miss you!
Photo credit: cohdra from morguefile.com
Dear Rae,
Picked up the pen after a long time. I’m sorry for not being able to reply faster. Overloaded with work as usual you see!
I am fine. My life is beautiful as usual. I know why you wrote the last letter. Trust me, you need not have worried so much about me ‘coz I am absolutely fine! I am not like your other girlfriends, I don’t cry myself to sleep,I don’t surrender myself to sleeping pills, I don’t put up a false facade that kills one from inside and of course,most importantly, I don’t miss you.
I have so much to do at College and outside. So many events to attend-the rehearsals, parties, shows and the social works in the rare moments of “off-days” keep me busier. When I come back home I hardly manage to speak to my parents before hitting the bed…So you see, when I don’t have time to miss my close ones, I hope you aren’t hoping that I’ll miss my ex! I miss my friends from the theater, I miss the kid who started weeping out of joy when I praised her acting skills, I miss last night when I drove back all the way alone but of course….
When I start my car at the end of the day, as seconds of tiredness tames me, I miss a hand on my shoulder and I miss a smile. I look at the empty seats….I take a deep breathe and force my mind to forget the rest.
On a cool and rainy night, when the wiper gets busy wiping the rain drops, through the hazy glass I see a face,so known. From rain drops shining on his hair, a face peering, a finger asking for a lift to the day when…my mind gets busy to wipe off the memory, my eyelashes hide the tear drops. It’s all in my burning memory that refuses to subside to ashes. I see myself trapped in a never ending maze where I fell and got up, where I am crawling, walking or running, desperate to find the end….I come back to seek respite in the reality.
When the chilly wind blows, it touches my heart very deep and leads my existence me to a different spot of space and time. In a crowded place I feel a moment’s loneliness, insecurity surrounds me and my mind screams for someone, known, so known that I can tell it’s his voice, it’s his footstep, it’s the sound of his laughter when thousands of other boys are together. My cold and numb fingers look for the warmth that let me find solace. All the warmth drains from my life and I drown in the sands of time, looking for a drop of comfort.
I don’t need to call your number for I hear your voice in my head. Over and over and over again, so many times that it’s leading me to insanity.
When memories are so strong that it can chase me off from the real world and can torture me to venture alone in the twists and turns of the dark alleys of my brain, when I find your mocking smile in an innocent smile, your lies reflected in the honesty of many, when I find your disgusting face in the empty space, how do you expect me to miss you and cry for you??
When I come home,I feel like shouting at the glowing lights. I kill the lights and sit alone in the dark loneliness. It was always dark. You don’t need to light the colourful candles that melt at the speck of second or extinguish at the softest breeze. After everything you did with me-broke my trust, used my love and mocked my pride of single hood, I seek respite from you.
Miss? Well,that’s just a meaningless four letter word like love.
I don’t miss you.
I know I can’t send send this letter to you. For,I hate to say, but I still….Smiling with friends,working,rehearsing,I’ll redefine life once again.To love and back again. That day, I’ll write back to you.
Like the 17 letters I have thrown away in the last two months, I’ll throw this one as well. But hey,I am not a loser. At least I loved for once in my life and now I’m improving with every attempt. Someday I’ll win…that day I’ll mean,that day I’ll shout it loud that of course I don’t miss you. Till then, good bye.
Your different girl,
Ria
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