I lay in his arms, his breath in my ear. I could just fall asleep, but I know he has to leave soon. Why? Why does he have to leave when everything is so perfect? I wish I could just pause this moment right now and live in it forever.
I shift my legs so they’re intertwined with his. My fingers weave through his fingers. He plays with my hair with his free hand, tickling my face with the strands. I close my eyes. My breathing is calm, calm because I’m with him. I breathe in, inhaling his warm scent, and breathe out again. He traces his fingers around my eyes, my nose, my lips.
I slowly turn around, snuggling up to his body, feeling safe and sound. His arms wrap around me even tighter, confining me in his purity. He kisses my forehead, just like he does everyday. I don’t want him to leave.
I hear his heart beat. It soothes me. It makes me even sleepier. His chest is my home. He is my home. Wherever I am, I am at home if he is with me. He rests his cheek against my forehead and strokes his hands up and down my back. I wrap my legs around his again, not wanting to let go.
When I am with this boy, I feel loved. I don’t feel worthless anymore, I don’t feel meaningless. He is my reason to live, my reason to stay. I never feel alone as long as he is with me. I could be in a room crowded with people, and still feel alone. But if he is by my side, I know that I’m not.
This boy accepts me for who I am. For my insecurities, my flaws, and for my clumsiness. That’s hard to find, these days anyway. I never want him to leave me, for I would be blinded to find someone just like him. There is no one like him. He is my one and only.
We haven’t got much longer. Soon he’s going to have to walk out that door, and I’ll sleep alone again tonight. A tear roles down my cheek as the thought of him leaving me comes. I sniff, and suddenly he raises his cheek from my forehead. I look up, my eyes glistened, making it harder to see his expression. He doesn’t need to ask what’s wrong, he already knows. He moves his hand to my chin and tilts it up. His soft lips find mine. It’s a small kiss, but it still means everything to me. He pulls away and tucks my hair behind my ear. I put my head in his chest before he can see the tears streaming down my cheeks.
I close my eyes once again, and I hold on tightly to his shirt, dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go.
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