From the shadows

Life is full of surprises.Twist and turns.My life took an unexpected turn and changed my life forever.Watching hindi movies and reading mills & boon,made me think,these things dont happen really.But i was wrong.Here is my short and sweet love story,maybe not short but sweet to its core.How tough challenges life gives you,if you hold on tight everything will be fine.Its like hanging on tight to a tree when river water floods on you.But you have to hold on tight because the water has to go its way.

It was a fine summer day ,the sky was blue with white clouds more like vanilla ice cream.The birds in the air the caterpillars munching leaves.It was an usual day which turned out to be unusual for life.

I was in first year of college when i saw him walk into the classroom.He was tall husky  lightly colored -bearded sardar. It was my friend geetu next to me who poked me with her elbow and said look look. He was very fair and his beard was light in color. I had seen many sardars but this was unusual of me.I stared at him and went back to my doodling.

Later that day when i was returning to my dorm, I saw him again passing with few of his new friends. I had a strange feeling inside me.Next day at class geetu whispered that he was from jammu. It was lab time. Miss Kuki Koechline,our teacher came over and said that a new student will join me for lab. It was that sardar again.

He came over and for the first time spoke with me.His voice was very gentle with soothing tone.He had light brown eyes.He said he may take few classes at our college.Before he continue his course in UK.Days went by,i was in the same lab.Days went by.We were spending time together in lab.The more i knew him the more i admired him.He wanted to help the needy and work in under developed  clinics across the globe.Strange things to hear in this age of money making ITs.Our relation was merely platonic.Nothing more than hi and bye gestures.I teased him for small things,like he would stare at  the lab mirror and comb his beard.

College was closing in few weeks for summer.My dear friend Geetu was like my mom on campus,worried about  my personal life.She would never miss the opputunity to convey things happening on campus.Geetu came over at the cafeteria,told me he was going away for summer and not sure of coming back.I had developed something for him,which confused me.I had never thought of someone so much ever.So i wrote to him.

”Dear How are you?what course are you planning after summer.”

Two lines only i could think.But mailed them.Then our correspondence started.He replied to me everyday.

We never called just mailed each other.He would mail me about his family.How and why he became a doc.And his childhood crushes,his favourite food,his favorite season.he liked autumn.He would say he love the change of color of  leaf from green to golden.And how the leaves would fall.And how the breeze carry the leaves in a whirl.And how he hit a bully.

Few weeks later i get a call.It was him and my jaw dropped.I was speechless.I mumbled.I  said  spoke little and said good bye.I thought him and waited for the next semester to start.Then the day came and he too.Fresh as ever with his heart warmimg smile,which stopped my heart.He bought me some gifts.Well it was a olive color hat and a note book and two file folders.

It was our fourth year,we had to move one with our careers.He came over to me and told me he wanted to talk to me after class.We met at the library.He passed a letter into my hand and left.

The letter read ” Dear Its strange but ever since i moved here i cannot stop thinking of you.I cannot live with out you,come with me lets lead a life together.I will speak with your parents.We can spend rest of our lives happily.”

It got tears to my heart.He said he was leaving in few weeks.I never had the courage to tell my family.I loved him so much  but i loved my parents more.

I wrote to him one last time.

Dear i love you. everytime i see the moon i remember you.i see the stars and ask them to say good night for you.

your love melted my heart.your voice still whispers my name.i turn back to see you in the shadows.i see you in my drawings.our memories will never perish.the love i have for you will never end.its my promise to you.but your love will be a secret in my heart which i will take to my grave one day.i will try not to forget you.but you please do.

From Dr.Urusa

College finished,he too left.Life was usual with something missing.Time passed.My parents were very proud of me,I was an able doctor.My patients respected me.My work me kept me busy or was it i didnt want to think about him!My parents started looking grooms for me.They wanted grand children.I ignored and concentrated on my work. Marriage proposals poured.I was still hesitant.

But time was not moving quicker.At nights i would lie awake listening the tick tock  of my clock.The crickets outside &  croaking of the frogs.I would await for the sunrise.And count days , count seasons!

I was invited for a conference in United states.I felt some relief to get away from my over eager relatives who wanted to have me married.And also i my busy schedule.

It was autumn.Leaves were golden and the breeze was cool.Something reminded me of him.People were very friendly.At the day of the conference.I was seated near the door.The place was a good view of the gallery.Doctors from around the world gathered.It was good to see all the intellect under one roof.And suddenly my eyes fell on someone very familiar.It was him.My heart thumped.I wanted to hide my face.

But it was too late.He saw me walked across the room.And took the next seat to me.There was a moment of silence.He spoke first.He asked about my welfare.He said i looked prettier than before.I just stared.He was beside me all the time all through the conference.At the end of the conference.He gently held my palm.And invited to his home for a party on the weekend.I was reluctant to go.He said he would wait for me.

I was thinking of ways to avoid him.I took a cab and went to other part of town.I spent the endless hours at the Mall.I decided it was time to go to the hotel.Then there he was in the lobby.My feet trembled.He looked at me.He asked me why i am so scared.And why i run away from him.I had no answer.He told me not to go back,instead settle here.He pleaded.Tears rolled.I was adamant.He left without a word.

I sobbed on my pillow the whole night.i felt like a fool.My stubborness or my stupidness.For the first time i thought i was a jerk.Cattle had better lives.

I came back home.My family was happy to see me.I was too.But from inside it was felt like a tempest!I settled down for my work again.And it was work that i loved.

A few months later.When i was home from work.I saw him again at my home speaking my dad.I wished the earth to break and swallow me or meteor to stuck my head.But nothing happened.And i was called in.My father a very understanding person,kind hearted,spoke up.This man tells that he wants to marry you.And he says his name is Sodi.He says you also have feelings for him.Speak up!

I was lost!And waiting for earth to break!!Maybe a sinkhole below my feet.

I got the courage.I told this is not possible.Sodi can leave.Sodi pleaded.My father took a decision.He knew very well what to do.The decision which changed my life forever.

I was sent away to live with my aunt  on  the gulf coast.It was a small fishing town by the beach.It was the place where the sahara met the sea.I would go on long drives.It was quiet place,very few people resided here.Most of them were farmers.One thursday afternoon i was out on the road driving.It was very sunny and the sun glared.And i missed something .Before i could see  a  camel hit my car.I went blank.

When i opened my eyes,it was badly injured.Nearly crippled.My family and friends called about my welfare.

But i still waited for his call.I have rejected him so many times.I felt shallow.I thought at least i can call.

I made a call.He was away on duty.I felt terrible.My heartached.

My dad came over the next day.he had a strange look on his face which i had never seen in my life.My mother was in the room too.He and mom made a wise decision.they have changed there mind about Sodi.And they were ready to accept him.

I called him again but no response.I was getting desperate.I couldnt go.Where was he?i hope he is safe.

Tears trembled and i looked  out the window.Falcons flying freely in the sky.

I was relieved from the hospital.My  physiotherapy was on.I still walked on my crutches.The accident had crippled me.Lucky for me the doctor said i would have lost my life if i hadnt been admitted on time.God had a plan.I prayed and regained inner strength.

Next day i got a call.It was Sodi s brother. Sodi was away as an Army doctor for the red cross.He was on an assignment in Ghana.There was no deadline for his work.I grew restless.

I waited impatiently.Weeks passed.Again the time stood.I was regaining  inside and out.I recovered and went back to work in India.

One day after work when i reached home.I see him at my home.I had tears.I walked in.My father said he was happy.Times have changed my father.He was like an iron pillar.Never changing his word.But now things were different.My situation after the accident had changed.So his mind.He had accepted Sodi. But still some my other relative did not agree.Father decided that  the marriage will take place in United states.

Leaving India was sad.But US was  the place i was reuniting with some one very special.Upon reaching United states. Sodi and i got married.Happiest day ever.It was a small ceremony.People blessed us.

It all felt like a dream.But this dream was true.I felt a cool and let go feeling.I was relaxed, satisfied.Things were on my side, the man i loved too.

We started a new life in a small coal town in United states.Happy days among unknown strangers.

And again the happiest day came when my daughter Zaara was born.And it was a new beginning.A reminder of  hope and my struggle through the time.

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