LLC04: IMPERFECT LOVE LETTERS

Dear priya,
The reason I am writing this letter is I like you and i can’t say this to you in person because whenever I am around you the expression in your eyes becomes completely hostile, full of hatred filled for me. I know your first impression about me is really bad because I chased pappu on the road and kicked him before you, but that was supposed to be his birthday bumps and we guys do that for fun, but why did you hurt me.

the other day when you came with your little brother to the bakery and when your brother told me that he wants to be as strong as me when he saw me you Just pulled him from there telling you should never become a gunda (bad man). Do I look like a gunda to you?…. may be I look a little but why did you judge me by my appearance? why don’t you give me a chance to express myself?

 

“nah nah….this looks more like a complaint letter than love letter, this is not perfect”pratap tore the page from the book crushed it into a ball and threw towards his back.

Pratap was always a perfectionist, he always carved for perfection. He is a strongly built, shabby stubbled, long haired job searching young guy who just found his first love. He has really good name with elders in the colony but he completely messed it up before his girl priya.

Priya was not the resident of that colony she came for vacation to spend time with her grandfather who happens to be pratap’s neighbour.

After creating his first impression pratap never got a chance to even say her hello once and now she will be returning in 15 days.Nothing much left to do as she is not even interested in him.So he went to pappu so that he can share his sorrow.

Looking at his friend’s sad face pappu wanted to help him. He thought he was also the reason for his friend’s state as he was also part of creating priya’s first impression about pratap as a jerk.So he wanted to make up for it.

pappu :pratap don’t worry she is behaving like that because she doesn’t know you. If she comes to know about you i bet she would like you for sure

pratap: Leave it bro there is nothing left now ,ya she may like me if she knows me but how can i tell her who i am and what i feel for her whenever i approach her she ignores me.

pappu: why don’t you write her a loveletter.

pratap: come on yaar don’t give such outdated ideas.

pappu : old is gold man and this is the best for you right now anyway she is not going to listen to you but she can read you if you write.

pratap: even when i write a letter and give it to her i think she will tear it of even before reading it.

pappu: i have a solution for it.

pratap: what?

pappu: it will happen if you give the letter what if when you don’t give it then she will read it for sure.

pratap: then who will give it.

looking at pappu’s weird smile

pratap: no not you i have already messed up my image kicking you before her no not you once again she may thimk i have threatened you to give the letter.

pappu: shut up you idiot. i have a different plan.look she comes to our colony’s library daily and being the librarian she asks me for old novels and books this evening when i will give her the book i will place your letter in it.then she will definetly read it.

pratap: why should i force her to know about me even if i write her why would she believe me ,she would believe me only when she discovers things about me not when i say that i am so and so.

pappu: come on yaar stop things about perfection now. nothing is perfect in world and in this world if you love some one you have to express it to them.

pratap: i still don’t think it as best option but i don’t have any other so i think i should give it a try and atlast your part time job as librarian has served some good reason bro.

And now pratap is sitting in the chair and thinking in the top floor of library where no one comes as there only outdated old and wornout books are placed.

“may be I should praise her a lot in the letter”pratap thought and he and writing

 

Dear priya,
Whenever I think about you I get lost in your eyes. Its like you don’t need to speak at all everything looks clear in your eyes. I hope I too had such eyes in which I could show you how much I like you

Sorry for sending this letter this way by keeping it in your book but i had no other chance to show love to you

 

“nah nah…with the impression she has on me and after reading this letter she will definetly think I am a roadside romeo this not perfect” once again pratap crushed it into a ball and threw it backwards.

I can’t do this, what should I write? how should I write a loveletter. I think I should write what she and love means to me pratap thought so and once again started writing.

 

Dear priya,
I saw you first time when you helped an old woman cross the road and you were really happy. That happiness in your eyes and smile on your face I can never forget them.
It made me fall for you. It brought the confidence in me to talk to you, a girl which I was never confident in doing but whenever I approach you I never saw that happiness in your eyes all it had was hatred. Actually I was not clear about what to talk, how to express my love.
I don’t want to make you my girlfriend with whom I can hang around and about whom I can brag before my friends and silently chat with you during nights as others do. The only thing I want form you is to see that happiness in your eyes and that smile on your face which I first saw. I want to be the reason for the happiness and smile, I want to know you and change myself as you like and I want to make you feel as happy as you were then and I want to do it for my whole life this my love which I want to give you.

 

“this looks sincere but based on the choice of her romantic novels I think she is not gonna like this”pratap thought for a while and once again crushed the letter into ball and threw it backwards.

He thought for a while dropped the pen on the table and thought may be I am not made for this ,I am not a romantic guy who can win his girl with his words, may be I am not made for love it self.

He raised the front legs of chair taking support of the table raised his chin above and once again he thought about priya, her smile, her eyes for some time and then he lowered the chair moved his head in disappointment and he raised from the chair broke his knuckles to release fatigue.

then he came downstairs

pappu: where is the letter bro she would be coming any minute now.

pratap: leave it yaar i think we are trying too much.

pappu: what?

pratap: i think we should not force somebody to know about ourselves. she did not try anything to show that she was good i liked her as she was i to want her to like me the same way.

pappu: why are you loosing your heart yaar?

pratap: i am not loosing it , i am just trying to be myself. relax bro why are you so sad about this ,i really appreciate what you did for me but this how it has to be. bye.

pratap opened the door and before him it was priya whose expression in eyes changed when she saw him.looking this he just smiled and moved back so that she can come in and then he went out.

Days have passed and pratap and priya have crossed their ways many times and every time she saw him he had that warm smile and gentle behaviour which she ignored to see in him everyday.He did not try to talk to her he did not try to impress her by changing himself he just behaved as what he would do and how he was.

Day by day the seriousness in her eyes for pratap was reduced and she now saw him as every other normal person around . Pratap also started going to library and borrowing some books so that he could fill his time and stop thinking about his love failure even before it has started.

one day priya went to library to return back the book she took and she asked pappu

priya :do you have any other old novels i want to borrow some

pappu : look mam you are not my only customer i have and can’t search books for you daily if you want them go to the top floor and find the old books yourself over there.

pappu had a bit of hatred for her because of her behaviour towards pratap which he did not show much but today he bursted out  before her.

shocked by the behaviour of pappu priya went to top floor and opened the door.the room was a complete mess there was a table and chair in the middle of the room lot of waste papers on the floor and so many piles of books around covered with dust.

she started searching books in that pile and she took a book which was completely covered with dust she took the book looked around to get some thing to clean it but nothing was around then she saw some paper which were crushed into balls there she took one of them and started to dust the book and due to the dust she started sneezing.

after coming into her senses from her loud sneezes she was shocked to see her name on the paper ball she opened it.It was the first letter which pratap wrote that day.

even though it did not had the name of the person who wrote it but priya understood that it was pratap who wrote the letter.

she started feeling sorry for her behaviour that day at the bakery and she started searching other waste papers around she got the the third letter which pratap wrote that day.

priya started feeling his sincerity in the letter and she understood that he is different from others.she read a lot of love stories but she never came across this kind of love where everything he wants is to be the reason for happiness.Now she felt as she as if she has missed him.

she started searching other letters and she got the second letter of pratap.

he is not good at praising she thought and reading the last line she started thinking.

why didn’t he give this letter to me why did he threw them here , she was not able to understand it.she searched for any other letter around and she did not get any.

she went to pappu with letter and asked about it.

priya: why didn’t he gave me the letter as he wanted?

pappu: as he wanted, it was never his idea i pushed him to do that but he thought it was not right.

priya: huh?

pappu: you see he is a perfect gentleman not by how he looks but how he behaves. you know what he said that day he did not want to force anybody to know about him. All he wanted was you to know him naturally as he knew about you when the first time he saw you. He thought that would be perfect.He is a perfectionist and he thought if you could recognise him and his love naturally without his efforts then it would be perfect but you never even saw him as a person then how can you find his love that’s why he dropped that thought.

the next day pratap was in the reading room of the library reading a book and when he turned to next page he saw a letter.

 

Dear Pratap,

i am really sorry that i called you a gunda that day i think i shouldn’t have judged you just by your appearance.but if you seriously wanted to see me happy because of you then why didn’t you give me those letters.

i know that you wanted me to know you naturally just as others but i am not writing this because of those letters.i wanted to know how could you smile at the person and respect them when thier eyes have complete hatred to you.i thought about this many times but i never understood until i read those letters. tomorrow i am going back to my place i want you to meet me now on the top floor of library.

 

pratap read the letter and started running towards the stairs. he opened the door and it was priya standing there.

she smiled looking at him looked into his eyes and said “i don’t that you can see the happiness in my eyes right now but i am really happy that i came to know something about of you because of this letters”

so in that way even his imperfect loveletters helped pratap to gain love the perfect way he thought.

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