A Dream Worth Dying For

Morning, 4 a.m. He could hardly open his eyes but something happened overnight that left him awakened. He saw a dream, a dream that took his sleep away. He took a piece of paper and started writing

“Last night I saw a dream. In my dream, I was walking on a beach with you beside me, holding my hand. It was dusk and there was nobody around us. All that remained there was the two of us and a mild breeze which took pleasure by flirting with your hair. You looked so beautiful while you tried to rearrange your hair but the stubborn wind kept on putting all your efforts in vain. I placed my hand on your shoulder and you turned facing me.

You looked into my eyes and I looked into yours. They were two masterpieces created by god without any flaw and I kept looking when all of a sudden out of your shyness you descended your gaze. I lifted your face so that I can meet your gaze once again but you kept looking down. I held your face by my hand and reached for your lips. You were shaking and your lips trembled depicting your nervousness.

I tried to comfort you “You don’t need to be afraid of anything my love. I love you and no matter whatever happen and no matter wherever circumstances lead us to, I will always love you”. I don’t know how but those words did the magic. You lifted your eyes and smiled. A thunderbolt ran through my body as never before had I ever seen such a beautiful face bearing an even more beautiful smile and that time it was not me who reached for your lips but it was you who did that. Our lips met and they explored each other up to every possible extent. They touched each other with such tenderness as a mother would touch her new born baby.

The atmosphere felt calm and there was utmost silence except the sound made by the waves when they touched the shore. The cloud poured upon us and it started raining heavily. The clouds showered throughout the time that we kissed holding each other in our arms. We were drenched in the rain and our hairs glued to our faces. The tiny droplet of water that reached your lips made it more tasteful. We were lost in each other and we didn’t realize how long were we kissing but when we retreated, you looked at me innocently and love showered from your eyes. I mischievously rubbed your nose with mine and whispered to you “Will you be mine, Forever?” to which you replied “I am already yours my life”.”

 

He folded the paper and placed it in his closet among other folded pieces. He reached for his cell phone and dialed a number. He tried for several times but with no response. He finally gave up and decided to text instead “Hey Sana, I want to talk to you. Please call back when you get this message. Please talk to me for one last time.” He pressed the send button and waited, but his patience won over him and he tried to call her again but still there was no response. Sensing his helplessness he got into his feet and marched towards his bathroom to get a shower.

……. The memories of his dream haunted him throughout the day. He could not get her image out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. “It was just a dream Salman, get over it dude”, said Vikram, the one that held the highest regard among his best buddies.

“It wasn’t just a dream; everything was so clear as if it was happening for real. I saw her as clearly as I could see you”.

“So what are you trying to say? Huh? Was that an indication that Sana still has some flames up for you, is that what you analyze?”

“That’s not what I meant Vikram. I just want to talk to her for one last time”.

“Come on dude let’s face it, Sana has been gone since a month and she has not even tried to contact you. It’s over brother. You should move on with your life.” Vikram tried to explain him but unfortunately his explanation lacked any positive outcome.

Sana and Salman had been together for three years. Back when they were in high school, it was Salman who proposed Sana. Sana accepted him at once as she was madly in love with him too but she waited for him to commence. They were like love birds in the beginning but as the time advanced they started having arguments, arguments that led to quarrels, quarrels that led to numerous break ups. They suffered frequent ups and downs in their relationship when finally Sana realized that being in a relationship with Salman was a wrong decision, and that was the end of their relationship.

…….. Salman was sitting at his study table, busy with his lessons as his exams were knocking at his door. Though he was still unable to evade the thoughts of his beloved, he tried his utmost to do so. For the moment when he was dwelt in his thoughts, his cell phone rang “Hey Payal”, he answered. Payal was another addition to his list of best buddies. They were so close that they were often mistaken as couples, but they didn’t care. Let the people think what they wish to. They were still close friends and she could smell his anxiety from miles away.

Noticing his sober reaction, she replied “Hey, what has happened to my hero? Huh?” she giggled.

“Your hero is in deep mental trauma”, he retorted.

“Who dare trouble you? Name him and he is as good as dead!!” she said, trying her best to avoid giggling.

“You know who”, he responded with a dry chuckle. There was a minute stillness. Both of them were silent for a moment when suddenly Payal broke the silence, “Hey, are you planning to do all the talking over the phone while I stand at your doorstep or are you going to open the goddamn door?”

“What? You are out there? Oh god you are crazy. Wait a second”, he hung up the phone and darted towards the door. As soon as he opened the door he could see her standing right before him hooting with her laughter.

“Can I come in Mister?” she asked, still unable to hold her smile.

“Make yourself home Miss”

She seated herself in the couch while he fetched drinks for both of them. She took a sip and broke the silence “You still dream about her?”

He was wordless. The answer was certain – Yes. Ever since they were separated not a single night bypassed when he didn’t dream about her, not a single day bypassed when he didn’t think about her. Every day and each moment he felt an urge to confront her and to make everything as it was, but at the same time he was reminded of her words “I don’t love you Salman, everything is over now and no matter how hard you try to reinstate me, no matter how much you plead, I won’t come back in your life. You made my life a living hell, I felt as if I was imprisoned in your world. I had my life before I met you but you tore my world apart in the pursuit of creating your own in which I was no more than your slave. Not again Salman, not anymore. I am free now and I am enjoying my freedom. Please, I have tried hard to forget you; I can’t face you now to any further extent.”

Payal tried her utmost to cheer him up and she succeeded even, up to an extent. They finished their drink while they talked about their school days and all those priceless moments that they shared together along with other pals. After an hour of nostalgic instant Payal said adieu and departed saying something that left him euphoric “Hey, those dreams that you saw, I wish that they come true”

………. The sun was sinking in the horizon and the orange sky reflected in the mirror of the restaurant where people, tired from their day’s hard work came with their pals to relax and discuss their day. Among those people were two young ladies in their twenties busy in their talks “He called again today morning”, said Sana while she sipped her coffee.

“You didn’t respond did you?” said Anita.

“No” “Great; listen Sana, I know that you still love him and I know how badly you want him back but it would bring nothing but misery back into your life. That guy had his chance, not one, not two but numerous chances but every chance that he got, he ravaged it. You have your whole life ahead of you, live it rather allowing him to destroy it.”

“Anita, I have tried my best to put him behind me but I can’t stop myself from thinking about him. He had became a part of my life, I can’t eradicated him now”

“Who is asking you to eradicate his memories all at once? You can’t do that all at once, but you will, gradually”, explained Anita.

Her purpose for keeping Sana away from Salman was certain; she does not want to see Sana mourn for him again. She has seen what Sana had been through when she had arguments with him and now that she finally broke up with him; Anita won’t allow her to revert. But, Sana couldn’t forget about him, his image was stuck in her mind. His words, his face, his memories returned to her the very moment she felt that she got rid of them. She was reminded of the verse that he wrote for her “When she rests on my shoulder, it feels as if the whole world stood still and the time has lost its pace. I put my arms across her and embrace her to make sure that she feels the same. Her breath crawls through my body which stimulates me and the blood flows faster than usual through my veins. I close my eyes and imagine the world inhabited only by the two of us and pray that we hold each other until death fall upon us.”

“He’s there Anita; he’s there, not only in my mind but in my heart. I don’t believe that I would ever be able to wipe him out of my memories,” Sana lamented.

“You can, and you will”, said Anita.

 

…….. Salman was restless. He saw another dream last night. He cupped his face in his hands and took deep breath wondering what exactly is happening to him. Again, he took a piece of paper, carved his dreams, folded the paper and placed it in his closet. It was 10 in the morning but it was hard to infer as the sky was cloudy and the sun struggled to overcome the darkness. The vapor ascending from the coffee mug indicated that it was recently prepared.

Salman tucked his finger in the mugs grip and took a sip. He then took his cell phone and what he saw gave him a jolt. 1 missed call Sana He redialed and waited, his heart beating hard against his chest and his breath was giving off. Only after it rang five times that she received the call. “Sana?” that was the only word that crept out of his tongue. There was a pin drop silence for several minutes and then a soft voice commenced, “Hi”

“Hey, how are you baby? Why didn’t you return my calls, I tried so many times. I am sorry for everything my love; I was a fool to let you go. I know that I’d hurt you like hell but I want to make it all right as it was before. I would never make you cry again baby, I promise.”

“Your promises are as unreliable as you”, said Sana, still in a low soft voice. Tears, crawling her cheeks reached her lips and she tried her best to evade herself from crying.

“Tears drain away your strength” once Anita said to her.

“Don’t say so Sana, I love you. I know that I’d committed a great blunder but don’t give me such a severe punishment. It was never meant to be like this. I blew up our relationship. You were right, you were always right Sana. Just give me one final chance. I died the day you left me, just give me one last hope to feel alive”, his hands trembled while he kept on strolling around in his desperateness.

“Just meet me once”, he said.

“I can’t and I don’t want to”, this reply was not much to keep him from persuading her. The conversation went on for almost an hour when he finally succeeded in persuading her to meet him. She agreed to meet him the other day and then she hung up saying… “Remember, this might be our final meeting”

……….. Healing the wounds in her relationship wasn’t exactly what she had in mind when she agreed to meet Salman. But, she was excited for their meeting. Her wardrobe consisted of numerous apparels with varying patterns but still she found them outnumbered. After a while of hunting in her wardrobe she finally found one and immediately wore it before giving it a second thought. Thrice did she look herself in the mirror and it was the fourth time that she considered her hairstyle as unattractive.

Now that she was done with her makeup and clothing, there laid a tough task. She hadn’t told Anita yet and it was time for her to do so. Anita fumed when she heard Sana but Sana assured her that there was no way that she was going back to that relationship. It was a tough task convincing Anita but Sana was the only one in the world who acquired the capability to do so.

“Alright, But don’t let him take you,” said Anita.

“I won’t, trust me. I just want to confront him for the last time. I’d suffered a lot and I deserve an apology”, explained Sana. While the two of them were occupied in their conversation, Sana’s phone buzzed. She picked up the call and a feminine voice answered “Sana?”

“Yes?” responded Sana.

“I am Salmans friend, Payal”, she answered as her voice trembled and the echo of her breath was clearly audible, she continued “Salman met with an accident”, she paused again and then continued “He’s in the ICU and the doctor says his condition is very critical.”

 

………….. Salman endured a very traumatic head injury; several fractured bones and injured his shoulders. He was brought to the hospital by the locals who were present at the spot of accident. Blood collected on the surface of his brains and it resulted in brain herniation which in turn took him to coma. His duration of sleep was uncertain and all that doctors could say was that they were trying their level best. He was put under ventilation and was provided with artificial breathing as the pressure on his brain due to the blood impaired his brains ability to breathe.

“How’s he?” asked Sana as she rushed in the lobby where Payal and Vikram were waiting to hear from the doctor.

“He’s under intensive care and doctor is yet to come. Hope that we get to hear something positive”, said Vikram. Payal just stared at her and saw her eyes, swollen and still wet with tears. The three of them stood at the lobby and waited when the doctor approached them. They all waited for the doctor to commence and his silence made them uneasy.

“For god’s sake say something!” cried Sana.

“The good news is that he has started breathing properly which means that his brain is recovering from the shock but we still can’t say whether he would be able to wake from his sleep”, he could feel the ache that crept in the hearts of the three. Their anguish expressed from their eyes and a deep sense of hope dwelt in their hearts. A week passed by and Salman was still in the ventilator. He showed some minor healings but those were very less to ensure his complete recovery.

……………. It was a chilly night and Sana was there with Payal at Salman’s cottage. She was reminded of the pleasant moments that they shared together. The place where they loved teased and quarreled with each other.

“It’s so strange”, remarked Payal, “No one knows what fate has to offer. At one instant you are on cloud nine and on the next out of the blue you meet with your misfortune”.

Sana strolled around Salman’s room as Payal kept on talking, “I saw him that day. He was on the way to meet you. He was so happy that you agreed to see him. He was so sure that he would be able to convince you to come back in the relationship. But, it seems god had his own plans. The next time I saw him, he was lying on the bed with various machines and tubes attached to him and one white pressed rose wrapped with his blood.”

There was a memento that contained their photograph. Salman took the snap when they went for their first date. “You look so happy together”, remarked Payal. Sana didn’t respond. She took a stride towards his wardrobe and something caught her sight. The wardrobe was half open and she saw a pile of notes in the drawer folded and neatly placed inside. She took one piece of paper and unfurled it. She recognized Salmans handwriting.

“Dear Sana, your memories haunt me throughout the night and leave me sleepless. Why did we separate darling? Tonight I saw that we were together once again. We left behind all our misunderstandings and all our misery. I saw that we were strolling around and you were wrapped in my arms. It was a railway station and a train was halted at its platform. After a while, the train blew its honk indicating its departure. You whispered to me “I’ve to go my darling” and you started moving towards the train hoping that I would stop, but I didn’t.

I didn’t realize what I was losing until the train departed and you were gone. My heart started aching. All of a sudden I realized that you were gone and it might happen that I don’t get to see you anymore. I bolted towards the train as it was leaving the platform, but it was too late. The train left, but I was too stubborn to let you go. I started running, following the train. Halfway I realized that my foot was naked and the stones kept piercing my skin. I was exhausted, breathless, but in spite of these pains I continued running.

After a long while, the train started losing its speed. It was stopping at another station. I felt a sigh of relief and when the train finally stopped I got into it. The train was empty. There was neither sign of you nor any other individual. I walked through every compartment twice and thrice but I couldn’t find you. I searched the entire platform and then the entire station but everything looked so deserted as if nobody had ever stepped here before. Finally the train blew its honk and crawled its way towards another station. I just sat there cursing myself for letting you go.”

Sana was devastated. She wept as she read the letter and her cry echoed in the room. She fell in her knees, her hand coupled together and she prayed, “Please don’t do this to me. Please don’t take him away from me. I beg for his life from you. Spare his life for me, please god. I love him”.

 

………….. Sana was asleep when she heard a knock at her door. She slept weeping last night. Her eyes were heavy. She got into her feet and toddled her way towards the door. Payal was standing at her doorstep and the smile on her face indicated that she had something good to tell. A small curve sketched on her face.

“What is it?” asked Sana.

“Well, Salman is awake. He gained his consciousness last night while you were praying for his life…” Payal barely finished speaking when Sana hugged her. She held her so tight that Payal started losing her breath. Sana loosened her and without speaking a word she escorted her to her car and drove towards the hospital. When they reached the hospital, Sana rushed to Salman’s ward and waited for a minute before entering.

As she went inside, Salman caught her gaze. She stood there looking into his eyes. He somehow managed to give a wry smile. She walked towards him slowly and he extended his hand towards her. She placed her hand in his hand and he grasped it as if he was holding something utterly vital. They didn’t spoke to each other and yet they knew every thought in each other’s mind. A tiny droplet of tear emerged from her eyes, crawled its way through her cheeks and fell into his hand. He lifted her hand, pulled it towards his lips and kissed it. He held her hand close to his chest, to his heart, and said “I am terribly sorry for making you wait so long. I have a very bad habit of being late on our date”.

Sana chortled and kissed him in his forehead when Payal and Vikram entered the ward.

“Shall we come in, sir?” teased Vikram.

They talked for hours. Payal narrated the entire episode to Salman that occurred while he was asleep. Then Vikram narrated to Sana about Salman’s agony when she separated from him. Sana didn’t tell Salman about the letter that she found in his drawer. She wanted his secret to be a secret. …

Seven years later…

It was half past nine when Salman broke his sleep. Last night he saw yet another dream. He tilted his head and found Sana sleeping peacefully. His hand was stuck under her head. He pulled his hand very carefully and stealthily to avoid waking her up. He gave a tender look to his wife, kissed his engagement ring and went to his study room. He took a piece of paper and started writing… “I saw you again in my dream, darling. You were looking into my eyes with immense warmth and tenderness. You placed your hand into mine and asked, “My dear, did you ever realize why you never found me in that next station?”

I shook my head. You gave me a gentle smile, kissed me in the forehead and said, “Because I never got into that train. I waited for you to come back and take me home.”

He wrapped his face in his hand and a strange thought came into his mind, Could it be? Is his life really this kind to him? What if this was also a dream? What if he was dead during his accident and now he was living in a limbo. But, if it was so and he was really living in a dream then this dream was indeed a dream worth dying for.

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