Flip Side of the same Coin – Love Short Story
Photo credit: jzlomek from morguefile.com
–Heads–
It’s been 2 years to your marriage and I thought everything would end with it. But was it meant to be really? I don’t know.
I don’t know why I take that road, the road adjacent to your house. I can easily take the parallel road yet the handle of my bike tilts towards the very same road that I try to avoid. I don’t know why I visit the temple at a stone’s throw from your house though there are hundreds of temples in the city. I don’t know why I think of you even though knowing the fact that you are not mine and are happily married and well settled.
I don’t know why and I don’t want to know as well. There are few questions that are better left unanswered.
Today was no exception. Mom asked to buy some grocery from the market and I again took the very same road. Today was different though. I saw your father sitting in the balcony, poring through the newspaper. I was a bit surprised to see him as your house had been vacant ever since it saw you off post your marriage and for a moment I thought to stop and meet him as it had been long time to have met him. 5 years to be precise. The man who treated me as his own son never bothered to ask the well being of his so called son for the last 5 years. But I don’t know why I just zipped past your house in speed, pretending as if I have seen nothing. May be it was because of a bit of anger towards your father for not asking my whereabouts for so long. But I am sure your father would have seen me. And he might be wondering, why I did not meet him?
I tried to forget you, erase all your memories, only to be partially successful. Yes partially because whenever you call me once in a blue moon, to ask my well being, everything just rewinds in my mind. It’s not so easy to forget you. May be it’s the soft corner for you that is not allowing me to completely forget you.
Today all the memories of the past kept on flashing before my eyes as in a kaleidoscope.
I distinctly remember the day when I first met you. Your father got transferred to our town. I remember the day, you came to our house wearing specs, oily hair with two pony tails and probably you had loads of attitude, may be because of the fact that you were coming from a big city to a small town. To be honest I never cared for that, for I was the hero of my so called “small” town.
I never thought but we instantly get along with each other as if we knew each other for ages. I showed you my paintings, my cricket kit, my photos and everything that I could show you. Perhaps I was trying to impress you but you were genuinely interested in everything. You told me everything about your friends, hobbies, school etc. and your apprehension of studying in a small town. And I could just comfort you with the words that our school is also at par with the schools in the city. You just smiled. That 70 mm smile is still etched in my mind.
I remember how I cajoled my bench mate to sit on another bench so that the place remains vacant for you. I wanted to make you comfortable on your first day in school.
Days went by and I did not know when I started liking you. Probably it was because we spent a lot of time together-be it playing, be it studying. Or may be it was teenage infatuation. But the fact was simple- I always liked to be with you. I always wished time to stand still.
I do not know why I kept mum all these years and could not gather courage to let you know my feelings. May be you did not give any such signal or may be I could not read those signals. But to be honest, whenever I gathered courage or needed to buy your time, something or the other happened that left the words unsaid. Unheard or not, I am not sure of.
Time kept on flying at its own pace and the day had come which I wished should not have come. We passed our 10th class exam and it was then time to move to some other city for higher studies as our town had classes till 10th only. I remember how I used to pray each day to God to do a miracle so that our school gets permission and approvals for 11th and 12th class. I simply did not want to depart from you. But as they say, man proposes, God disposes. We had to say good bye to each other.
Though we were studying in different schools, we kept in touch through letters. The difference was I wrote to you regularly and you used to reply only occasionally. Though they are few, I still have those with me, nevertheless I persuaded you to burn those written by me to you, before your marriage.
Destiny however had something else for me and lady luck again smiled on me. After Pre-Engineering Test we landed in the same college. I could not believe it. So what we had different branches. The fact that you would be near me again led me to smile again and again.
As the days passed by, I started realizing that God had tied us in a strange relation. We were always there to support each other; laugh and cry with each other. Did I need anybody else with you around? And in all this, I always thought of saying it to you but simply could not gather courage. Probably you were waiting for me to break the ice. However it was only my presumption that I realized later.
I know you were extremely upset that day, the day I got my first bolt from the blue. The day you had your first break up. I was in a dilemma as to how to react. The very fact that you loved somebody and did not share with me; being the first reason. The second was dashing of my hopes. I always thought we were best buddies. But then on seeing you, all my anger used to vanish just like petrol in the air. I simply couldn’t see you in sad state.
I tried my best to console you and somehow got succeeded in helping you forget the pain. You were bubbly again. But this time I thought to keep quiet because I did not want to loose you. I always had that fear that if I speak, and you say NO, then our friendship would also be in trouble.
Time had wings and it simply flew away. We were Engineers now. And call it my destiny it was time to depart again. We got jobs in different cities. Only I know how much efforts I put in to get the job in the same company you got the job. But sometimes, some things go in vain despite all the great efforts. The pain of parting was less this time because I thought that you are not made for me per se. I just cajoled and consoled myself.
Life was moving at it’s own pace and our talks were now limited to emails and the weekly phone calls on Sunday that I blended in to my routine, though I hardly remember that you called by yourself. I never mind because I simply cannot dislike anything about you. Still.
I got the second shock of my life when I came to know that you are in a relationship again, with a friend of your school time – the school where you studied before coming to our small town. And call it a coincidence that guy got the job in your company and at the same location as yours. The painful fact was that I came to know about this not from you. However, after this I consoled myself that I am only a “friend” type material for you and that was my destiny written by the creator on my forehead. I had to accept it. I felt it was more venomous than poison.
I never bothered to ask you about this guy because I did not want to hurt myself. And what right did I have? I might think of sharing each and every happening of my life with you but it’s not necessary you do the same.
One fine day you told me that you are going to come to my city to attend a business meeting. Boy! I beamed with happiness. That very day I decided to gather courage and speak whatever I had for you when we meet. I specifically asked you to be with me for the whole day. Probably I wanted to be with you the time you were here or probably I wanted to buy time to speak the toughest sentence of my life. The night before the day you were supposed to come that whole night I could not sleep.
Destiny had always played around games with me. This was no exception. I thought of spending the whole day with you and you gave me an hour of your time. An hour! You wanted to meet some other friends of yours as well. I thought I was important to you but I guess that was not a fact. I got disheartened and decided not to speak. Probably I was realizing my importance in your life. And that was tough to digest.
You came; you went away, giving me an utter emotional turbulence for few days. You had problems, you spoke to me. Where should I have gone?
Time is the biggest healer and I gained my composure and poise with it.
God has strange ways of doing things. One fine day you called me up and you were sobbing. And when you were not happy, how could I be? I got to know that you again had a break up! For a moment, I was stunned. Again! I thought, poor girl. I also felt bad on the fact that I am coming to know about your love affairs only when you are having your break ups. But then I always wanted your happiness.
It again took my lot of efforts and energy to get you back on your smiling and happy mode. You happy; me happy. Period. Nothing else was required.
I was still unsure whether to speak it or not. We grew pretty close after this and almost talked daily. But I did not speak. Probably I was still not sure what value I hold for you? Then until one fine day you called up and said, “My marriage has been fixed.” You were beaming with happiness. For me, I was not sure what emotions came. But then your happiness always was of prime importance to me, so I was happy as well.
After this we hardly talked. You would only call occasionally to say hello. Probably it’s the fact of life-people change post marriage. I carried with my own life and this time I was not having heavy heart because I very well understood that God had not made you for me. I know I did not attend your wedding. But I had my reasons, the reasons that are buried deep under.
We came on this Earth to be friends only.
My all the best wishes are for you; as always.
–Tails–
I am happily married and enjoying my life but sometimes I don’t know for what reasons I miss you. I miss your talks, miss your company. It’s not that I don’t love my husband but then there is some strange or rather divine relation between us that makes me remember you every now and then.
Dad called up today and told that he saw you. He told that he was reading newspaper and you zipped past our house. He was surprised that you did not meet him. Then he thought probably you would have not seen him. I don’t know what happened and I better leave it to both of you to sort it out!
Today after hearing your name, I am mesmerized and overwhelmed by all the sweet memories of our good old days. The time I spent with you were really the golden days of my life.
I was apprehensive on the day I first met you. I was not happy with the fact that I was about to leave all my friends and go to small town for studying. I cried and cried. I told my dad that I did not want to go. But then who can change the destiny? You are most humble and simple person I have ever met. After meeting with you, I felt comforted and was assured that things would not be that awry as I am thinking them to be.
You were always there for me and throughout our school days I did not face any problem and it was all because of you. I knew people were jealous of us. As the time progressed, I had a liking for you. But I was always skeptical and shrugged it off considering it to be more of a teenage infatuation. Moreover I had a career to focus upon. And I was also not sure whether you felt the same way.
But then as we departed after our high school, and our meetings became limited and I engrossed in studies, I probably became oblivious of those feelings. It always felt great to receive your letters and those always made me happy but because of my habit of putting of the things to tomorrow, I could not reply to each one of those. I am still bad in those things.
I always feel indebted to you for supporting me and holding my hand through toughest emotional traumas of my life. Those were something I could have shared only with you and nobody else, not even my parents. I know you did not tell but you must have thought as to why I did not tell you about those two persons in my life. I always thought of telling and sharing the new feeling that I was experiencing but I wanted to be sure before revealing it to you. I know I was wrong in thinking. You always told me every small thing happening in your life.
You know, there was time post my break ups, I felt close to you. I always saw you near me. I always wanted to talk to you. I always felt comfort when talking to you. And I still feel so. This feeling was a strange feeling and had never happened before. I always thought of you as my friend and never had this strange feeling. Was I in love again? I did not understand it so I decided to check it out by giving it some time. On the other hand I had inkling but I was not that sure whether you felt the same way or not. I thought if there is something in your mind, you would speak up and let me know, after all you shared each and everything with me. Moreover I did not want to put you in dilemma by asking you first. I had my fears as well.
You always told me, destiny and time are the biggest players in the game of life. And my life was no exception. I waited and waited for you to speak. Probably you did not like me. I was in a confused state. More over I was aging, my parents were looking out for my prospective groom. Time was really running out of hands. I just consoled myself that you are not speaking because you consider me as friend only.
The day had finally come. Time slipped away. My marriage was fixed. I was happy and ecstatic because it’s the biggest event in anybody’s life. And after so many things, I was finally going to settle down.
I know we got out of touch post my marriage was fixed because I was spending time knowing my future would be for I was going to spend rest of the life with him. It was a matter of life per se. I am really bad in managing time. I really am. Still.
You promised me to attend my wedding. My eyes were looking for you and I was eager for your presence only. But my eyes did not find you. May be something held you up. Or may be the reasons I could only vaguely guess.
I suppose destiny had only “friendship” to offer us and I am really lucky to have you as my friend.
We hardly talk each other these days, but I always wish best for you.
__END__
